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Rethinking Mental Health After the Elijah Hollands Incident

Sun, 19 Apr 2026 22:25:46 GMT

Elijah Hollands incident is a reminder that we need to learn to be better at recognising risk and how we talk about mental health

The on-field incident involving Elijah Hollands during the Carlton vs Collingwood match on 16 April 2026 has sparked an important conversation—not just about what happened, but about how we understand, talk about, and respond to mental health in high-pressure environments like elite sport.

The Problem with “Mental Health” as a Catch-All

We use the term “mental health” often—but not always clearly.

Sometimes it refers to everyday experiences like stress or nerves. Other times it refers to more serious conditions that affect how someone thinks, feels, or behaves.

When everything is grouped under one label, it can blur important differences. Not all distress is the same, and not every difficult moment is a clinical issue.

Using clearer, more grounded language helps people better understand what’s actually happening—and respond appropriately.

What We Typically See in Sport

Most mental health challenges in sport are managed quietly and effectively:

Players deal with anxiety, pressure, or emotional strain
They use coping strategies and professional support
These experiences are often not visible during games

That’s why situations that become visible during play stand out—they’re not the norm.

When Something Looks Different

In this case, what drew attention was what appeared to be a noticeable change in behaviour during the game.

Reports and commentary described:

Signs of disorientation
Unusual or unsettled behaviour
Reduced ability to engage in play over a period of time

When something like this occurs, the most important question is not what label to apply, but:

Is the person able to function safely in that moment?

Speculation vs Responsibility

Following incidents like this, two things tend to happen at the same time:

Public speculation increases
Questions about decision-making emerge

There has been a significant amount of discussion about what may have caused the incident. That’s understandable—but it can also be unhelpful.

Without direct knowledge or assessment, it’s not possible to determine what someone was experiencing. Speculating about causes—especially in public—can lead to misunderstanding and may unfairly impact the individual involved.

At the same time, focusing only on why something happened can distract from a more immediate issue:

What was the responsibility in that moment?

Because regardless of cause, when a player appears visibly unable to function as expected, the responsibility shifts to those managing the environment.

Organisations don’t need certainty about the cause to respond—they need to respond to what is in front of them.

A Practical Way to Think About It

Rather than focusing on labels, it can be more useful to think in terms of functioning :

Everyday distress

Stress, anxiety, emotional reactions
People can usually continue performing, even if it’s difficult

Increased difficulty

Noticeable changes in behaviour or concentration
Performance may be affected

Situations requiring immediate attention

Clear signs of confusion, disorientation, or inability to engage
Reduced capacity to perform safely or effectively

The key difference is not what we call it—it’s what the person is able to do in that moment .

Why This Matters in a Game Setting

In elite sport, decisions often come down to a simple question:

Can the player safely continue? We already apply this standard to physical injuries.

If a player is concussed or physically compromised, they are removed from play.

The same principle applies more broadly:
If a player shows signs of being unable to function normally—whatever the reason—this should prompt immediate assessment and consideration of removal from play .

Staying Within What We Know

It’s important to be clear about the limits of public commentary.

Describing what was observable is appropriate.

Explaining why it happened requires information that isn’t publicly available. It is important to make the point here that the Carlton Football Club is best placed to know and act according to the player's wellbeing. There is no assertion here that this was not the case.

Keeping that distinction matters—not just for accuracy, but for fairness.

Professional standards for all health professional including psychologists emphasise assessing the evidence presented, acting in situations at hand to respond to what is happening to their clients in real time.

As well as maintaining clear boundaries, communicating carefully, and avoiding statements that could mislead or go beyond available evidence.

Key Takeaways

1. Avoid speculation about causes

It’s natural, but it can be misleading and unhelpful without full information.

2. Focus on observable behaviour

What can be seen—such as disorientation or inability to engage—is what matters in real time.

3. Responsibility sits with the system

Clubs and organisations are responsible for responding to risk, regardless of cause.

4. Safety should override uncertainty

You don’t need a diagnosis to act—you need enough evidence that something isn’t right.

5. Use clear, grounded language

Describing what happened is more helpful than labelling or guessing.

Final Thought

The Elijah Hollands incident is a reminder that we need to get better at two things:

How we talk about mental health , and
How we respond when something clearly isn’t right

Speculation will always follow moments like this. But the more important question is simpler:

Can we recognise when someone may not be okay—and act quickly to support them?

Getting that right is what ultimately protects players—not just in theory, but in real time.

Case Study: Healing Emotional Disconnection in a Professional Couple Using Schema Therapy and the Gottman Method

Wed, 06 Aug 2025 06:56:06 GMT

A case study outlining how Schema Therapy combined with the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy was used to support a professional couple who are emotional disconnected.

Overview

This case study outlines how Schema Therapy combined with the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy was used to support a professional couple—both lawyers—struggling with emotional disconnection, criticism, and intimacy issues. The therapy was delivered at Your Psychologist Elsternwick , a Melbourne-based psychology clinic known for helping couples navigate complex emotional and relational challenges.

Background of the Couple

Names : Rachel (38) and David (40)
Occupations : Both are full-time lawyers at a leading legal firm in Melbourne
Family : Married for 7 years with two young children (ages 4 and 1)
Presenting Concerns : Emotional disconnection, frequent conflict, diminished intimacy, and lack of support during life transitions

Rachel had recently returned to work after parental leave and felt emotionally overwhelmed and frequently criticized. David described feeling emotionally shut out and unwanted—not just recently, but over several years. They sought relationship counselling at Your Psychologist Elsternwick to help reconnect and resolve underlying emotional issues.

Key Relationship Issues

Emotional disconnection and unmet needs
Criticism, shutdowns, and reactive conflict cycles
Loss of emotional intimacy
Stress related to dual careers and parenting responsibilities.

Schema Therapy Formulation

Rachel’s Core Schemas and Coping Styles:

Schemas : Emotional Deprivation, Enmeshment
Coping Modes : Surrender and Avoidance
Rachel shut down emotionally when feeling overwhelmed or criticized, withdrawing to protect herself.

David’s Core Schemas and Coping Styles:

Schemas : Emotional Deprivation, Defectiveness
Coping Modes : Overcompensation
David became critical and emotionally distant as a way to manage his deeper feelings of loneliness and emotional hunger.

Gottman Method Couples Therapy Integration

During the Gottman relationship assessment process at Your Psychologist Elsternwick , the following patterns were observed:

The Four Horsemen :
Criticism (David)
Defensiveness and Stonewalling (Rachel).

Sound Relationship House Weak Points :
Low emotional attunement (Love Maps)
Decreased fondness and admiration
Missed bids for connection
Lack of shared meaning in the parenting transition.

Therapy Goals

Rebuild emotional safety, empathy, and trust
Interrupt schema-driven dynamics and promote healthy coping
Strengthen emotional communication and conflict repair
Support parenting role rebalancing and personal identity transitions.

Therapeutic Process at Your Psychologist

Phase 1: Schema Awareness and Emotional Insight

Couples were guided through schema mapping and mode identification .
Both were surprised to learn they shared an Emotional Deprivation schema but coped in opposite ways: Rachel through emotional withdrawal, David through overcompensating and criticism.
Gottman’s “Dreams within Conflict” exercise helped identify unmet needs and fears (e.g., David’s need to feel emotionally valued; Rachel’s need for emotional safety and autonomy).

Phase 2: Emotional Reconnection and Mode Healing

David learned to soften his Detached Protector and Over-compensator Modes and access his Vulnerable Child Mode , enabling more authentic emotional sharing.
Rachel was supported in expressing needs without retreating or surrendering to criticism. Her emotional shutdowns were reframed as protective strategies from early enmeshment experiences.

Gottman Interventions Used :

Softened Start-Ups and State of the Union Meetings
Stress-Reducing Conversations and Turning Toward exercises
Love Map rebuilding and rituals of connection.

Phase 3: Role Negotiation and Future Planning

Couples therapy sessions at Your Psychologist Elsternwick focused on redistributing household and parenting responsibilities to reduce stress and resentment.
The couple established new rituals of connection and created flexible boundaries around work and parenting roles.

Outcome After 16 Sessions

Rebuilt emotional trust and increased empathy
Reduced conflict and more effective repair after disagreements
Enhanced intimacy and shared meaning
Improved communication and emotional regulation under stress
Both partners reported renewed confidence in the relationship.

Franco's Insight

This case illustrates the powerful impact of Schema Therapy and Gottman Method integration —especially for professional couples like lawyers, who often suppress emotional needs due to career demands and high-functioning coping styles.

The structured emotional work done at Your Psychologist Elsternwick helped uncover the deeper patterns driving disconnection and gave this couple practical, lasting tools for change.

About Franco Greco and Your Psychologist

Franco Greco is a Clinical and Counselling Psychologist based at Your Psychologist in Elsternwick , Melbourne. He is an Accredited Schema Therapist and is trained in the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy .

Franco specialises in working with professional couples—including lawyers, doctors, and executives —who are navigating life transitions, emotional disconnection, parenting stress, and intimacy challenges.

Need Help Reconnecting in Your Relationship?

If you're a professional couple feeling emotionally disconnected—whether due to parenting, work stress, or long-standing patterns— relationship counselling at Your Psychologist Elsternwick can help .

Contact Franco Greco at Your Psychologist to set up an initial call to discuss how he might you.

Bridging the Divide: Integrating Schema Therapy and Gottman Techniques for High-Conflict Professional Couples

Mon, 16 Jun 2025 23:32:12 GMT

In high-functioning professional couples, it’s not uncommon for conflict to escalate fast—leaving both partners hurt, misunderstood, and emotionally disconnected.

Often, one partner becomes angry and critical , while the other shuts down or defends themselves .

These patterns don’t begin in the relationship—they begin much earlier. Through an integrated approach that combines Schema Therapy and the Gottman Method , we can help couples uncover the emotional roots of their conflict and create lasting change grounded in awareness, empathy, and relational safety.

Schemas and Modes: The Emotional Blueprint Beneath Conflict

In Schema Therapy , we explore how early life experiences—especially with caregivers—shape core emotional beliefs, known as schemas . These schemas influence how we perceive ourselves, others, and relationships.

When triggered in adult relationships, schemas activate modes —parts of ourselves that respond automatically, often in maladaptive ways. Understanding these schemas and modes helps couples stop blaming and start understanding.

The Husband: Angry, Reactive, and Controlling

Likely Core Schemas & Origins:

Emotional Deprivation
Core belief: “My emotional needs will never be met.”
Origin: Grew up with emotionally unavailable or dismissive caregivers who didn’t attune to his feelings.
Defectiveness/Shame
Core belief: “I’m fundamentally flawed or unlovable.”
Origin: Criticism, harsh expectations, or shaming language from parents or authority figures.
Entitlement/Grandiosity (mild)
Core belief: “I’m special, and others should meet my needs.”
Origin: Overindulgence or inconsistent discipline—used to getting needs met without limits.
Unrelenting Standards
Core belief: “I must achieve and perform perfectly to be worthy.”
Origin: Conditional love based on achievement or a highly critical family system.

Common Modes Activated:

Angry Protector : Raises voice, criticises to cover up pain.
“You don’t respect me!”
Overcompensator : Acts superior to avoid vulnerability.
“You wouldn’t last a day doing what I do.”
Vulnerable Child (buried): Feels unworthy, unseen.
Unspoken: “I don’t feel good enough.”
Demanding Parent (internal): Harsh self-talk pushing perfection.
“Weakness is failure.”

The Wife: Defensive, Withdrawn, Emotionally Guarded

Likely Core Schemas & Origins:

Mistrust/Abuse
Core belief: “People will hurt or betray me if I’m vulnerable.”
Origin: Grew up in a volatile, unpredictable, or critical environment—emotional or verbal abuse may have been present.
Subjugation
Core belief: “If I express my needs or opinions, I’ll be punished or abandoned.”
Origin: Caregivers who were controlling or dismissive of her autonomy; encouraged compliance over assertiveness.
Emotional Inhibition
Core belief: “It’s unsafe or shameful to show emotions.”
Origin: Messages like “Don’t cry,” “Be strong,” or emotionally shut-down family dynamics.
Self-Sacrifice
Core belief: “My needs must be put aside for others.”
Origin: Parentified role, being the emotional caretaker or peacekeeper in the family.

Common Modes Activated:

Detached Protector : Emotionally shuts down to avoid conflict.
“Whatever. I don’t care anymore.”
Compliant Surrender : Gives in during arguments but feels resentful.
“Fine. Just do it your way.”
Vulnerable Child : Feels overwhelmed, invisible.
Unspoken: “No one really hears me.”
Punitive Parent (internal): Blames self for being weak or emotional.
“You’re too sensitive.”

When Modes Collide: The Conflict Spiral

When both partners’ schemas are activated, their coping modes clash in a self-reinforcing loop:

His Angry Protector triggers her Detached Protector or Compliant Surrender , confirming his fears of rejection or being ignored.
Her withdrawal confirms his Emotional Deprivation or Defectiveness , so he escalates.
His aggression activates her Mistrust , Subjugation , or Emotional Inhibition , making her withdraw further.

Each partner feels alone in their pain, misunderstood by the other—and stuck.

Where Gottman Tools Come In: Structure + Safety

Schema Therapy provides emotional insight, and the Gottman Method offers structure to manage reactivity and build repair. Together, they empower couples to break the cycle.

1. Managing Flooding: “Stop and Reset”

Recognise when emotions are too high (flooded).
Use a structured time-out : 20–30 minutes apart with calming strategies.
Return with a shared intention to re-engage.

2. “Dreams Within Conflict”

Use this tool to surface core emotional needs beneath the fight.

Example:

He: “When you shut down, it feels like I don’t matter. That taps into my fear that I’m not lovable unless I’m achieving.”
She: “When you get angry, I feel unsafe and silenced. I learned growing up that my voice didn’t matter.”

Schema Therapy supports this by helping each partner name their Vulnerable Child needs and validate each other’s pain without defensiveness.

Repairing from the Healthy Adult Mode

The aim is to help each partner access their Healthy Adult —the grounded, wise, regulated part of themselves that can:

Pause and reflect
Show empathy
Communicate without blame

We practise:

Mode awareness : “I think I just shifted into my protector mode.”
Gottman repair attempts :
“Can I try that again more gently?”
“I shut down because I felt overwhelmed—not because I don’t care.”
“That came from fear, not from truth. I do love you.”

