Case Study: Healing Emotional Disconnection in a Professional Couple Using Schema Therapy and the Gottman Method
A case study outlining how Schema Therapy combined with the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy was used to support a professional couple who are emotional disconnected.
Overview
This case study outlines how Schema Therapy combined with the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy was used to support a professional couple—both lawyers—struggling with emotional disconnection, criticism, and intimacy issues. The therapy was delivered at Your Psychologist Elsternwick, a Melbourne-based psychology clinic known for helping couples navigate complex emotional and relational challenges.
Background of the Couple
Names: Rachel (38) and David (40)
Occupations: Both are full-time lawyers at a leading legal firm in Melbourne
Family: Married for 7 years with two young children (ages 4 and 1)
Presenting Concerns: Emotional disconnection, frequent conflict, diminished intimacy, and lack of support during life transitions
Rachel had recently returned to work after parental leave and felt emotionally overwhelmed and frequently criticized. David described feeling emotionally shut out and unwanted—not just recently, but over several years. They sought relationship counselling at Your Psychologist Elsternwick to help reconnect and resolve underlying emotional issues.
Key Relationship Issues
- Emotional disconnection and unmet needs
- Criticism, shutdowns, and reactive conflict cycles
- Loss of emotional intimacy
- Stress related to dual careers and parenting responsibilities.
Schema Therapy Formulation
Rachel’s Core Schemas and Coping Styles:
- Schemas: Emotional Deprivation, Enmeshment
- Coping Modes: Surrender and Avoidance
- Rachel shut down emotionally when feeling overwhelmed or criticized, withdrawing to protect herself.
David’s Core Schemas and Coping Styles:
- Schemas: Emotional Deprivation, Defectiveness
- Coping Modes: Overcompensation
- David became critical and emotionally distant as a way to manage his deeper feelings of loneliness and emotional hunger.
Gottman Method Couples Therapy Integration
During the Gottman relationship assessment process at Your Psychologist Elsternwick, the following patterns were observed:
- The Four Horsemen:
- Criticism (David)
- Defensiveness and Stonewalling (Rachel).
- Sound Relationship House Weak Points:
- Low emotional attunement (Love Maps)
- Decreased fondness and admiration
- Missed bids for connection
- Lack of shared meaning in the parenting transition.
Therapy Goals
- Rebuild emotional safety, empathy, and trust
- Interrupt schema-driven dynamics and promote healthy coping
- Strengthen emotional communication and conflict repair
- Support parenting role rebalancing and personal identity transitions.
Therapeutic Process at Your Psychologist
Phase 1: Schema Awareness and Emotional Insight
- Couples were guided through schema mapping and mode identification.
- Both were surprised to learn they shared an Emotional Deprivation schema but coped in opposite ways: Rachel through emotional withdrawal, David through overcompensating and criticism.
- Gottman’s “Dreams within Conflict” exercise helped identify unmet needs and fears (e.g., David’s need to feel emotionally valued; Rachel’s need for emotional safety and autonomy).
Phase 2: Emotional Reconnection and Mode Healing
- David learned to soften his Detached Protector and Over-compensator Modes and access his Vulnerable Child Mode, enabling more authentic emotional sharing.
- Rachel was supported in expressing needs without retreating or surrendering to criticism. Her emotional shutdowns were reframed as protective strategies from early enmeshment experiences.
Gottman Interventions Used:
- Softened Start-Ups and State of the Union Meetings
- Stress-Reducing Conversations and Turning Toward exercises
- Love Map rebuilding and rituals of connection.
Phase 3: Role Negotiation and Future Planning
- Couples therapy sessions at Your Psychologist Elsternwick focused on redistributing household and parenting responsibilities to reduce stress and resentment.
- The couple established new rituals of connection and created flexible boundaries around work and parenting roles.
Outcome After 16 Sessions
- Rebuilt emotional trust and increased empathy
- Reduced conflict and more effective repair after disagreements
- Enhanced intimacy and shared meaning
- Improved communication and emotional regulation under stress
- Both partners reported renewed confidence in the relationship.
Franco's Insight
This case illustrates the powerful impact of Schema Therapy and Gottman Method integration—especially for professional couples like lawyers, who often suppress emotional needs due to career demands and high-functioning coping styles.
The structured emotional work done at Your Psychologist Elsternwick helped uncover the deeper patterns driving disconnection and gave this couple practical, lasting tools for change.
About Franco Greco and Your Psychologist
Franco Greco is a Clinical and Counselling Psychologist based at Your Psychologist in Elsternwick, Melbourne. He is an Accredited Schema Therapist and is trained in the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy.
Franco specialises in working with professional couples—including lawyers, doctors, and executives—who are navigating life transitions, emotional disconnection, parenting stress, and intimacy challenges.
Need Help Reconnecting in Your Relationship?
If you're a professional couple feeling emotionally disconnected—whether due to parenting, work stress, or long-standing patterns—relationship counselling at Your Psychologist Elsternwick can help.
Contact Franco Greco at Your Psychologist to set up an initial call to discuss how he might you.