How Do You Know When Your Relationship Is Over?

No one enters a relationship expecting it to end - breakups are difficult, no matter what the reason. But sometimes, a relationship comes to an end because it has simply run its course. Other times, there are warning signs that a relationship is unhealthy or even abusive. And still other times, outside circumstances such as job loss or long-distance can make continuing the relationship untenable. 

Here is a guide to help you determine if your relationship is over.

1. You're not happy

This seems like an obvious one, but it's worth stating anyway. If you're in a relationship and you're not happy, something needs to change. That might mean working on communication, trying new things together, or even going to counselling. But if you've tried all of those things and you're still not happy, it might be time to call it quits.

2. You don't trust each other

Trust is essential for any healthy relationship - if you don't trust your partner, chances are the relationship isn't going to work out in the long run. Trust takes time to build, so if you're in a new relationship this point may not apply to you yet. But if you've been together for a while and there's still no trust, that's a big sign that things aren't going to work out.

3. You're always fighting

All relationships have their ups and downs, but if you find that you're constantly fighting with your partner it might be time to end things. If you're constantly texting each other in a passive-aggressive way, that's not healthy either! Communication is key in any relationship, but if all you ever do is fight it could be time to walk away.

4. You're bored

Relationships should be exciting! If you find yourself feeling bored in your relationship, it might be a sign that it's time to move on. Of course, every relationship goes through phases where things are a little bit mundane but if you find yourself totally uninterested in your partner then it might be time for something new.

5. You have different values

Values are important in any relationship! If you and your partner have different values - for example, one of you wants kids and the other doesn't - this can be tough to overcome. Different values can also refer to things like religion or politics. It's important to have some common ground with your partner but if your values are too different it might be difficult to make the relationship work in the long run.

6. You don't spend any time together anymore

When you first start dating someone new, it's normal to want to spend every waking minute with them! But as the novelty wears off, it's normal for couples to want some time apart. However, if you find that you haven't seen your partner in weeks, or only for a very short amount of time each day, that's definitely a sign that something is wrong. Of course, sometimes outside circumstances such as job loss or long-distance can make continuing the relationship untenable.

 7. Your friends and family don't like them

Friends and family can be great sources of support (and sometimes even wisdom) when it comes to our love lives. If the people who know you best don't like your partner, that's definitely something worth considering. However, it's also important to take into account whether or not your friends and family have actually spent much time with your partner. Sometimes first impressions can be unfair - give things a chance before making any hasty decisions.

8. You just know

Sometimes we just know when something isn't right. Trust your gut! If something feels off, chances are it probably is. At the end of the day, only you and your partner can decide whether or not your relationship is over. But if any (or all) of these signs resonate with you, it might be time to start thinking about calling it quits.

Have you considered couples therapy?

No one enters a into a relationship expecting to break up, but unfortunately it’s just part of life sometimes. By being aware of some of the signs that indicate a relationship might be over, we can make these difficult decisions just a little bit easier.



If you feel that you and your partner would benefit from couples therapy, Your Psychologist in Elsternwick can help. We specialise in a wide range of schema therapy modalities, from relationship therapy and co-dependency counselling, to intimacy problems, anxiety/depression and other negative thought patterns. Get in touch to arrange a one-on-one consultation today.