Over time, couples learn to co-regulate , understand each other’s backstories, and re-write the script together.

Healing, Not Just Coping

By integrating Schema Therapy and the Gottman Method, therapy becomes not just about managing conflict—it becomes a space for emotional healing, secure attachment, and relational transformation .

Professional couples, in particular, benefit from this work:

They can connect past patterns with present behaviours.
They value structure and insight.
They want not just peace—but meaningful, mature connection.

About Franco Greco

Franco Greco is a Clinical and Counselling Psychologist at Your Psychologist, Elsternwick. He is an Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist and trained in the Gottman Method for Couples Therapy .

Franco specialises in helping high-functioning and professional couples move from conflict and emotional disconnection to safety, empathy, and sustainable intimacy. His integrative approach honours both the emotional depth and practical tools needed for change

Ready to Reconnect?

If you and your partner are tired of repeating the same painful patterns, therapy can help.

Ring to book a consultation at Your Psychologist, Elsternwick with Franco Greco today.

Discover how understanding your schemas and learning to work with—not against—your emotional wiring can transform your relationship from reactive to resilient.

Schema Therapy Case Study: Overcoming Food Phobia

Mon, 19 May 2025 21:50:00 GMT

Overcoming Food Phobia: How Schema Therapy Helps Heal Deep-Seated Fears and Build a Healthier Relationship with Food

Client Profile

Name: Sarah L. (pseudonym)
Age: 32
Gender: Female
Occupation: Marketing Manager
Marital Status: Single
Presenting Problem: Severe food phobia, emotional distress related to eating, social avoidance, and impaired daily functioning
Therapist: Franco Greco , Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist & Clinical and Counselling Psychologist , Your Psychologist Elsternwick , Victoria.

Presenting Issues

Sarah is a high-achieving marketing manager who has been struggling with severe food phobia for several years. Despite excelling in her career and having a solid social network, her relationship with food is deeply distressed. Sarah experiences overwhelming anxiety at the thought of eating certain foods, particularly those perceived as unhealthy or high in calories. Her fear is not limited to specific foods, but extends to all meals, particularly in social or work-related settings.

Sarah avoids eating in public and often skips meals to avoid the distressing emotions triggered by food. When she does eat, she experiences extreme guilt, leading to cycles of restriction followed by episodes of binge eating. She has adopted rigid eating rules to maintain control, such as categorizing foods as "good" or "bad" and severely restricting her intake of "bad" foods. These behaviors have created a significant barrier in her social and professional life, leading her to withdraw from social gatherings, feeling constantly judged for her eating habits, and avoiding work events involving food.

Her food phobia is compounded by an intense fear of weight gain, which has led to a distorted body image and further reinforcement of her restrictive eating behaviors. Despite her success in other areas of life, Sarah feels trapped by her irrational fear of food, which continues to affect her emotional wellbeing.

Therapeutic Approach: Schema Therapy with Franco Greco

Franco Greco applied Schema Therapy to address the underlying emotional roots of Sarah’s food phobia. Schema Therapy is particularly effective in dealing with deeply ingrained emotional patterns that have developed from early life experiences. As an Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist and Clinical and Counselling Psychologist , Franco uses this approach to help clients like Sarah uncover the schemas (deeply held beliefs) that drive unhealthy coping mechanisms like food phobia.

For Sarah, the goal was to identify and heal her maladaptive schemas and help her develop a healthier relationship with food, one that would allow her to eat with less anxiety and guilt. The treatment also focused on strengthening Sarah’s Healthy Adult mode to support balanced decision-making and emotional regulation.

Early Maladaptive Schemas (EMS) Identified

During therapy, Sarah and Franco identified several key schemas that were contributing to her food phobia:

Emotional Deprivation Schema
Belief: "My emotional needs won’t be met, and I am unworthy of nurturing."
Outcome: Sarah’s food phobia stemmed from an emotional void that she tried to fill by controlling food. Her need to restrict what she ate was a way of coping with feelings of inadequacy and unworthiness, as she felt emotionally deprived.
Unrelenting Standards Schema
Belief: "I must be perfect, including how I eat, or I will be judged and rejected."
Outcome: Sarah’s rigid eating rules and extreme control over her diet were a manifestation of her belief that anything less than perfection—both in her body and in how she ate—was unacceptable. This led to feelings of intense shame and anxiety whenever she ate "imperfectly."
Defectiveness/Shame Schema
Belief: "There is something fundamentally wrong with me."
Outcome: Sarah’s food phobia was driven by her deep sense of shame about her body and eating habits. She believed that if she ate too much or too little, it would confirm her sense of defectiveness, leading to cycles of self-criticism and avoidance of food.
Failure Schema
Belief: "I will inevitably fail and disappoint others."
Outcome: Sarah felt that eating in a socially acceptable way was a measure of success. She feared that failing to control her food would reveal her inner "failure" to others, further isolating her and reinforcing her avoidance.

Schema Modes Identified

Franco also helped Sarah identify the different schema modes she shifted into when dealing with food-related stress:

The Detached Protector Mode
Function: Numbs emotional pain by disconnecting from the emotional experience of eating.
Behavior: Sarah would avoid eating altogether, particularly in social settings, or restrict her intake to an extreme, detaching herself from the discomfort of hunger or the emotional aspects of eating.
The Compliant Surrender Mode
Function: Submits to external pressures, such as others’ expectations around food, but struggles to meet internal emotional needs.
Behavior: During social events, Sarah would eat excessively to avoid judgment or conflict, but this was followed by extreme guilt, feelings of shame, and self-punishment for failing to adhere to her rigid food rules.
The Punitive Parent Mode
Function: Internalized harsh self-criticism, particularly when food-related behaviors are perceived as a failure.
Behavior: After eating, especially after binge eating, Sarah would engage in self-criticism, mentally berating herself for not adhering to her rules. This mode fueled her food phobia and her inability to move forward.
The Vulnerable Child Mode
Function: Holds unmet emotional needs for love, security, and acceptance.
Behavior: Sarah’s food anxiety often came from a sense of vulnerability, feeling that eating was a reflection of her emotional insecurity, leading her to avoid situations where she might feel judged or rejected.
The Healthy Adult Mode (Underdeveloped)
Function: The ability to make balanced, nurturing decisions that promote self-care and emotional regulation.
Goal: Strengthening this mode was essential for Sarah, as it would allow her to manage her food anxieties without resorting to extremes and rebuild a healthier relationship with eating.

Therapeutic Goals

Heal the Emotional Deprivation and Perfectionism Schemas : Work to reduce Sarah’s feelings of emotional emptiness and need for perfectionism in eating behaviors, helping her embrace vulnerability without fear of judgment.
Strengthen the Healthy Adult Mode : Develop Sarah’s internal resources to make balanced, values-based decisions around food, without excessive guilt or anxiety.
Reduce the Impact of Shame and Failure Schemas : Promote self-compassion and understanding to lessen the harsh internal criticism Sarah felt after eating.
Interrupt the Avoidance and Restriction Cycle : Gradually expose Sarah to food-related situations, helping her face the fear of eating in public and at social events.
Establish Healthy Eating Patterns : Rebuild a positive relationship with food through mindful eating practices, helping Sarah enjoy food in a way that nurtures both her body and her emotions.

Key Schema Therapy Techniques Used

Imagery Rescripting – Revisiting early memories to reframe and heal the emotional pain tied to food, eating, and body image.
Chair Work – Facilitating internal dialogue between different modes (e.g., the Punitive Parent, the Vulnerable Child, and the Healthy Adult) to address conflicting emotional states around food.
Mode Dialogues – Helping Sarah explore the emotions and beliefs tied to each schema mode and how they influenced her food-related behaviors.
Cognitive Restructuring – Challenging Sarah’s distorted beliefs around food and body image, helping her recognize that eating is a natural and nurturing act.
Exposure Therapy – Gradually encouraging Sarah to eat in more relaxed and social settings, helping her build tolerance to anxiety-provoking situations.

Outcome After Six Months of Schema Therapy

After six months of Schema Therapy, Sarah made significant progress:

Reduction in Food-Related Anxiety : Sarah experienced less anxiety about eating in social situations and was able to participate in meals with family and friends without feeling overwhelmed by fear.
Improved Relationship with Food : She developed a more flexible and balanced approach to eating, without the extremes of restriction or bingeing. She was able to make food choices based on health and enjoyment, rather than fear or guilt.
Decreased Self-Criticism : Sarah’s inner dialogue became more compassionate. She no longer berated herself after meals, and instead practiced self-compassion when her eating habits deviated from her ideal.
Stronger Emotional Resilience : Sarah was better able to manage her food-related anxiety, facing her vulnerabilities without resorting to avoidance or perfectionism.
Improved Social Engagement : She began attending social events and work-related lunches without the overwhelming anxiety she previously felt around food.

Sarah continues therapy with Franco to consolidate her progress and strengthen her emotional resilience in managing food-related anxieties.

Why These Credentials Matter: Franco Greco’s Expertise

Franco Greco ’s qualifications as an Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist and Clinical and Counselling Psychologist are particularly valuable when working with issues like food phobia, where deeply rooted emotional patterns influence behaviors. Schema Therapy’s focus on uncovering and healing maladaptive schemas allows Franco to help clients like Sarah explore the emotional roots of their phobias and reshape their behaviors with lasting impact.

About Franco Greco

Franco Greco is a Clinical and Counselling Psychologist and Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist practicing at Your Psychologist in Elsternwick , Victoria. He specializes in treating emotional avoidance, eating disorders, phobias, and self-sabotaging behaviors. Franco’s empathetic, structured approach provides clients with the support they need to make meaningful, sustainable changes.

To learn more or book a session with Franco, call him.

Schema Therapy Case Study: Male Executive with Alcohol Dependence

Mon, 12 May 2025 06:48:19 GMT

Treated by Franco Greco – Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist & Clinical and Counselling Psychologist, Your Psychologist Elsternwick

“Schema Therapy case study of a high-functioning male executive struggling with alcohol dependence, treated by Franco Greco, Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist and Clinical and Counselling Psychologist. This case explores the emotional roots of self-soothing behavior, schema modes, and the therapy process guiding long-term recovery.”

Client Profile

Name : James M. (pseudonym)
Age : 45
Gender : Male
Occupation : Senior Financial Consultant
Marital Status : Married, father of two young children
Presenting Problem : Chronic alcohol use, emotional avoidance, marital strain, parental disconnection, and workplace underperformance
Therapist : Franco Greco, Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist & Clinical and Counselling Psychologist, Your Psychologist – Elsternwick, Victoria

Presenting Issues

James is a seasoned financial consultant who presented to therapy during a period of significant personal and professional distress. Despite career success, he found himself emotionally disconnected at home, frequently drinking to numb stress and inner tension. His wife voiced concern about his distance and drinking, and he feared losing touch with his young children.

He described feeling like he was “on autopilot” most evenings—drinking alone, zoning out, and withdrawing emotionally. Previous attempts to moderate his drinking failed, leaving him stuck in a cycle of avoidance, shame, and frustration.

Therapeutic Approach: Schema Therapy with Franco Greco

Franco Greco approached James’s treatment through the lens of Schema Therapy—a model particularly effective for chronic patterns rooted in early emotional experiences. As an Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist and Clinical and Counselling Psychologist , Franco brings a depth of training and experience critical for working with complex emotional presentations, especially where addiction and avoidance are entwined with long-standing schemas.

His dual background allows him to integrate evidence-based techniques (CBT, mindfulness, attachment work) with a nuanced understanding of personality development, trauma, and behavioral change. This was especially important in James’s case, where emotional numbing, shame, and self-soothing were deeply ingrained.

Early Maladaptive Schemas (EMS) Identified

Franco and James identified several core schemas that made James vulnerable to alcohol misuse:

Emotional Deprivation Schema

Belief: “No one truly sees or supports my emotional needs.”
Outcome: Self-soothing through alcohol, emotional disengagement, and avoidance of vulnerability

Failure Schema

Belief: “I don’t measure up—eventually I’ll disappoint everyone.”
Outcome: Overcompensation at work, fear of being exposed, retreat at home

Subjugation Schema

Belief: “My needs don’t matter—I must not upset others.”
Outcome: Suppressed feelings, hidden resentment, and passive coping

Defectiveness / Shame Schema

Belief: “There is something wrong with me.”
Outcome: Self-critical thoughts, guilt after drinking, and low self-worth

Schema Modes Identified

Franco helped James map his emotional “modes” to understand how he shifted into different mental states when under stress:

Detached Self-Soother Mode

Function: Numbs emotional pain through substances or distractions
Behavior: Drinking nightly to escape, binge-watching, avoiding responsibilities

Detached Protector Mode

Function: Avoids painful emotions by withdrawing
Behavior: Emotional shutdown, limited interaction with family

Compliant Surrender Mode

Function: Keeps peace by suppressing personal needs
Behavior: Overextends at work, avoids expressing frustration at home

Punitive Parent Mode

Function: Internalized harsh judgment
Behavior: Shaming self-talk after drinking or perceived failure

Vulnerable Child Mode

Function: Holds unmet needs for love, security, and acceptance
Behavior: Feelings of sadness, rejection, and loneliness—often hidden

Healthy Adult Mode (Underdeveloped)

Function: Grounded decision-making, emotional regulation, and self-care
Goal: Strengthen this mode to manage discomfort without alcohol and repair relationships

Therapeutic Goals

Strengthen the Healthy Adult Mode to provide internal stability and make values-based decisions
Interrupt Detached Self-Soothing by identifying emotional triggers and practicing alternative soothing methods
Heal the Emotional Deprivation Schema using experiential techniques
Reduce internal shame and perfectionism through mode dialogues and self-compassion work
Rebuild emotional connection with his wife and children by cultivating vulnerability and presence
Prevent relapse by replacing reactive drinking patterns with structured behavioral responses

Key Schema Therapy Techniques Used

Imagery Rescripting – Revisiting emotionally significant memories to repair unmet needs and provide inner nurturing through the Healthy Adult
Chair Work – Engaging different parts of the self (e.g., Punitive Parent, Detached Soother, Vulnerable Child) to shift internal dynamics
Mode Journaling – Identifying which mode was activated during drinking urges and what emotion preceded it
Pattern-Breaking Assignments – Practicing evening rituals with family, sober social events, and setting emotional boundaries at work

Outcome After Six Months of Schema Therapy

By the six-month mark, James experienced:

Significant reduction in alcohol use , with weeks of sustained sobriety and fewer relapses
A greater sense of connection and enjoyment in his role as a father and husband
A clearer ability to identify and tolerate emotional triggers
A less punitive inner dialogue , with more supportive self-talk and internal balance
Increased presence and vulnerability , resulting in deeper intimacy and communication at home

James continues therapy with Franco to reinforce new patterns and deepen emotional resilience.

