How to Deal with Workplace Bullying

Workplace bullying has a way of making competent people doubt themselves. At first, it might look like ordinary tension: a blunt comment, a difficult manager, a colleague who seems to enjoy undermining others, or a workplace culture where everyone is expected to “just cope”. Over time, though, the pattern becomes harder to ignore. You may find yourself checking emails with a tight chest, rehearsing simple conversations, avoiding certain people, or feeling sick before Monday has even arrived.

That’s why advice on how to deal with workplace bullying needs to go beyond “stand up for yourself” or “report it to HR”. Those steps may be useful, but bullying often happens inside complicated power structures. There may be financial pressure, career concerns, fear of retaliation, or genuine uncertainty about whether the behaviour is “bad enough” to act on. A clearer starting point is to understand the pattern, protect your wellbeing, and avoid making decisions from panic or shame.

Know The Difference Between Conflict and Bullying

Not every unpleasant workplace interaction is bullying. People disagree, managers give feedback, deadlines create pressure, and even healthy workplaces have difficult conversations. Bullying is different because it involves repeated, unreasonable behaviour that creates a risk to your health, safety or wellbeing.

It might include public humiliation, constant criticism, exclusion from important conversations, gossip, intimidation, impossible workloads, shifting expectations, withholding information, personal insults, or being set up to fail. Sometimes it’s obvious, but more often, it’s subtle enough that you start questioning your own judgement. You may think, “Maybe I’m too sensitive,” or “Maybe this is just how this workplace operates.” If the behaviour is repeated, targeted and affecting your mental health, it deserves to be taken seriously.

Keep Your Focus on the Pattern

Bullying often creates confusion because each incident can sound minor when described on its own. A sharp comment in a meeting. A message ignored. A deadline changed without warning. Being left out of one discussion. The harm usually sits in the accumulation, not one isolated event.

This is why documentation matters. Keep a private record of what happened, when it happened, who was present, what was said or done, and how it affected your work or wellbeing. Save relevant emails, messages or documents where it’s appropriate and lawful to do so. You’re not trying to build a case out of paranoia; you’re creating clarity outside the emotional fog that bullying often causes.

A written record can also help you communicate more effectively if you decide to speak with a manager, HR, a union representative, lawyer, GP or psychologist. Instead of trying to explain a general feeling of being targeted, you can describe a pattern of specific behaviours.

Protect Your Nervous System While You Decide What to Do

Workplace bullying can push your body into a constant threat state. Even when you’re not at work, part of you may still be bracing for the next criticism, email, meeting or confrontation (this can affect sleep, appetite, concentration, mood, confidence and relationships).

Looking after your nervous system doesn’t mean accepting the bullying; it means reducing the damage while you work out your next steps. Simple boundaries can help – don’t check emails late at night unless you genuinely have to, create a transition routine after work, speak with someone safe, reduce alcohol if it’s becoming a coping tool, and make sure you’re eating and sleeping as consistently as possible. These steps won’t fix an unsafe workplace, but they can help you think more clearly.

When you’re under sustained stress, your brain can start narrowing every option down to either escape immediately or endure indefinitely. Usually, there are more options than that, but they’re easier to see when your body isn’t in permanent alarm mode.

Be Careful with Direct Confrontation

Some advice makes confrontation sound simple: tell the bully to stop, assert yourself, be firm. In reality though, this depends heavily on the person, the power dynamic, and the workplace culture. If the bullying is coming from someone vindictive, senior, manipulative or protected by the organisation, direct confrontation can sometimes make things worse.

That doesn’t mean you’re powerless. It means your response should be strategic. In some situations, it may be useful to ask for instructions in writing, redirect hostile conversations back to work tasks, bring another person into meetings, or use calm, precise language such as: “I’m happy to discuss the work, but I’m not comfortable with personal comments,” or “Can you clarify the expectations for this task in writing?”.

The aim isn’t to win an argument. It’s to reduce ambiguity, protect yourself, and avoid being pulled into reactive exchanges that could later be used against you.

Get the Right Support Early

Bullying thrives in isolation. The more alone you feel, the easier it becomes to believe the bully’s version of reality. Choose your support carefully, especially if you’re speaking to people inside the workplace. A trusted colleague may be helpful, but so may someone outside the system: a friend, mentor, GP, psychologist, union representative or legal adviser.

Professional support can be especially important if your confidence has started to erode. Workplace bullying often activates old patterns around failure, shame, subjugation, mistrust or perfectionism. You may respond by overworking, staying silent, apologising too much, avoiding conflict, or trying to become flawless so no one can criticise you. These responses make sense as survival strategies, but they can also keep you trapped.

Consider Your Formal Options

Once you have a clearer picture of the pattern, you may decide to raise the issue through workplace channels (this might involve your manager, HR, a health and safety representative, union support, or external advice). Before making a formal complaint, review your workplace policies and get guidance if you’re unsure. Put concerns in factual language, focus on behaviour rather than personality, and describe the impact on your work and wellbeing.

Some workplaces respond appropriately… others minimise, delay or protect the wrong person. If the organisation shows no real willingness to make the environment safe, it may be necessary to consider whether staying is sustainable. Leaving doesn’t mean you failed; sometimes it means you’ve stopped paying for someone else’s behaviour with your health.

Rebuild What the Bullying Wore Down

Even after the bullying ends, its effects can linger. A lot of people carry the experience into their next role, expecting criticism, mistrusting managers, overworking to prove themselves, or feeling anxious around feedback. This doesn’t mean you’re damaged; it means your mind and body adapted to an unsafe environment.

At Your Psychologist in Melbourne, Franco Greco works with adults dealing with workplace stress, bullying, burnout, anxiety, depression, self-doubt and long-standing emotional patterns that can be triggered by difficult professional environments. As a Clinical and Counselling Psychologist and Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist, Franco brings both clinical depth and an understanding of workplace pressure, including executive and corporate environments.

Schema Therapy can be particularly useful when workplace bullying has reinforced painful beliefs such as “I’m not good enough”, “I can’t speak up”, “people can’t be trusted”, or “I have to be perfect to be safe”. Therapy can help you reduce self-blame, strengthen boundaries, rebuild confidence and make clearer decisions about what comes next.

Speak with Franco Greco about workplace bullying

Learning how to deal with workplace bullying isn’t only about managing a difficult workplace. It’s about protecting your mental health, your judgement, and your sense of self. If workplace bullying has left you anxious, depleted, self-critical or unsure of your next step, Franco Greco at Your Psychologist can help. Reach out to book an appointment or learn more about support for workplace stress, bullying, anxiety, burnout and schema-related patterns.