Talking Nicely To Yourself - It Is So Important To Your Health

Last week I attended a Compassion Focussed Therapy (CFT) Workshop facilitated by Dr Paul Gilbert. In the world of psychology, Dr Gilbert is like the what the Rolling Stones are to Pop Music!

Dr Gilbert’s influence on practitioners (e.g. psychologists and coaches) and the general public can’t be overstated through the development of the CFT approach and author of The Compassionate Mind) and countless research articles. 

His work (and the workshop) so inspired me that I will be devoting next three posts on how to cultivate a more compassionate mind. 

This article will focus on why we engage in self-criticism and how to focus and manage the inner critic.

It is a very good question and one that Dr Gilbert has spent 40 odd years investigating and developing (and using) a therapeutic approach to addressing.

Dr Gilbert says that:

“Many people have problems with self-criticism. While there is nothing intrinsically wrong with self-criticism … the key issue is the emotion that goes with it.”

Dr Gilbert gave a great example at the workshop illustrating what goes through the mind when you are self-critical and the power it has on your emotions and body.

“Lets say you are hungry and you see a meal. This will get your saliva and stomach acids going. Equally, if you just fantasized about food it will have the same effect. The image and the real thing will impact and drive the same brain and body systems.”

This is important! Why? It is important to recognise that the real thing and just thinking … fantasizing or imaging it will have the same impact on how your brain and body works.

“By analogy, if you focus on yourself as being no good …. or inadequate … and generating a lot of anger and disappointment towards yourself … that is going to be stimulating your threat system. The problem with people who are self-critical day in day out they are stimulating their ‘threat system.’ 

If this becomes chronic and an enduring pattern, you will be feeling beaten down, harassed and worn down with thoughts of being useless, inadequate and worthless.

Another impact is the increase your cortisol levels which can lead to if prolonged to weight gain … high blood pressure, disrupted sleep … negatively impacted mood … reduced energy levels.

Dr Gilbert makes a distinction between two types of self-criticisms.

One that is based upon frustration and anger towards oneself.

“Another type is compassion self-correction, where we embrace our mistakes as best we are able to … we try to get over the frustration about making the mistake or getting something wrong quickly and focus on what we can learn.”

The opportunity at every moment is to focus on being the best we can as opposed to punishing ourselves and beating ourselves up when things go wrong.

How do you treat yourself is a key mindful process. 

If you are beating on yourself about an error or mistake you are left with two problems.

One, the issue of the error or mistake.

Two, you are now pushing your threat system into over-drive with all this attacking going on … being frustrated and angry with yourself and stimulating like your fantasies discussed earlier impacting on your brain and bodily systems. This increases your cortisol levels and you can potentially get into a loop of self loathing and being stuck in the world of the inner critic

My next post will focus on building the more compassionate self

#selfcompassion #innercritic #mentalwellbeing #depression #anxiety #angry #frustration #compassionfocusedtherapy #therapy