Why These Credentials Matter: Franco Greco’s Unique Expertise

As an Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist and registered Clinical and Counselling Psychologist , Franco Greco brings a rare blend of structured therapeutic skill and deep emotional insight. These qualifications are especially important when working with professionals like James, where surface-level success often masks unresolved emotional pain, early trauma, or deeply rooted maladaptive coping mechanisms.

Schema Therapy requires specialized training to address not just what a person does, but why they feel compelled to repeat harmful patterns—like drinking, withdrawing, or self-sabotage. Franco’s training allows him to navigate these complex layers with precision, compassion, and evidence-based tools that lead to lasting change.

About Franco Greco

Franco Greco is a Clinical and Counselling Psychologist and Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist practicing at Your Psychologist in Elsternwick, Victoria. He is known for his warm, structured, and trauma-informed approach with professionals, executives, and individuals struggling with emotional avoidance, shame, addiction, and inner conflict. His work blends clinical expertise with human connection to help clients create meaningful and sustainable life change.

To learn more or call to book a session with Franco, visit Your Psychologist Elsternwick.

Schema Therapy Case Study: Male Executive with Anger Issues

Mon, 28 Apr 2025 03:57:32 GMT

Treated by Franco Greco – Accredited Schema Therapist, Your Psychologist Elsternwick

"Schema Therapy case study of a male executive with chronic anger, treated by Franco Greco, Accredited Schema Therapist at Your Psychologist Elsternwick. Explore core schemas, modes, and therapy outcomes."

Client Profile

Name: David R. (pseudonym)
Age: 40
Gender: Male
Occupation: Senior Executive in a Technology Firm
Presenting Problem: Chronic anger, emotional reactivity, workplace conflict, strained intimate relationships
Therapist: Franco Greco, Accredited Schema Therapist, Your Psychologist – Elsternwick, Victoria

Presenting Issues

David is a high-performing executive who approached therapy after receiving feedback about his angry outbursts and intimidating communication style. Though highly competent and respected in his industry, he frequently finds himself overwhelmed by frustration, especially when colleagues underperform or when he perceives a lack of respect.

He describes “boiling beneath the surface,” with emotional explosions followed by guilt and confusion. Despite his success, David reports a deep sense of dissatisfaction and emotional disconnection, particularly in his marriage and social life.

Therapeutic Approach: Schema Therapy with Franco Greco

Franco Greco , an Accredited Schema Therapist at Your Psychologist Elsternwick , uses a compassionate yet structured approach that combines cognitive, experiential, and behavioral techniques. His therapy style integrates:

Mode-based schema work to address emotional patterns
Imagery rescripting to heal early trauma and unmet emotional needs
Chair dialogues to transform critical and reactive inner voices
Pattern-breaking strategies to support lasting behavioral change

Franco works collaboratively with clients to understand not just how they behave, but why they respond the way they do — especially under stress or emotional threat.

Early Maladaptive Schemas (EMS) Identified in David

Through assessment and mode work with Franco Greco, several core schemas were identified as driving David’s emotional dysregulation:

Unrelenting Standards / Hypercriticalness Schema

Belief: “I must always perform at the highest level, or I’m not good enough.”
Outcome: Perfectionism, irritability, and harsh self-talk

Mistrust / Abuse Schema

Belief: “People will hurt or take advantage of me if I let my guard down.”
Outcome: Suspicion, defensiveness, and hostile reactions under pressure

Emotional Deprivation Schema

Belief: “No one will truly meet my emotional needs.”
Outcome: Suppressed vulnerability, emotional shutdown, and anger used as protection

Defectiveness / Shame Schema

Belief: “There is something deeply wrong with me.”
Outcome: Inner shame masked by achievement and emotional distancing

Schema Modes Identified

Franco helped David map and understand the schema modes driving his reactivity:

Angry Protector Mode

Function: Shields David from feeling vulnerable or exposed
Behavior: Explosive anger, verbal aggression, controlling tendencies

Detached Protector Mode

Function: Avoids emotional pain
Behavior: Emotional numbing, overworking, withdrawing from intimacy

Demanding Parent Mode

Function: Internalized perfectionism and criticism
Behavior: Harsh inner voice pushing him to “do better” and never be satisfied

Vulnerable Child Mode

Function: Holds unmet emotional needs and fears
Behavior: Deep feelings of inadequacy, sadness, and rejection — often hidden

Healthy Adult Mode (Underdeveloped)

Function: Emotion regulation, balanced thinking, and compassion
Goal: Strengthen this mode to bring balance and reduce schema-driven behavior

Therapeutic Goals with Franco Greco

Strengthen David’s Healthy Adult Mode to manage emotions and support self-validation
Reduce Angry Protector responses by identifying and processing underlying schema triggers
Increase emotional awareness and tolerance
Heal early emotional wounds through imagery rescripting and mode work
Break behavioral patterns that fuel anger, isolation, and emotional avoidance

Key Schema Therapy Techniques Used by Franco Greco

Imagery Rescripting – Revisiting childhood experiences of emotional neglect and introducing the Healthy Adult to meet unmet needs.
Chair Work – Dialogues between David’s Angry Protector, Demanding Parent, and Vulnerable Child to externalize and shift rigid patterns.
Mode Tracking & Journaling – Identifying real-life triggers and automatic responses, with ongoing reflection to reinforce insight.
Pattern Breaking Assignments – Practicing assertive communication and emotional vulnerability in both personal and professional contexts.

Outcome After Six Months of Schema Therapy

Under Franco Greco’s guidance, David reported:

Significant reduction in anger outbursts
Improved relationships with team members and his partner
Increased emotional self-awareness
Ability to pause and reflect before reacting
Emerging compassion for himself and greater tolerance for imperfection

Though still challenged by perfectionism and vulnerability, David has developed a more grounded sense of self and a healthier, more flexible inner voice.

About Franco Greco – Accredited Schema Therapist

Franco Greco is a highly experienced Schema Therapist based at Your Psychologist in Elsternwick , Victoria. He specialises in working with professionals, executives, and individuals facing long-standing emotional patterns like anger, shame, anxiety, and self-criticism. His practice focuses on helping clients heal core schemas and build emotional resilience using evidence-based techniques rooted in Schema Therapy, CBT, and mindfulness.

To learn more or book a session with Franco, visit Your Psychologist Elsternwick

How Schema Therapy Can Help You With Relationship Issues - A Case Study

Sun, 13 Apr 2025 03:14:25 GMT

Are you tired of repeating the same painful patterns in your relationships? Schema therapy can help.

If you've ever felt like your relationships follow a predictable cycle of emotional highs and painful lows, you might be experiencing deep-seated issues that can be addressed through Schema Therapy. This transformative approach can help individuals with relationship difficulties by uncovering hidden emotional patterns and breaking destructive cycles. In this blog post, we’ll walk through a realistic case study to demonstrate how Schema Therapy can be a game-changer for those struggling with relationship issues.

What is Schema Therapy?

Schema Therapy, developed by Jeffrey Young, is an integrative form of therapy that blends elements of cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT), psychodynamic therapy, attachment theory, and emotion-focused therapy. It focuses on early maladaptive schemas—deep-rooted, negative beliefs formed in childhood that shape how we perceive ourselves, others, and the world. These schemas often lead to self-sabotaging behavior in adult relationships.

In relationships, these schemas can manifest in patterns of fear, anxiety, and emotional reactions that don’t serve us well. Schema Therapy aims to identify these patterns and replace them with healthier, more adaptive ways of thinking, feeling, and behaving.

Case Study: Georgia’s Journey with Schema Therapy

Meet Georgia, a 34-year-old woman who came to therapy feeling frustrated and stuck in her romantic relationships. She described how her last three relationships ended in heartbreak—each one following a similar pattern: she would become intensely attached to her partner early on, become overly accommodating, and then feel devastated when her partner became distant or withdrew.

Here’s a deeper look into Georgia’s emotional struggles and how Schema Therapy helped her break free from these repetitive relationship issues.

Georgia’s Background:

Growing up, Georgia faced emotional challenges. Her father was emotionally distant and often absent, while her mother was loving but overwhelmed by her own struggles. As a result, Georgia learned early on to suppress her emotional needs in order to avoid rejection and abandonment.

This experience set the stage for early maladaptive schemas that would later impact her adult relationships.

Schemas Identified in Georgia’s Case:

In therapy, Georgia and Franco Greco, her psychologist and Accredited Schema Therapist from Your Psychologist Elsternwick , uncovered several key schemas contributing to her relationship struggles:

Abandonment/Instability Schema : Georgia had a deep fear that the people she loved would leave her, which led to intense anxiety and clinginess in her relationships.
Emotional Deprivation Schema : Georgia believed her emotional needs would never be fully met, which caused her to feel lonely and unworthy of love.
Subjugation Schema : In an attempt to avoid conflict and gain approval, Georgia often suppressed her own needs to please her partners.
Defectiveness/Shame Schema : Georgia felt that something was inherently wrong with her—leading her to feel unlovable, which caused her to overcompensate in relationships.

These schemas created a cycle of anxiety, fear, and disappointment in her romantic life.

Schema Modes at Play:

Through Schema Therapy , Franco helped Georgia to also begin to recognise the schema modes she shifted into when triggered in her relationships.

Franco had a simple and straightforward forward way of explaining schema modes to Georgia. She was able to understand that there are a team of different characters inside her head. Each one shows up when you're feeling something big — like super sad, mad, or scared. These characters are called modes. Sometimes they help you, and sometimes they don’t like:

Vulnerable Child Mode : When her partner became distant or withdrew, Georgia felt overwhelmed with sadness and fear, triggering feelings of abandonment from childhood.
Compliant Surrenderer Mode : Georgia often put her partner’s needs first, even if it meant neglecting her own, in an attempt to maintain harmony and avoid rejection.
Detached Protector Mode : After a breakup, Georgia would emotionally shut down and convince herself she didn’t care, using detachment as a way to avoid vulnerability.
Punitive Parent Mode : Georgia’s internalised voice often berated her, calling herself “clingy” or “too much,” which deepened her feelings of shame.

How Schema Therapy Helped Georgia

Psychoeducation : Georgia’s therapist introduced her to the concept of schemas, which helped her understand how early life experiences shaped her emotional responses in relationships. This knowledge allowed Georgia to separate herself from the problem, reducing self-blame and shame.
Experiential Work (Imagery Rescripting) : A key component of Schema Therapy is revisiting childhood memories. Through guided imagery, Georgia was able to confront past experiences where her emotional needs were unmet. She learned to provide comfort and self-compassion to her “inner child,” which helped heal the emotional wounds that had been carrying over into her adult relationships.
Mode Work : Franco helped Georgia to identify and manage her schema modes. Whenever she felt triggered, Georgia learned to activate her Healthy Adult Mode—a balanced, grounded part of herself that could manage emotions without being overwhelmed by past wounds. This mode allowed her to set healthier boundaries and express her needs in a balanced way.
Behavioral Change : In addition to emotional processing, Georgia started to make concrete behavioral changes in her dating life. She took things slow, communicated her emotional needs clearly from the beginning, and practiced self-validation when anxiety surfaced. Georgia also became more discerning in choosing partners who were emotionally available and respectful of her boundaries.

Outcome: A Healthier Relationship Dynamic

After 12 months of Schema Therapy , Georgia reported significant improvements in her emotional well-being and romantic life. She was able to enter a new relationship with someone who was emotionally supportive and stable. She noticed when old fears began to surface and was able to ground herself by using tools from therapy. Instead of panicking or overcompensating, she was able to manage her emotions more effectively.

Georgia shared, “For the first time, I feel like I’m in charge of how I love—not just reacting to old wounds.”

Why Schema Therapy Works for Relationship Issues

Schema Therapy is particularly effective for people with relationship struggles because it addresses the root causes of emotional patterns. By working through early maladaptive schemas and changing schema modes, individuals can learn to:

Break free from unhealthy relationship patterns
Build stronger emotional boundaries
Develop healthier coping strategies for emotional triggers
Cultivate a Healthy Adult Mode to navigate difficult emotions
Foster healthier, more fulfilling relationships.

Takeaway: Is Schema Therapy Right for You?

If you’re tired of feeling stuck in the same cycle of emotional pain and frustration in your relationships, Schema Therapy could be the solution you need. By uncovering and addressing the core emotional issues that drive your relationship patterns, you can heal from past wounds and create more balanced, fulfilling connections in the future.

Are you ready to break free from relationship struggles?

Consider exploring Schema Therapy with a trained and accredited schema therapist like Franco to see how it can help you build healthier, more meaningful relationships.

What Part of My Nervous System is Activated When I Experience Anxiety

Thu, 10 Apr 2025 03:44:05 GMT

When experiencing anxiety, the sympathetic nervous system, part of the autonomic nervous system, is activated, initiating the "fight-or-flight" response, which prepares the body for action.

Sympathetic Nervous System Activity Connects To Your Anxiety

The sympathetic nervous system (SNS) is one of two branches of the autonomic nervous system (ANS) , which controls involuntary bodily functions like heart rate, digestion, and respiratory rate. The SNS is specifically responsible for the body's "fight-or-flight" response , which is an evolutionary adaptation that prepares the body to deal with perceived threats or danger.

Managing Overactive Sympathetic Nervous System Activity

Managing an overactive sympathetic nervous system through activating the parasympathetic system through:

Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, yoga, and progressive muscle relaxation can help activate the parasympathetic nervous system , which is the body's "rest and digest" system. This counters the fight-or-flight response, helping you calm down and return to a more balanced state.
Mindfulness practices and exercise can also help regulate the body's stress response over time.

Reach out if you need help

Schema Therapy for Professionals with Depression: A Comprehensive Guide

Sun, 06 Apr 2025 10:13:57 GMT

Schema Therapy is highly effective for professionals struggling with depression.

Schema Therapy is highly effective for professionals struggling with depression . It addresses deep-seated, often unconscious beliefs and patterns that contribute to a depressive mindset. Professionals often face high expectations, perfectionism, or a constant fear of failure, exacerbating feelings of worthlessness and depression. Schema Therapy helps identify, challenge, and reframe negative schemas, offering healthier ways to cope and rebuild self-esteem. ( 1 )

Case Example: Gemma, a Marketing Executive

Client : Gemma (name has been changed), 34 years old

Occupation : Marketing Executive at a major corporation

Presenting Issue : Gemma has been feeling increasingly depressed over the last few years, especially at work. Despite her professional success, she feels overwhelmed by an underlying sense of failure and believes she is never good enough. She often feels sad, unmotivated, and finds it hard to find joy in her achievements. Her depression affects her performance, relationships, and overall well-being.

Step 1: Identifying Maladaptive Schemas

In Schema Therapy , Gemma works with Franco Greco, Your Psychologist Elsternwick , an Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist to identify schemas contributing to her depression. They uncover core schemas such as:

Defectiveness/Shame Schema : Gemma believes she is fundamentally flawed or inferior to others, a belief formed during her childhood. Her parents were emotionally distant and critical, leading her to internalize the idea that she wasn’t good enough. This deep sense of shame affects her in both personal and professional settings.
Failure Schema : Gemma has an intense fear of failure despite her accomplishments. She feels she must be perfect in her work to be seen as successful and worthy. This pressure exhausts her and fuels her depression.
Emotional Deprivation Schema : Gemma didn’t receive much emotional nurturing or support from her parents, leading to feelings of emptiness and emotional neglect.

Step 2: Exploring the Origins of the Schemas

Gemma and Franco explore the origins of these schemas. Her parents were often critical of her academic performance and emotionally unavailable, leading her to suppress her emotions to avoid disappointment or criticism. She developed a belief that she had to be perfect to gain approval and avoid feelings of inadequacy.

Step 3: Challenging Negative Beliefs

With Franco’s guidance, Gemma works on challenging the negative beliefs tied to her depression:

Defectiveness/Shame Schema : Gemma realises her feelings of shame stem from childhood experiences and not her true value. She learns that imperfections are part of being human and making mistakes does not make her inherently flawed.
Failure Schema : Gemma reframes her perfectionism, understanding that her worth isn’t based solely on achievement. She learns that failure is a natural part of life and an opportunity for growth.
Emotional Deprivation Schema : Gemma recognises her emotional needs are valid and seeks emotional support from others. She learns that connecting with others on a deeper level is crucial for her well-being.

Step 4: Experiential Techniques to Heal Emotional Wounds

Franco works deeply with Gemma in healing her emotional wounds by using experiential techniques ( 2 ) like imagery rescripting and chair work to address deep emotional pain linked to her schemas:

Imagery Work: Franco helps Gemma to connect a present experience at work with a negative childhood experience through engaging in a float back to her younger self (Gemma’s Sad Child). Through helping Gemma develop her Healthy Adult, Gemma was able to offer the young Gemma the love, compassion, and reassurance she didn’t receive as a child to process old emotional wounds.
Chair Work: Franco helped Gemma separate out her Child Mode (sad and depressed Gemma), her Parent/Critic Mode (the critical and demanding parent voice that represents the way she talks negatively to herself)) and her Coping Mode (the Detached Avoidant Gemma). Gemma engages in a conversation between her "Depressed Self" and her "Healthy Adult Self," strengthening her inner resources and challenging negative beliefs and voices of the Critic/Parent Mode.

Step 5: Building Healthier Coping Mechanisms

Through Schema Therapy, Franco is able to engage in what is called limited re-parenting ( 3 ) - where the therapist provides a nurturing, supportive, and caring relationship to the patient in a way that addresses unmet emotional needs from childhood.

This created the environment for Gemma to engage in her new coping strategies to manage emotional distress. In therapy, Franco teaches Gemma:

Mindfulness and Grounding Techniques: Gemma practices mindfulness to stay present and avoid negative thoughts.
Cognitive Restructuring: Gemma replaces negative thought patterns with balanced perspectives.
Self-Compassion and Self-Care: Gemma practices self-compassion and creates a healthier work-life balance.

Step 6: Behavioural Strategies to Overcome Avoidance and Isolation

Franco also helps Gemma to confront her avoidance behaviours:

Scheduling regular social activities to combat isolation.
Re-engaging in activities she once enjoyed.
Setting manageable goals at work to combat perfection.

Step 7: Long-Term Maintenance and Relapse Prevention

Franco finally works with Gemma to create a maintenance plan for long-term emotional health. They discuss strategies to recognise early signs of depression and manage it before it escalates.

Outcome

As Gemma continues with Schema Therapy, she experiences a significant reduction in depressive symptoms. Her self-esteem improves, and she feels more confident in her abilities. She reconnects with her emotional needs, seeking healthy ways to meet them, and learns to balance high standards with self-compassion. Ultimately, she feels more fulfilled both professionally and personally.

How Schema Therapy Helps Professionals with Depression

Identifies underlying schemas that fuel depression.
Helps clients understand the origins of these schemas.
Challenges negative beliefs about self-worth and success.
Uses experiential techniques to heal emotional wounds.
Develops healthier coping strategies.
Builds resilience and a healthier mindset.

Franco Greco from Your Psychologist Elsternwick is an Internationally Accredited Schema Therapist . He provides a structured, effective way for professionals with depression to confront deep-rooted beliefs and emotional wounds, allowing them to regain control and achieve a healthier, more balanced life.

Reach out to Franco today

Moving From Despair To Hope

Wed, 02 Apr 2025 04:10:37 GMT

My Reflection After Seeing the Film, The Correspondent

On 31 March 2025, I attended the Q&A and Special Introduction preview screening of the the film, The Correspondent.

Based on the true story of Australian war correspondent Peter Greste's imprisonment in Egypt in 2013. Staring the Australian actor Richard Roxburgh who plays Peter Greste.

I share my reflections on the film's central issue of injustice and how Peter moves constantly between despair and hope.

I talk about what psychologist Martin Seligman and neuroscientist Steven Maier discovered called the “hope circuit” in the brain. They highlight that optimism can be learned. Pessimism and helplessness are default responses to stress, but by practicing optimism, we can “light up” this hope circuit in the medial prefrontal cortex.

Franco Greco

Your Psychologist Elsternwick

2nd Five in Five Series on Key Client Questions About Therapy- Couples Therapy (Part 2)

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 06:54:25 GMT

Franco Greco answers key questions clients ask about couple's therapy

This is the 2nd in my Five in Five Series on Key Client Questions About Therapy.

Today I am responding to key client questions about Couples Therapy (Part 2).

You can see it on the Your Psychologist YouTube Channel

www.yourpsychologist.net.au

#couplestherapy

#yourpsychologist

Five in Five Series - Key Questions Clients Have About Couples Therapy (Part 1)

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 06:50:18 GMT

Franco Greco answers key questions clients ask about couple's therapy

This is the first in my Five in Five - Key Client Questions About Therapy.

Today I am responding to key client questions about Couples Therapy.

Franco Greco, Your Psychologist

www.yourpsychologist.net.au

#yourpsychologist

#marriage

#coupletherapy

Franco Greco Your Psychologist Elsternwick Consulting Rooms

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 06:44:48 GMT

Franco Greco Founder and Principal Psychologist of Your Psychologist Elsternwick givng a tour of his consulting rooms

Case Study of Alison: A Professional with Social Anxiety

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 05:13:12 GMT

Helping Professionals with Social Anxiety Using Schema Therapy

Alison [name changed for anonymity] is a 29 years old commercial lawyer.

She feels anxious and inferior in social situations.

In my our first session, Alison tells me that she is unhappy with her social life. Ever since she has finished university and started work, she has had trouble meeting people.

On one level, it surprises me that she is anxious in social situations as she is very personable. However, I am reminded that a person is not necessarily the same in the therapy session as they are in social situations.

Exploring this further, Alison revealed that she avoids most social situations as they make her too anxious. She often can’t think about what to say and says stupid things. She considers herself as unattractive and does not expect men to be sexually attracted to her. Once again, I am surprised, as Alison is quite pretty.

With all my clients, I ask them to complete Schema Questionnaires.

Undertaking a Schema Questionnaire, Alison scored high in the Social Isolation Schema. She feels inferior in social situations, and consequently experiences a great deal of social anxiety. This anxiety comes from feelings of loneliness and inferiority. She constantly compares herself to other people … they are better looking … more interesting … smarter. She often feels this when she is in conversation … when she feels inhibited.

Alison is experiencing performance anxiety … it makes her feel socially awkward. Although she has good social skills when she is comfortable … in most situations she is too nervous … she loses her poise … she becomes shy and withdrawn.

Often psychologist who work with clients presenting with social anxiety … seek to address the anxiety through changing thoughts and behaviour. This can helpful. I wanted to go deeper to the root cause of Alison’s social anxiety – her Social Isolation Schema.

Social Isolation Schema refers to the belief that one is isolated from the world, different from other people, and/or not part of any community. This belief is usually caused by early experiences in which children see that either they, or their families, are different or inferior from other people.

Alison reported that as a child she was fat … and disgusting. Kids would make fun of her. As she got older and lost weight … and went to university she was had her first date with a boy. She reported that she compensated for this social exclusion by excelling at school and university. She developed an Unrelenting Standards Schema. /This schema refers to the belief that whatever you do is not good enough, that you must always strive harder. The motivation for this belief is the desire to meet extremely high internal demands for competence, usually to avoid internal criticism.

We discussed the Alison tries to cope with her anxiety. She tends to escape or avoid activities or situations that make her anxiety triggered by vulnerable child mode. Schema avoidance refers to the ways in which people avoid activating schemas. As mentioned earlier, when schemas are activated, this causes extreme negative emotion. often act in such a way as to avoid situations that trigger schemas, and thus avoid psychological pain. Alison often acts in such a way as to avoid situations that trigger schemas, and thus avoid psychological pain by not attending work social or networking events. This limits her professionally and socially.

In schema therapy, I worked with Alison to:

Identify schemas and schema modes;
Identify and address coping styles that get in the way of her emotional needs not being met;
Change her patterns of feelings and behaviours that result from schemas;
Learn how to get her core emotional needs met in healthy more adaptive ways; and
Learn how to cope (in a healthy way) with frustration and distress when certain needs can’t be met.

What was helpful for Alison was developing a flashcard for when she was experiencing anxiety in social occasions.

I know that right now I feel anxious, as if everyone is looking at me. I feel like I can’t talk to anyone. But it is my Social Isolation Schema being triggered. If I look around, I will see that people are not looking at me. And even if someone is, it probably a friendly look. If I start talking to people, in a little while my anxiety will grow less. People can’t really tell I’m anxious. Besides, other people are anxious too. Everyone is a little anxious in social situations. I can start by relaxing my body, looking around the room, and finding one person to talk to.

Alison’s journey to managing her social anxiety began from moving from loneliness to connection. Alison is now dating, enjoying herself at social functions, going out more regularly and is not able to engage at work.

Schema Therapy for Professionals with Workplace Uncertainty: A Comprehensive Guide

Tue, 01 Apr 2025 05:06:16 GMT

Helping Professionals with Workplace Uncertainty Using Schema Therapy

In this case study, we examine a professional — named Julia (named changed to maintain anonymity) — who is facing significant workplace uncertainty due to a sudden and immediate organisational and management changes. Julia is an experienced project manager in a technology company that has recently gone through a merger, leading to restructuring and unclear role expectations. As a result, Julia feels increasingly anxious and uncertain about her career future. Alongside job insecurity, Julia struggles with feelings of vulnerability, stemming from past experiences where she felt emotionally exposed and unable to protect herself in various situations.

Presenting Issue

Julia reports significant stress and anxiety due to the unpredictable nature of her workplace. She is uncertain about her future at her work. She is increasingly questioning her performance and decisions. Additionally, she feels emotionally exposed and vulnerable due to the lack of clear communication from her manager and senior management. Julia has a history of personal experiences where she felt unsupported, which worsens her emotional reactions at work. She reports often feeling overwhelmed, and fearing that this insecurity about her performance will lead to failure or being overlooked or loss of employment.

Schema Therapy Approach

By using Schema Therapy, Franco Greco from Your Psychologist Elsternwick aims to help Julia identify and shift long standing and ingrained patterns (schemas) that negatively affect her thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. Franco identifies early in the sessions that the Vulnerability to Harm or Illness schema is the primary schema impacting her ability to cope with workplace uncertainty. This schema, along with other related schemas, plays a crucial role in her emotional struggles.

Your Psychologist Elsternwick - Assessment Phase

Franco engages in a thorough Assessment Phase in the first few sessions.

He explores Julia’s personal history, identifying key schemas that are contributing to her current feelings of vulnerability and workplace anxiety.
Through interviews and questionnaires, the following schemas are identified:

Vulnerability to Harm or Illness Schema : Julia has a strong belief that something bad will happen to her (e.g., job loss, failure), leading to excessive worry about the future. This schema was developed during childhood due to an unpredictable home environment where Julia often feared illness or family disruptions.
Abandonment/Instability Schema : Julia has experienced emotional abandonment in the past, particularly during her childhood when key caregivers were emotionally unavailable. This schema is triggered by workplace instability and changes in leadership, leading Julia to fear being left behind or unsupported.

Your Psychologist Elsternwick – Cognitive Restructuring

Franco helps Julia understand the key schemas and changing maladaptive thought patterns that reinforce unhealthy schemas. He also helps Julia recognise the impact of the Vulnerability to Harm or Illness Schema on her responses to workplace uncertainty:

Vulnerability Schema : Julia is encouraged to examine how true are her fears. While it’s natural to feel uncertainty in the face of organisational change, her belief that something catastrophic is imminent (e.g., job loss or failure) is disproportionate. Franco works with Julia to develop a more balanced perspective, where she can acknowledge potential risks but also understand that the worst-case scenario is unlikely and often more manageable than she believes.

This also reveals that Julia has also Abandonment Schema

Abandonment Schema : Julia is guided to challenge her fears of abandonment, specifically how the restructuring or management changes (losing a supportive manager) doesn’t mean that she has been left behind. Franco (who has experience working in large organisations prior to becoming a psychologist) works with Julia to recognise that organisational change is common in professional settings and doesn’t automatically mean personal rejection or abandonment.

Your Psychologist Elsternwick – Emotional Processing Through Experiential Interventions

Franco as an experienced and Accredited Schema Therapist understands that because Julia’s schemas are so ingrained from childhood that she needs to help her connect with, understand, and transform deep emotional wounds linked to past experiences.

Franco uses imagery rescripting – a key experiential interventions in Schema Therapy. It involves helping clients revisit and reframe distressing memories or imagery that are connected to their schemas.

Application: Franco guides Julia to connect her current feelings and emotions at work to past situations where she felt vulnerable or abandoned, such as early childhood events when she felt emotionally unsupported. Julia recalls specific moments when she felt exposed or unable to protect herself from emotional harm from her father. This helps her explain her losing supportive female manager and being replaced by a male manager was so devastating for her.
Process: During a number of sessions, Julia is asked to reimagine this early childhood experiences with her father leaving her, her mother and younger sister and putting them at risk and financial vulnerability. With Franco’s hlp she envisions her adult self helping her younger self and breaking the cycle of learned helplessness. This was initially with Franco coming in as a father figure and healthy adult that redress and rescript the story of the wounding the absent father. To reassure that everything will be ok and safe. And that she is not alone. This provides the modelling for a healthy adult version of Julia to take charge and comfort and reassure the vulnerable and abandoned little Julia.
Outcome: This process helps Julia reframe her emotional response to uncertainty, moving from one of helplessness and fear to one of self-empowerment and resilience. By reimagining how she could have responded differently in the past, Julia learns to respond more adaptively in the present.

For Julia, this means addressing the emotional pain from her childhood, which contributes to her Vulnerability Schema and sense of insecurity.

Julia is encouraged to explore how her childhood fears of unpredictability and exposure to emotional neglect shaped her beliefs about vulnerability. This work helps her separate past emotional experiences from present-day circumstances.
Franco helps Julia identify feelings of helplessness and powerlessness that arise from her workplace fears, and teaches her how to respond to these emotions in more adaptive ways.

Your Psychologist Elsternwick – Limited Reparenting

As an experienced Accredited Schema Therapist, Franco also uses limited reparenting – where he takes on the role of a supportive, nurturing figure to reparent the Julia by offering compassion, empathy, and validation that was missing in her formative experiences.

Application: Julia's Abandonment/Instability Schema lead her to feel unsupported, especially during times of workplace uncertainty. Franco offered a nurturing, validating, and supportive role that hr father didn’t reassuring Julia that she is capable of managing workplace changes and that she deserves care and attention, even if her workplace or past experiences lacked this. Also that she trust male role models or males in general in her life.
Process: During sessions, Franco provided Julia with statements of emotional validation, similar to what a supportive parent or mentor might say. Also asking her about interpersonal reflections about how she felt in the session with a male therapist. What this brought up for her.
Outcome: Limited reparenting provided Julia with the emotional support she didn’t receive in childhood and helped her internalise a nurturing, self-compassionate male voice. Over time, Julia learns to comfort herself in moments of vulnerability and uncertainty, reinforcing her self-worth and capacity for self-care.

Your Psychologist Elsternwick - Behavioural Interventions

Franco also helps Julia to challenge and modify the behavioural patterns that reinforce Julia's unhelpful schemas, by encouraging Julia to engage in experiments that counteract her fears and anxieties:

Coping with Uncertainty: Julia is asked to take small, gradual steps to manage her work-related anxiety. For example, she might set short-term goals, communicate openly with her manager about her concerns, and actively seek feedback. These actions test her belief that uncertainty leads to catastrophic outcomes.
Managing Vulnerability: Julia is encouraged to express her feelings of uncertainty with trusted colleagues or mentors, instead of withdrawing. She practices vulnerability in a safe environment to test her belief that exposing her emotions will lead to rejection or failure.

Your Psychologist Elsternwick - Developing Healthier Coping Strategies

As Julia progresses in therapy, Franco educates and helps Julia to develop further her Healthy Adult by learning practical coping skills to manage her anxiety and vulnerability more effectively:

Mindfulness and Stress Reduction : Julia learns mindfulness techniques, deep breathing exercises, and grounding practices to help manage the emotional intensity of workplace uncertainty.
Self-Compassion : Julia works on developing a kinder, more compassionate relationship with herself. She practices self-acceptance, recognizing that it is normal to feel vulnerable or anxious in uncertain times but that she is still capable of navigating these challenges.
Building Resilience and Confidence : A key focus in Schema Therapy is helping Julia build her emotional resilience. As Julia challenges her vulnerability and abandonment schemas, she begins to develop greater confidence in her ability to cope with uncertainty and change. Over time, she becomes more comfortable embracing ambiguity and handling workplace changes without fear of collapse or failure.

Outcome

As a result of Schema Therapy, Julia experiences several positive changes in how she perceives and responds to workplace uncertainty:

Decreased Anxiety and Vulnerability : Julia reports feeling less overwhelmed by feelings of vulnerability. While she still experiences some anxiety about the future, she no longer views it as a catastrophic threat.
Improved Emotional Regulation : Julia becomes more adept at managing her emotions in the face of uncertainty. She uses mindfulness and self-compassion techniques to handle workplace stress more effectively.
Greater Confidence in Decision-Making : Julia’s belief in her own ability to navigate challenges improves. She starts to trust her instincts and judgment, allowing her to make decisions without excessive worry about potential failure.
Improved Relationships at Work : Julia’s ability to communicate more openly with colleagues and supervisors improves, helping her feel more connected and supported at work.

Conclusion

This case study illustrates how Schema Therapy can be an effective approach for addressing workplace uncertainty, especially when a Vulnerability Schema is involved.

By helping Julia challenge, repair and reset her deep-seated fears of vulnerability and abandonment, Franco enabled her to develop healthier coping strategies and emotional resilience.

Julia learned to manage her anxiety, build self-confidence, and navigate workplace challenges with greater ease by developing a Healthy Adult version of Julia.

This process not only helped her cope with the current work environment but also laid the foundation for future professional growth and emotional well-being.

If you have a similar experience like Julia, Franco Greco from Your Psychologist Elsternwick is here to help you today.

My Partner's Sleep Is Impacting on Our Relationship

Mon, 17 Mar 2025 05:52:08 GMT

It is increasingly becoming a common problem and can be addressed with save a relationship.

Sleeping apart from your party is increasing

The recent ResMed 2025 Sleep Survey ( https://document.resmed.com/documents/global/resmed-wsd-2025-report.pdf ) provides a snapshot of how people around the world sleep.

In Australian specific respondents reported that 83% say their partner say their partner disrupts their sleep, with 11% saying this disruption was nightly.

Up 14% of Australian couples sleep apart every night. 31% sleep apart at least once a month to improve their sleep and rest.

Moira Junge, Sleep Psychologist and CEO of Sleep Health Foundation reports in The Australian (17 March 2025) that these findings are concerning and align with her understanding of sleep problems, where this leads to intimacy issues as couples find ways to manage sleep deprivation and distress associated with sleep deprivation.

"I think people can feel really isolated ... they think they're the only ones going through it."

ResMed 2025 Sleep Survey report that:

Many couples are opting for separate sleeping arrangements, known as a “sleep divorce,” to improve their rest.
Three in ten (32%) cite their partner’s snoring, loud breathing, or gasping for air—symptoms often associated with sleep apnea—as major disruptions.
Older generations are more likely to report sleeping apart and more likely to cite these symptoms as keeping them up at night.

As reported by ResMed 2025 Sleep Survey report:

Sleeping Apart Can Have Benefits?

"For people who’ve chosen separate sleeping arrangements, many report better sleep quality and either an improved or stable relationship, including their sex life. However, it’s worth considering the broader health and emotional benefits of sharing a bed with a partner.

In The Long Term There Are Negative Impacts

Sleeping next to a partner triggers the release of oxytocin, often referred to as the “love hormone.” An article presented in the journal Sleep revealed that couples who sleep together experience lower levels of depression, anxiety, and stress, as well as higher satisfaction with life and their relationship."

Why do people experience sleep problems?

Based on the ResMED 2025 Sleep Survey report, the 5 top contributions to sleep problems include: stress, anxiety, financial pressures, mental health issues and family and relationship issues.

The report staggeringly found that up to 41% of Australians do not seek help for poor sleep and would just live with it. This the highest rate of all countries.

Addressing Sleep Issues

There are so many benefits in addressing sleep issues. In my practice, I help clients in improving their sleep in addressing a range of presenting issues, including depression, anxiety, stress and relationship problems.

In my article Highly Effective Insomnia Therapists in Elsternwick https://www.yourpsychologist.net.au/insomnia I outline a variety of techniques for helping people with insomnia.

Reach out to me through my website www.yourpsychologist.net.au if you wish to explore how I might help.

Finding purpose in the second half of life

Wed, 04 Sep 2024 00:49:03 GMT

The second half of life often brings a mix of excitement and uncertainty. As you navigate through significant life changes—retirement, children leaving home, or even shifts in health—it's common to feel a bit lost. You might wonder, "What now?" This period can be a powerful opportunity to rediscover or even redefine your purpose. Finding new meaning in your life can profoundly impact your happiness and mental health, offering a renewed sense of direction and fulfilment.

The psychological impact of life transitions

Life transitions, especially those that mark the second half of life, can be emotionally complex. Retirement might leave you feeling unmoored without the routine and purpose your career provided. The departure of children from the family home can create an unexpected emptiness, and changes in health or the loss of loved ones can bring on feelings of vulnerability or grief.

These transitions can significantly impact your mental well-being. It's not uncommon to experience anxiety, depression, or a general sense of being stuck. The good news is that finding a new purpose can help counter these feelings, as a sense of purpose can improve mental health, increase life satisfaction, and provide a buffer against the stresses and challenges of aging.

Reflecting on your life journey

One of the most effective ways to find new purpose is through self-reflection. Taking time to look back on your life, your achievements, and even your setbacks, can provide valuable insights into what truly matters to you. Journaling is a helpful tool here—writing down your thoughts can clarify your feelings and highlight patterns or passions that have been consistent throughout your life.

Mindfulness practices can also be beneficial, helping you to stay present and connected to your experiences. Speaking with a counsellor can offer another layer of support, guiding you through your reflections and helping you identify what might bring you fulfilment in this next chapter.

Embracing change and redefining purpose

Change is an inevitable part of life, especially as you age. Embracing this change is crucial to finding new purpose. It's about shifting your perspective—seeing this stage of life not as an ending, but as a new beginning filled with opportunities for growth.

Consider exploring new activities that align with your passions. Whether it’s volunteering, pursuing a long-held hobby, or even starting a part-time job in a new field, these activities can inject a sense of purpose into your daily life. Setting realistic goals that reflect your current values and circumstances can also provide direction. For example, if you've always loved helping others, perhaps mentoring or coaching could be your next step.

Practical steps to finding your new purpose

Start by engaging in activities that bring you joy and fulfilment. Joining community groups, pursuing creative interests, or mentoring others are all excellent ways to cultivate a sense of purpose. Building a strong support network is equally important—surround yourself with friends, family, or even a therapist who can support you through this journey.

Ongoing self-care is another essential aspect of maintaining purpose. Taking care of your physical and mental health ensures that you have the energy and resilience needed to pursue new goals. Regular exercise, a balanced diet, and mindfulness practices can all contribute to a strong foundation as you navigate this period of change.

Finding purpose in the second half of your life is not just about filling time; it’s about creating a life that feels meaningful and fulfilling. By reflecting on your life, embracing change, and taking practical steps toward new goals, you can rediscover or redefine your purpose in ways that bring joy and satisfaction.

Exploring the Depths of the Mind: An Introduction to Jungian Psychology

Thu, 01 Aug 2024 01:39:46 GMT

Understanding Jungian Psychology

Jungian psychology, a branch of psychotherapy founded by Carl Jung, delves deep into the complexities of the human psyche. This therapeutic approach is characterised by its focus on the integration of the conscious and unconscious aspects of our minds. Central to Jungian theory are concepts such as archetypes, the collective unconscious, and the process of individuation, all of which aim to harmonise these elements of the self for holistic healing.

At the heart of Jungian psychology lies the belief that true personal growth and healing come from a deep understanding and reconciliation of these internal forces. Techniques like dream analysis, shadow work, and active imagination are tools used in therapy to help individuals explore their unconscious, revealing and resolving hidden conflicts and forgotten experiences.

Jungian Psychology in Practise

Jungian therapy proves particularly beneficial for individuals facing existential crises, undergoing significant life transitions, or grappling with a sense of stagnation. This form of therapy assists individuals in understanding and integrating the different aspects of their personality, promoting psychological resilience and adaptive functioning.

At Your Psychologist, Franco Greco employs Jungian techniques to assist clients in navigating complex emotional landscapes, enabling them to tackle challenges like depression , anxiety , and relationship issues more effectively. His approach goes beyond symptom relief, aiming at fostering a deeper self-understanding that can lead to significant and lasting personal transformation.

Your Journey Towards Wholeness

Engaging with Jungian psychology is a transformative journey toward personal wholeness. At Your Psychologist, Franco Greco is dedicated to supporting you through this profound process of self-discovery and renewal. Our Elsternwick clinic’s tailored therapeutic strategies are designed to activate your inner resources and potential, empowering you not just to recover but to thrive.

Franco’s commitment is to provide a path to not only alleviate psychological pain but also enhance self-awareness and personal growth. Whether you are struggling with personal issues or just seeking deeper insight into your life’s purpose and dreams, our Jungian therapy services are here to guide you.

If you’re intrigued by the prospect of exploring deeper aspects of your psyche and unlocking pathways to self-discovery, consider embarking on this enlightening journey with us. Discover more about our services and how Jungian psychology can facilitate your path to healing by getting in touch . Together, we can navigate the complexities of the mind and soul, fostering not only recovery but profound, lasting personal growth.

What to Know About Therapy for Men

Wed, 05 Jun 2024 01:51:55 GMT

Understanding the unique challenges men face in seeking therapy is crucial for effective mental health support. At Your Psychologist, fully qualified and highly experienced psychologist Franco Greco provides tailored therapy for men. This guide explores the distinct aspects of therapy for men and how it can enhance their mental wellbeing.

Why Men Seek Therapy

Men often seek therapy for various reasons, including:

Work-Related Stress: High-pressure jobs and career transitions can lead to significant stress.
Relationship Issues: Navigating relationships, whether romantic or familial, can be challenging.
Emotional Struggles: Men may experience anxiety, depression, or anger that affects their daily lives.

Engaging in therapy can lead to numerous benefits, including improved relationships, enhanced emotional wellbeing, and increased resilience when navigating life’s challenges.

What are the Unique Aspects of Therapy for Men?

Therapy for men often differs from therapy for women, due to societal expectations and emotional conditioning. Here’s what sets it apart:

Addressing Societal Norms:

Breaking Stereotypes: Men are often taught to suppress emotions, leading to untreated mental health issues. Therapy helps break these stereotypes and encourages emotional expression.
Building Emotional Literacy: Many men may struggle to articulate their feelings; therapy can enhance emotional vocabulary and understanding.

Focus on Practical Solutions:

Problem-Solving Approach: Men often prefer actionable strategies to manage their issues. Therapy sessions may focus on practical solutions and coping mechanisms.
Goal-Oriented Sessions: Setting clear, achievable goals can motivate men to engage actively in their therapeutic journey.

Strength-Based Therapy:

Leveraging Strengths: Highlighting and utilising personal strengths can empower men, boosting their confidence and resilience.
Promoting Positive Masculinity: Encouraging healthy expressions of masculinity that align with personal values and strengths.

Confidential and Supportive Environment:

Creating Safe Spaces: Therapy provides a confidential setting where men can discuss sensitive issues without fear of judgment.
Building Trust: Establishing a strong therapeutic alliance is crucial for men to feel comfortable and open during sessions.

Franco Greco’s Expertise in Therapy for Men

With over 20 years of experience, Franco Greco is highly adept at understanding and addressing the specific needs of men in therapy. His evidence-based approach, which includes schema therapy and hypnotherapy, ensures that men receive comprehensive and personalised care. Franco has helped equip countless men with the emotional tools to overcome depression , anxiety , addiction , and negative schemas .

Schedule an appointment today

At Your Psychologist, we understand the importance of providing tailored support for men seeking therapy. Franco Greco’s expertise and compassionate approach make him a trusted professional in the field. If you or a loved one is considering therapy, take the first step towards mental wellness by scheduling an appointment today .

A Comprehensive Guide to Mental Wellness for Seniors

Wed, 05 Jun 2024 01:38:15 GMT

As we age, maintaining mental wellness becomes increasingly important for a fulfilling and vibrant life. In this guide, fully qualified and highly experienced psychologist Franco Greco offers invaluable insights and services to help seniors achieve optimal mental health. Here’s a detailed guide to bolstering mental wellness for seniors.

Understanding Mental Wellness for Seniors

Mental wellness for seniors encompasses emotional, psychological, and social wellbeing. It affects how we think, feel, and act, especially in coping with life’s challenges. Prioritising mental health can lead to improved physical health, enhanced quality of life, and greater longevity.

Tips for Enhancing Mental Wellness

Stay Socially Connected:

Engage in Community Activities: Participating in community events or joining clubs can help build meaningful connections.
Maintain Relationships: Regularly keep in touch with family and friends through calls, visits, or social media.

Keep Physically Active:

Regular Exercise: Activities like walking, swimming, or yoga can boost mood and overall health.
Stay Active Mentally: Engage in puzzles, reading, or learning new skills to keep your mind sharp.

Adopt Healthy Lifestyles:

Balanced Diet: Eat a nutritious diet rich in fruits, vegetables, and lean proteins.
Regular Sleep: Aim for 7-9 hours of sleep per night to ensure adequate rest.

Practise Mindfulness and Relaxation:

Meditation and Yoga: These practices can reduce stress and enhance emotional wellbeing.
Breathing Exercises: Simple techniques can help manage anxiety and promote relaxation.

Seek Professional Help When Needed:

Counselling and Therapy: Talking to a psychologist can provide support and strategies for managing stress, anxiety, and depression.
Regular Check-ups: Consult healthcare professionals to monitor both physical and mental health regularly.

The Role of Schema Therapy

Schema therapy is an innovative approach that addresses deep-seated patterns and behaviours. Franco Greco specialises in this therapy, offering seniors a pathway to understand and transform long-standing issues that affect mental wellness. By addressing these schemas (be it abandonment schema , emotional deprivation schema , social isolation schema , failure schema or otherwise), individuals can lead more balanced and satisfying lives.

With over 20 years of experience in psychology and executive roles, Franco Greco brings a wealth of knowledge and compassion to his practice. His approach is evidence-based, incorporating hypnotherapy and schema therapy to address various mental health issues. Franco’s dedication to enhancing mental wellness for seniors makes him a trusted professional in the field.

Promoting Mental Wellness Through Professional Support

At Your Psychologist, we are committed to supporting seniors in their journey toward mental wellness. Whether you’re dealing with anxiety, depression, or simply seeking to improve your overall wellbeing, our services are tailored to meet your needs. Franco Greco offers personalised therapy sessions that focus on your unique experiences and challenges.

If you or a loved one is looking to enhance mental wellness, consider reaching out to Franco Greco . At Your Psychologist, we’re here to provide the guidance and support necessary for a healthier, happier life.

The Art of Living a Long and Happy Life: Insights from Your Psychologist

Thu, 07 Mar 2024 03:42:23 GMT

In our quest for longevity and happiness, we often find ourselves seeking answers to life’s most profound questions. At Your Psychologist, led by the experienced psychologist Franco Greco, we delve into the intricate balance of living a life that is not only long but also rich in joy and satisfaction. Drawing upon decades of expertise and a holistic approach to mental well-being, here are some invaluable insights into crafting a life marked by vitality and contentment.

Cultivating a Positive Mindset

The foundation of a long and happy life lies in the power of our thoughts. A positive mindset, nurtured through practices such as mindfulness and cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT), can significantly influence our emotional health and resilience. By learning to challenge negative thought patterns and embrace a more optimistic outlook, we set the stage for a life filled with joy and a reduced stress response, contributing to overall longevity.

The Importance of Emotional Flexibility

Life is a tapestry of experiences, and emotional flexibility is key to navigating its ups and downs with grace. Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), a cornerstone of Franco Greco’s practice, teaches the art of accepting what we cannot change while committing to actions that enrich our lives. This approach fosters a sense of peace and purpose, both of which are essential ingredients for a happy life.

Deepening Connections

Human beings are inherently social creatures, and meaningful relationships are crucial to our happiness and longevity. Investing time and energy into nurturing relationships with family, friends, and the community not only provides emotional support but also enhances our sense of belonging and purpose. Through relationship counselling and effective communication strategies, individuals can strengthen these bonds, enriching their lives and those around them.

Pursuing Passion and Purpose

Finding and engaging in activities that resonate with our deepest passions and sense of purpose can be incredibly fulfilling. Whether it’s through a profession, hobby, or volunteer work, these pursuits provide a sense of accomplishment and joy. Franco Greco encourages clients to explore what truly brings them happiness and to make these activities a central part of their lives, contributing to a sense of fulfillment and longevity.

Embracing Lifelong Learning

The pursuit of knowledge and new experiences keeps the mind sharp and the spirit invigorated. Lifelong learning – whether it’s acquiring a new skill, exploring new cultures, or simply indulging in new books – stimulates cognitive function and fosters a curious, engaged approach to life. It should come as no surprise that this intellectual engagement is associated with better mental health and a longer life span.

Prioritising Physical Health

A healthy mind and a healthy body are inextricably linked. Regular physical activity, a nutritious diet, and adequate sleep are foundational to both longevity and happiness. Franco Greco emphasises the importance of a holistic approach to well-being that includes taking care of our physical health as a vital component of mental and emotional resilience.

Final Thoughts

Living a long and happy life is an art that requires a combination of everything we’ve touched on above. At Your Psychologist, Franco Greco offers a compassionate and evidence-based approach to achieving this balance, guiding individuals toward a life filled with joy, purpose, and longevity.

Remember, the journey to a fulfilling life is ongoing and ever-evolving – with the right mindset and tools, we can all aspire to live not just longer, but happier and more meaningful lives. For personalised guidance on embarking on this journey, reach out to Franco Greco and take the first step towards a brighter, healthier future.

The Psychology Of Longevity In Retirement – A Path to Flourishing Well-Being

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Thu, 07 Mar 2024 03:35:41 GMT

It’s no secret that retirement is a significant life transition, but also one that offers a unique opportunity for personal growth and the realisation of long-cherished dreams. However, this phase can also bring challenges that impact mental and emotional well-being.

Understanding the psychology of longevity in retirement is crucial for navigating this period with grace and vitality. At Your Psychologist, under the guidance of Franco Greco, we delve into the profound psychological aspects of retirement, ensuring a journey of fulfillment and happiness.

Embracing Change with Open Arms

Retirement marks a pivotal shift from a structured work life to a more fluid, self-directed phase. It’s a time to embrace change positively, redefining one’s identity beyond professional roles. Franco Greco’s approach, rooted in schema therapy and coaching, offers valuable insights into adapting to this change. By understanding and modifying negative life patterns, retirees can overcome potential feelings of loss or inadequacy, paving the way for a rewarding retirement life.

The Role of Schemas in Retirement

Schemas, or deep-seated beliefs and patterns, can significantly influence our perception of retirement. Negative schemas may lead to feelings of uselessness or isolation, while positive ones can foster a sense of purpose and connection. Through schema therapy, individuals learn to identify and challenge these underlying beliefs, encouraging a shift towards more adaptive, fulfilling thought patterns.

Building a Flourishing Post-Retirement Life

A flourishing retirement goes beyond financial preparedness; it requires mental and emotional readiness. Franco Greco’s holistic approach to counselling and coaching emphasises the importance of cognitive-behavioural therapy (CBT) and acceptance and commitment therapy (ACT) in building resilience and psychological flexibility. These modalities can help retirees embrace their new life phase with optimism, setting the stage for lasting well-being.

Nurturing Relationships and Social Connections

Retirement offers the luxury of time to deepen existing relationships and forge new ones. Strong social connections are vital for emotional support and contribute to a sense of belonging and community. Franco Greco’s expertise in relationship counselling underscores the significance of effective communication and conflict resolution skills in maintaining healthy relationships during retirement.

Engaging in Meaningful Activities

Finding purpose and meaning in retirement is key to psychological longevity – engaging in activities that align with one’s values and interests can lead to a sense of achievement and satisfaction. Whether it’s volunteering, pursuing hobbies, or continuing education, these activities provide structure, purpose, and joy; all of which are essential components of a fulfilling retirement.

Final Thoughts

The psychology of longevity in retirement is multifaceted, encompassing emotional, social, and cognitive dimensions. Franco Greco’s compassionate and evidence-based approach guides individuals through this transformative phase, so that retirees can achieve a sense of well-being and purpose, ensuring a vibrant and fulfilling retirement.

Remember, retirement is not just an end but a beginning – a chance to rediscover oneself, explore new horizons, and build a legacy of well-being. With the right psychological tools and support, the golden years can indeed be golden.

For more insights and guidance on navigating retirement with positivity and purpose, reach out to Your Psychologist and embark on a journey to a rewarding and happy retirement.

Coping Mechanisms for Anxiety: Navigate Through Your Nerves with Expertise

Fri, 02 Feb 2024 05:04:37 GMT

In today’s fast-paced world, feeling anxious can sometimes feel like a constant companion for many of us. Whether it’s the pressures of work, the complexities of our personal lives, or the overwhelming nature of global events, anxiety can seep into our day-to-day existence, making it difficult to find peace and focus. However, understanding and implementing effective coping mechanisms for anxiety can significantly improve your quality of life.

At Your Psychologist, under the experienced guidance of Franco Greco , we believe in empowering you with tools and techniques to manage anxiety, fostering resilience and well-being.

Understanding Anxiety

Anxiety , in its many forms, can manifest as an array of symptoms, including panic attacks, restlessness, difficulty concentrating, sleep disturbances, and physical symptoms like nausea or trembling – recognising these signs is the first step towards managing them. At Your Psychologist, situated in the heart of Elsternwick, we’re committed to helping you identify and tackle these symptoms head-on, offering a sanctuary for those seeking to regain control over their anxiety.

Coping Mechanisms for Anxiety – Strategies to Embrace

Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Practicing mindfulness can anchor you in the present moment, alleviating worries about the future or ruminations on the past. Techniques such as deep breathing, meditation, and yoga can reduce stress levels and enhance your sense of peace and well-being.
Structured Problem-Solving: Anxiety often stems from feeling overwhelmed by life’s challenges. Breaking down problems into manageable parts and tackling them one at a time can reduce the anxiety they cause.
Physical Activity: Regular exercise is not just good for your physical health; it’s also a powerful anxiety reliever. Physical activity releases endorphins, chemicals in your brain that act as natural painkillers and mood elevators.
Healthy Lifestyle Choices: A balanced diet, adequate sleep, and limiting intake of caffeine and alcohol can significantly impact your anxiety levels. Small changes in your daily routine can lead to big improvements in your mental health.
Social Support: Connecting with others can provide comfort and reduce feelings of isolation. Sharing your experiences with friends, family, or a support group can offer new perspectives and coping strategies.

Your Psychologist – Your Partner in Managing Anxiety

At Your Psychologist, we don’t just focus on managing symptoms. Led by Franco Greco, our approach is rooted in understanding the underlying causes of your anxiety. Through a personalised blend of therapy techniques, we strive to equip you with the coping mechanisms for anxiety that work best for you. Whether it’s navigating life transitions, tackling intrusive thoughts, or simply seeking a more balanced mindset, our evidence-based methods are tailored to meet your unique needs.

Recognising when to seek help is a sign of strength – if you’re experiencing symptoms of anxiety that interfere with your daily life, we invite you to reach out to us. Your first step towards therapy might feel daunting, but it’s a courageous move towards reclaiming your well-being. With a compassionate, personalised approach, Your Psychologist is dedicated to guiding you through your anxiety, offering not just relief but lasting change.

Beyond Anxiety – Comprehensive Mental Health Support

Understanding that anxiety often coexists with other mental health challenges, Your Psychologist offers a broad spectrum of services to address these complexities. From depression and OCD to career-related stress and beyond, Franco Greco’s extensive experience ensures comprehensive support tailored to your specific circumstances.

Take the Next Step with Your Psychologist

Embark on a transformative journey towards overcoming anxiety with Your Psychologist. Located in Elsternwick, our clinic is a beacon of hope for those seeking to navigate life’s challenges with confidence and resilience. Reach out today and take the first step towards a calmer, more fulfilling life. At Your Psychologist, we’re not just about coping with anxiety; we’re about thriving in spite of it.

Coping Mechanisms for Depression: A Guide from Your Psychologist

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Fri, 02 Feb 2024 04:58:54 GMT

Depression can feel like a heavy cloud that dims the brightness of life, leaving individuals feeling isolated, hopeless, and overwhelmed. At Your Psychologist, led by the compassionate Franco Greco in the heart of Elsternwick, we understand the complexities of depression and the importance of finding effective coping mechanisms.

Before diving into coping mechanisms, it’s crucial to recognise that depression is more than just feeling sad or going through a temporary phase of low mood – it’s a persistent condition that affects your emotional and physical wellbeing. Recognising this is the first step towards healing.

Coping Mechanisms for Depression

Stay Connected: Isolation can exacerbate feelings of depression. Keeping in touch with friends and family, even when it feels difficult, can provide a sense of belonging and support.
Develop a Routine: Depression can strip away the structure from your life. Setting a gentle daily schedule can help bring back some normalcy and predictability.
Physical Activity: Regular exercise can significantly boost mood and reduce symptoms of depression, thanks to the endorphins and serotonin it helps release.
Mindfulness and Meditation: These practices can help you stay present and reduce negative thinking patterns, offering a peaceful refuge from the turmoil of depression.
Healthy Eating: Nutrition plays a critical role in mental health. A balanced diet can impact your mood and energy levels, providing the physical support your body needs to cope.
Sleep Hygiene: Depression often disrupts sleep patterns. Establishing a relaxing bedtime routine and aiming for a consistent sleep schedule can improve your overall mood and energy.
Seek Professional Help: Engaging with a mental health professional can provide tailored strategies to manage depression effectively. Therapy offers a safe space to explore your feelings and develop coping mechanisms suited to your unique situation.

Your Psychologist – A Partner in Your Journey

At Your Psychologist, we don’t believe in a one-size-fits-all approach to treating depression . Our therapy sessions are tailored to meet the individual needs of our clients, focusing on addressing core beliefs and providing skills for future challenges. Under the guidance of Franco Greco and our team of dedicated professionals, we offer a range of therapeutic approaches to better manage and alleviate symptoms of depression.

Our clinic in Elsternwick is a beacon of hope for those feeling lost to depression. We understand the courage it takes to reach out for help and offer a compassionate, supportive environment where you can feel understood and not alone. Starting your therapy journey with us can be a significant step towards reclaiming your life from depression.

Beyond Coping – Thriving with Your Psychologist

Your Psychologist is not just about coping with depression; we aim to empower our clients to thrive. Beyond immediate coping mechanisms, we work with you to explore the root causes of your depression, helping to build resilience and a more joyful, fulfilling life.

If you’re struggling with depression and the coping mechanisms mentioned here seem like a distant goal, remember that help is close at hand. Our clinic in Elsternwick is ready to support you through this challenging time, offering a range of services beyond depression counselling, including help with addiction , workplace issues , relationship problems , and anxiety .

Take the First Step Today

Depression can make taking the first step towards help seem daunting, but at Your Psychologist, we’re here to make it as easy as possible. Contact us today for a free consultation and begin your journey towards a lighter, brighter future. With our support, coping mechanisms for depression can become a part of your past, and a more hopeful, engaged life can be your present and future.

Surviving Long Distance Relationships: Insights and Expert Guidance from Franco Greco at Your Psychologist

Sun, 28 Jan 2024 23:19:35 GMT

Navigating the complexities of a long distance relationship can be challenging, yet with the right strategies and support, it’s entirely possible to maintain a healthy, loving connection despite the distance. In the points below, we offer valuable insights into how to survive a long distance relationship and strengthen your bond.

Understanding the Unique Challenges

It’s no secret that long distance relationships present unique challenges, including maintaining communication, trust, and emotional intimacy . These challenges, if not addressed, can lead to frequent arguing, dissatisfaction, and difficulties in managing conflict healthily. Recognising these issues is the first step towards overcoming them.

Effective Communication: The Key to Closeness

In long distance relationships, communication goes beyond mere conversations – it involves sharing feelings, aspirations, and fears. At Your Psychologist in Elsternwick, we employ techniques like the Gottman Method , emphasising the importance of effective communication in strengthening friendship, managing conflict, and creating shared meaning in a relationship.

Building Trust and Intimacy

Trust and emotional intimacy are critical in long distance relationships. We help couples identify underlying issues, like trust concerns or dissatisfaction with intimacy, and help you work through these using Schema Therapy . This approach understands the vulnerabilities in human relationships and helps in transforming negative beliefs, fostering a secure and connected bond.

Managing Conflict from Afar

Conflict is inevitable, but in a long distance relationship, it can feel more intense – learning to manage conflict constructively is crucial. At Your Psychologist, we specialise in relationship anger management, guiding couples to respond healthily during conflicts – this is part of our comprehensive conflict resolution and couples therapy services .

The Gottman Method: A Proven Approach

Integrating Schema Therapy with the Gottman method, Franco Greco offers a holistic approach to relationship counselling. The Gottman method is known for its effectiveness in addressing the “Four Horsemen” that predict relationship breakdowns: criticism, defensiveness, stonewalling, and contempt. By tackling these issues, couples can find more intimacy and passion in their relationship.

Preparing for the Future

Whether you’re in a long-standing relationship or preparing for marriage, understanding and preparing for the challenges ahead is vital. Pre-marriage counselling is an excellent way to strengthen your bond before taking the next step. Your Psychologist provides tailored sessions to help you and your partner establish a strong, resilient foundation.

The Benefits of Seeking Help

Seeking relationship help early can significantly improve the success rate of counselling. Benefits include improved communication, trust rebuilding, conflict management, and a greater sense of respect – it’s a proactive step towards a fulfilling relationship.

Your Psychologist: Your Partner in Relationship Health

As a trusted couples psychologist in Elsternwick, Your Psychologist is committed to helping you navigate the intricacies of long distance relationships. Our tailored, evidence-based approach addresses your unique relationship dynamics, offering the support and guidance you need.

Interested in learning more about how to survive a long distance relationship?

Contact Your Psychologist in Elsternwick today at 0419 139 805 to book your first appointment and embark on a journey towards a stronger, more connected relationship.

How Does Your Relationship Survive The Arrival Of A New Baby?

Tue, 12 Dec 2023 05:17:12 GMT

The arrival of a newborn brings profound joy, purpose, and meaning into parents' lives. However, the first year with a baby also brings major challenges that can strain even the strongest relationships. Sleep deprivation, changing roles, less quality time together, and trying to meet everyone’s needs can pile up quickly. But with some intentionality, teamwork, and compassion, you can navigate this transition in a way that brings you and your partner closer.

Here’s how.

Make Time for Your Relationship

Carving out regular one-on-one time is essential, even if it's just an hour after baby goes to sleep. Take walks together, grab coffee, or curl up on the couch and talk. Share your feelings, update each other on your lives, and reconnect emotionally.

Don’t just talk about the baby! Date nights are also key for couples to relax and have fun together. Get a trusted babysitter and go out every few weeks.

Divide and Conquer

Sit down together and look at all the new tasks and responsibilities that need to get done. Make a list, then divide and assign, playing to each person’s strengths.

Revisit it when things get out of balance. The goal is for no one to feel overwhelmed and for both partners to contribute.

Practice Patience and Grace

You're both under a lot of stress and operating on little sleep. Emotions may run high. Allow each other space when needed, and react gently if your partner is irritable or impatient. Say thank you often for each other’s efforts. Everyone has their moments; don't let temporary moods damage your relationship.

Work as a Team

Parenting can sometimes feel like a solo sport, but you’re a team. Communicate, collaborate, and have each other’s backs. When you tag team on fussy nights, share pride in accomplishments, and tackle challenges in a “how can I help?” spirit, you build resilience together.

The transition to parenthood is a rollercoaster, but being intentional about your relationship and prioritising your partnership will help you weather the ups and downs. With teamwork, empathy and commitment to maintaining your close connection amid the crazy early years, you can nurture your baby and your relationship at the same time.

Seeking Professional Help

The massive life change of having a baby can unveil relationship problems that may have gone unnoticed before. Issues with communication, intimacy, division of labour, and overall partnership can bubble up and feel magnified under the weight of sleep deprivation and new responsibilities.

This is completely normal! No couple is immune to struggling during this adjustment period.

That's why seeking help from a professional therapist trained in couples counselling and new parenthood transitions can be invaluable. Through sessions together, they can give you research-backed tools and perspectives to communicate more effectively, get on the same page, and weather bumps constructively.

Having an objective third party create a safe space for you to express your feelings, needs, hopes, and frustrations can make a big difference. These services can help you see each other's viewpoints, identify problems causing problems, and give tailored advice. They can also help you realign your relationship priorities and expectations realistically.

You don't have to wait until you're in "crisis" mode to do couples counselling, either. Many new parents find it useful to start sessions proactively during pregnancy or soon after birth. Investing in your partnership during this transition sets you up for success.

For more information on our psychologist services for new parents, contact our clinic now.

Recovering From A Toxic Relationship

Tue, 12 Dec 2023 05:07:24 GMT

Ending a toxic relationship can leave you feeling lost, confused, and emotionally drained. While the healthiest decision is often to walk away, recovering and healing after a breakup with a toxic partner takes time and active effort.

Here are some tips to help you move forward:

Give Yourself Time to Grieve

It’s normal to go through a grieving process after ending a relationship, even a bad one. Allow yourself to fully feel and process the emotions - sadness, anger, regret - before trying to “get over it.” Avoid suppressing your feelings or rushing the healing process. Be patient with yourself and take things one day at a time.

Lean on Your Support System

Surround yourself with close friends, family members, and a strong support system. Talk to people you trust about what you’re going through. Spend quality time with loved ones who build you up. Don’t isolate yourself - being around people who care about you can help ease the loneliness.

Practice Self-Care and Self-Love

Make an effort to care for your physical, mental and emotional health. Do things that make you feel good, whether exercising, journaling, pursuing hobbies, or going through psychology services . Treat yourself with kindness, empathy and compassion. Shift your inner dialogue to focus on your strengths and self-worth.

Set Healthy Boundaries

If you must stay in contact with your ex, set clear boundaries. Limit interactions, conversations, and time spent together. Refrain from discussing the relationship or revisiting the past. Say no to behaviours that feel uncomfortable. Protect your peace of mind. All of these actions are the most important part of setting yourself up for success.

Identify Lessons Learned

Once you have gained some distance and perspective, reflect on any insights gained or lessons learned. Think about red flags you may have overlooked and behaviours you want to avoid going forward. Identify any lingering impact from the toxicity so you can continue to heal.

Recovering from a toxic relationship requires resilience, courage and self-love. Be proud of yourself for getting out - and know that brighter days are ahead. With time, care and patience, you will move forward into a healthier, happier chapter of your life.

Seeking Professional Help

While self-care, reflection, and leaning on loved ones are all important parts of recovering from a toxic relationship, seeking help from a professional can also be very beneficial.

Your Psychologist provides counselling and psychotherapy services that can aid in the healing process after leaving a toxic partner. Some of the ways a psychologist can help include:

Providing a safe, judgement-free space to process emotions and experiences from the relationship
Helping identify unhealthy relationship patterns and behaviours to avoid repeating.
Teaching coping strategies to manage stress, anxiety, depression or trauma.
Assisting in rebuilding self-esteem, confidence and sense of self-worth.
Encouraging personal growth and greater self-awareness.

Working with a qualified mental health professional provides specialised support and an outside perspective. With compassionate guidance tailored to your unique situation, you can advance into healthier relationships and a happier life.

Contact our clinic now to see how we can help you make positive, productive steps to a happier future.

Why Therapy Works

Fri, 23 Dec 2022 01:24:52 GMT

Therapy has been around for centuries, but it’s only recently that we’ve really begun to understand how it works and why it is so effective. It has been proven time and again that therapy is one of the most effective tools in helping people cope with anxiety, depression, trauma, and other mental health issues. In this blog post, we'll explore why therapy can be so helpful in improving mental health.

What is therapy, exactly?

In a nutshell, therapy is a form of psychological treatment that helps people understand their feelings and behaviour better through conversations with a trained professional. The therapist helps the patient identify patterns of thought or behaviours that may be contributing to their difficulty in navigating life.

Working together, the patient and therapist can explore solutions to improve the patient’s mental health outlook. Through this process, the patient may gain insight on how to manage their emotions and make positive changes in their life. This process also allows for processing trauma from difficult experiences, which can lead to increased resilience when faced with challenging situations.

How does therapy work?

The goal of therapy is to help patients increase their understanding of themselves and others by focusing on thoughts and behaviours while gaining insight into how they are impacting daily life decisions. The therapist may use a variety of techniques including:

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT), which focuses on identifying negative thinking patterns
Dialectical Behaviour Therapy (DBT), which focuses on teaching distress tolerance skills such as mindfulness and acceptance as well as emotion regulation strategies
Other therapies such as psychodynamic therapy, interpersonal therapy and family systems therapy are also available depending upon patient needs

Ultimately, all therapeutic approaches focus on helping the patient gain understanding of self and others while learning skills for coping with difficult emotions or circumstances. These skills can be applied to everyday life situations, allowing for improved quality of life overall.

Why is therapy effective?

It’s important to remember that everyone responds differently to varying treatments, so there isn’t one answer when it comes to whether or not someone will benefit from therapy or what type of therapy might work best for them as an individual.

That said, research has consistently shown that engaging in some form of psychotherapy leads to improved mental health outcomes overall, as opposed to attempting to manage symptoms without any outside assistance. People who engage in regular sessions report feeling more confident in managing stressors associated with daily living, while developing coping strategies for dealing with difficult emotions such as anxiety or depression, which often accompany mental health issues like PTSD or bipolar disorder.

Additionally, many people find comfort in being able to openly discuss thoughts or feelings they have not been able to express before without judgement, which further adds value to the therapeutic experience itself.

Will therapy work for you?

Overall, psychotherapy is an effective way for people struggling with mental health issues to improve their lives by developing healthier habits and exploring ways to better cope with difficult emotions or past traumas. With the right approach tailored specifically towards each individual's needs, people can gain greater insight about themselves while learning new skills for managing stressors associated with everyday living.

If you feel that you would benefit from consulting with a therapist, Franco Greco at Your Psychologist in Elsternwick is fully qualified and highly experienced in helping people overcome negative thought patterns and behaviours - from anxiety and depression to addiction , weight loss , relationship issues and more. Book your initial consultation today.

How To Save A Relationship

Fri, 23 Dec 2022 01:20:18 GMT

Relationships are wonderful and complex - they require work, effort, and communication. And sometimes, no matter how hard we try, relationships can start to feel strained or distant. That’s why it’s important to have strategies for how to save a relationship when it’s in need. Here’s a step-by-step guide that can help you get your relationship back on track before any real damage is done.

1. Identify the problem

The first step is always the most difficult. It takes courage and vulnerability to identify the underlying issue in your relationship. This can be anything from lack of communication to feelings of resentment or even cheating. Once the problem is identified, you will have an easier time fixing it because you know what exactly needs to be addressed.

2. Take responsibility

Next, take responsibility for your part in whatever problem may have arisen in your relationship. Be honest about where you could have done better or been more understanding or patient with your partner. Taking responsibility for your actions allows you and your partner to move forward without any lingering guilt or resentment from either side.

3. Communicate openly

Once both sides of the relationship agree on what needs to change, open up the lines of communication between you and your partner so that issues can be discussed openly and honestly moving forward. You should also come up with a plan for how both partners can hold each other accountable if issues arise again in the future. This could involve setting aside a specific amount of time each week/month/etc. just for talking through problems together, or creating a list of topics that are off limits during disagreements (i.e. no name calling). The key here is that both people need to feel safe expressing themselves without fear of judgment or criticism from the other person.

Here are some other tips to keep in mind for how to save a relationship

Spend quality time together

Quality time is essential for couples because it helps build trust and strengthens the connection between two people. Put away your phones and laptops during this time so that you can focus solely on each other. A great way to do this is by trying out new activities together like taking up a mutual hobby or exploring different areas in your city or state!

Express gratitude

Showing appreciation for one another will help make your relationship stronger by creating positive emotions between both partners. Expressing gratitude through words or small gestures can go a long way in increasing feelings of love and happiness within the relationship – remember, it doesn’t have to be anything big!

Prioritise intimacy

Intimacy is an often-overlooked aspect of relationships which should never be taken for granted. Making time for physical intimacy regularly will help keep things spicy between both partners while also allowing them to reconnect emotionally with one another in a meaningful way.

Relationships are complex, but they don’t have to be complicated if they are approached with love and respect

If you find yourself struggling with saving a relationship, use this guide as a starting point. And if you feel that you and/or your partner would benefit from speaking with a qualified and experienced professional, don’t hesitate to book a consultation with Franco Greco at Your Psychologist today. We can assist with everything from relationship counselling and co-dependency therapy , to divorce mediation and intimacy therapy as well.

How To Stop Overthinking In A Relationship

Fri, 23 Dec 2022 01:12:09 GMT

Have you ever felt like you were overthinking too much in your relationships? Do you find yourself getting caught up in the details and worrying too much about what it all means? Many people today are facing this issue. However, it doesn’t have to be that way - there is a way to overcome this problem and live a more relaxed and wholesome life with your significant other. Here is a detailed guide on how to stop overthinking in your relationships.

1. Identify the problem

The first step is to identify the source of your overthinking. Is there something specific about the relationship that causes you to think too much? Are there certain topics that make you more prone to overthinking? Do certain behaviours from your partner cause your mind to race? Once you can identify why you are feeling overwhelmed, it will be easier to break out of the cycle and start thinking more clearly. It can be easy to get stuck in an obsessive cycle of thought without recognising that our thoughts might not accurately reflect reality. Once you become aware that you’re having these anxious thoughts, take a few deep breaths and remind yourself that these are just thoughts; they are not necessarily reflective of reality or fact.

2. Get into a routine

Having a daily routine can help reduce stress levels and help keep your thoughts organised. Focusing on one thing at a time can make it easier for you to stay focused and not get overwhelmed by all of the different things going on in your life. Having an established schedule can also help prevent overthinking because it gives structure and direction to each day, which can help curb anxiety and feelings of being overwhelmed.

3. Talk it out with someone who understands you

Talking through issues with another person who understands what you’re going through can be incredibly helpful when trying to come up with solutions for stopping overthinking in relationships. This could include talking with friends, family members, or even professional counsellors if necessary, depending on the severity of the situation - but having someone who listens without judgment or criticism can really make a difference when trying to find healthy solutions for solving problems related to overthinking in relationships.

4. Practice mindfulness techniques

Another good technique is to practice mindfulness techniques such as meditation or yoga regularly throughout the day as needed, especially during times when your thoughts become overwhelming or confusing. Taking deep breaths while focusing on being present will allow you to stay grounded and focused so that over-analysing won’t take hold of your mind and cause further distress in your relationship dynamics with each other and yourself as well!

Overthinking is an issue many millennials face today, but don't despair - there are ways around it

By taking actionable steps such as identifying why we're feeling overwhelmed, getting into a routine, talking about our issues with understanding people, and using mindfulness techniques often we can overcome our tendency towards over-analysis and enjoy healthier relationships with ourselves and our partners alike.

If you feel that you and/or your partner would benefit from speaking with a qualified and experienced professional, don’t hesitate to book a consultation with Franco Greco at Your Psychologist today. We can assist with everything from relationship counselling and co-dependency therapy , to divorce mediation and intimacy therapy as well.

How To Choose A Psychologist

Mon, 12 Dec 2022 05:24:17 GMT

Choosing a psychologist can seem like a daunting task. That’s why we’ve put together this list of suggestions and guidelines to help you get on the right track with choosing the ideal psychologist for your individual needs.

Figure out your goals and aims

It can be difficult to figure out where to start, especially if you have never seen a psychologist before. Are your reasons for seeing a psychologist general, or is there a specific set of concerns you’d like to discuss? How might a psychologist help you? What would be a successful outcome? Every therapist will begin your first session by helping you figure this out, but if you’ve already thought about it a little, you may be able to make faster progress.

Practical considerations in choosing a psychologist

When searching for a psychologist, the first consideration is how quickly he or she is able to take on new patients. You’ll also want to take into account factors like the availability of Medicare or private rebates, as well as office location and hours. Many psychologists also offer consultations via telehealth, which can be extremely convenient for some people.

Personal and cultural considerations

Depending on the reasons you’re seeking out a psychologist, you may also want to choose one from a similar age group, religion, culture, gender, or sexual orientation as yourself. One good reason for this is that people with similar backgrounds may find it easier to understand and relate to one another, which is key in building trust. It also helps to avoid cases where a client has to explain aspects of their background to the therapist, which could be upsetting or even triggering.

Therapeutic modalities

You may already have some idea of the type of treatment you need, but if not, consider looking into some of the popular therapeutic modalities offered by psychologists. Most will state which modality or modalities they specialise in, for example Schema Therapy which we offer. A few of the most well-known and widely practiced modalities are as follows:

Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT)
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT)
Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
Psychoanalytic/Psychodynamic Therapy
Schema Therapy (ST)

Assess relevant qualifications and experience

Ensure the practitioner’s experience and areas of expertise match your goals or areas you’re seeking help with, and choose a psychologist accordingly. For example, are you looking for relationship counselling , or a therapist who specialises in trauma ? Most psychologists will have an area or areas they specialise in, and this information will usually be publicly available. At Your Psychologist in Elsternwick, we offer a broad spectrum of schema therapy modalities, ranging from relationship therapy to anxiety and depression counselling. You can view our approach via many of our free to view videos to get a deeper understanding of our approach to Schema Therapy.

Go with your gut

During the first session, assess how you feel speaking to the psychologist. It may take a few sessions to build trust, but it’s ideal if you can feel relatively comfortable straight away, since the relationship between psychologist and client is the key factor in efficacy of treatment. Even if the session is emotionally challenging or uncomfortable, you should feel safe, and the relationship should feel collaborative.

Once you’ve found a psychologist you can trust, make sure you get the most out of each session. This often means putting in work outside the sessions as well as inside. If things don’t feel right, don’t hesitate to let the psychologist know. You can always continue your search; many people see several therapists before finding a good fit. Good luck!

How Do You Know When Your Relationship Is Over?

Fri, 14 Oct 2022 05:13:02 GMT

No one enters a relationship expecting it to end - breakups are difficult, no matter what the reason. But sometimes, a relationship comes to an end because it has simply run its course. Other times, there are warning signs that a relationship is unhealthy or even abusive. And still other times, outside circumstances such as job loss or long-distance can make continuing the relationship untenable.

Here is a guide to help you determine if your relationship is over.

1. You're not happy

This seems like an obvious one, but it's worth stating anyway. If you're in a relationship and you're not happy, something needs to change. That might mean working on communication, trying new things together, or even going to counselling. But if you've tried all of those things and you're still not happy, it might be time to call it quits.

2. You don't trust each other

Trust is essential for any healthy relationship - if you don't trust your partner, chances are the relationship isn't going to work out in the long run. Trust takes time to build, so if you're in a new relationship this point may not apply to you yet. But if you've been together for a while and there's still no trust, that's a big sign that things aren't going to work out.

3. You're always fighting

All relationships have their ups and downs, but if you find that you're constantly fighting with your partner it might be time to end things. If you're constantly texting each other in a passive-aggressive way, that's not healthy either! Communication is key in any relationship, but if all you ever do is fight it could be time to walk away.

4. You're bored

Relationships should be exciting! If you find yourself feeling bored in your relationship, it might be a sign that it's time to move on. Of course, every relationship goes through phases where things are a little bit mundane but if you find yourself totally uninterested in your partner then it might be time for something new.

5. You have different values

Values are important in any relationship! If you and your partner have different values - for example, one of you wants kids and the other doesn't - this can be tough to overcome. Different values can also refer to things like religion or politics. It's important to have some common ground with your partner but if your values are too different it might be difficult to make the relationship work in the long run.

6. You don't spend any time together anymore

When you first start dating someone new, it's normal to want to spend every waking minute with them! But as the novelty wears off, it's normal for couples to want some time apart. However, if you find that you haven't seen your partner in weeks, or only for a very short amount of time each day, that's definitely a sign that something is wrong. Of course, sometimes outside circumstances such as job loss or long-distance can make continuing the relationship untenable.

7. Your friends and family don't like them

Friends and family can be great sources of support (and sometimes even wisdom) when it comes to our love lives. If the people who know you best don't like your partner, that's definitely something worth considering. However, it's also important to take into account whether or not your friends and family have actually spent much time with your partner. Sometimes first impressions can be unfair - give things a chance before making any hasty decisions.

8. You just know

Sometimes we just know when something isn't right. Trust your gut! If something feels off, chances are it probably is. At the end of the day, only you and your partner can decide whether or not your relationship is over. But if any (or all) of these signs resonate with you, it might be time to start thinking about calling it quits.

Have you considered couples therapy?

No one enters a into a relationship expecting to break up, but unfortunately it’s just part of life sometimes. By being aware of some of the signs that indicate a relationship might be over, we can make these difficult decisions just a little bit easier.

If you feel that you and your partner would benefit from couples therapy, Your Psychologist in Elsternwick can help. We specialise in a wide range of schema therapy modalities, from relationship therapy and co-dependency counselling , to intimacy problems , anxiety/depression and other negative thought patterns. Get in touch to arrange a one-on-one consultation today.

How To Fix A Broken Relationship

Fri, 14 Oct 2022 05:07:59 GMT

When two people are in a relationship, it’s not always perfect - there will be good times and there will be bad times. You may have disagreements and you may even argue. But that’s okay, because relationships are all about compromise. What’s not okay is when your relationship starts to fall apart and you don’t know how to fix it.

If you’re struggling in your relationship and you want to learn how to fix it, then keep reading. In this blog post, we’ll give you some tips on how to get your relationship back on track.

1. Talk to your partner

The first step is to talk to your partner about what’s going on. It’s important that you communicate with each other so that you can both understand what the problem is and figure out a solution together. If you bottle things up, it will only make the situation worse -so be open and honest with your partner about how you’re feeling and what you think is wrong.

2. Listen to your partner

Just as it’s important for you to express how you feel, it’s also important for you to listen to your partner. They may have a different perspective on the situation or they may see things that you don’t see. By listening to them, you can gain a better understanding of the problem and find a solution that works for both of you.

3. Compromise

Once you’ve talked about the problem and listened to each other, it’s time to start working on a solution. This will require some compromise from both of you. If one person is always giving in, then that’s not going to work long-term. You need to find a middle ground that makes both of you happy.

4. Be patient

Rome wasn’t built in a day, and neither are relationships. If your relationship is struggling, it’s going to take some time and effort to get it back on track, but it will be worth it in the end if you stick with it. So be patient and keep working at it until things start getting better again.

Seek couples counselling

If your relationship is struggling, don’t despair - there are ways to fix it. By following the tips outlined above, you can get your relationship back on track in no time. If you feel that you and your partner would benefit from couples therapy, Your Psychologist in Elsternwick can help.

We specialise in a wide range of schema therapy modalities, from relationship therapy and co-dependency counselling , to intimacy problems , anxiety/depression and other negative thought patterns. Get in touch to arrange a one-on-one consultation today.

How Does Relationships With Parents Affect Future Relationships?

Fri, 14 Oct 2022 05:00:20 GMT

The family is the first social system a person encounters. It is through our family that we learn about relationships - we learn how to give and receive love, communication, respect, and support. Our family also provides us with a model of what to expect in future relationships. Therefore, the quality of our family relationships greatly impacts the development of our own future relationships. Let's take a closer look at how this works.

How family relationships affect future relationships

One way our early family experiences influence our future relationships is by serving as a template for how we expect to be treated by others. For example, if we grew up in a household where there was a lot of arguing and yelling, we may come to expect that all couples fight and that it is normal for relationships to be full of drama.

However, if we witnessed calm and respectful parenting, we are more likely to develop an expectation that adult relationships can be peaceful and harmonious. Of course, no family is perfect and we will all bring some baggage into our adult relationships, but awareness of how our early experiences have shaped our expectations can help us to be more mindful in future relationships and lead healthier lives.

1. Communication patterns

One way that the relationship between a parent and child can affect future relationships is communication patterns. The way that parents communicate with their children can influence the way that the children communicate with others, including romantic partners.

If we feel safe communicating within our families, we are more likely to communicate effectively in future intimate relationships. On the other hand, if communication within our families was characterised by criticism or invalidation, we may have difficulty expressing ourselves honestly in future close relationships out of fear of rejection or being ridiculed. Therefore, developing healthy communication skills early on can lay the foundation for strong and fulfilling future relationships.

2. Attachment styles

Attachment styles refer to the way that we relate to others, especially when it comes to emotions. There are four different attachment styles: secure, anxious-preoccupied, dismissing-avoidant, and fearful-avoidant.

People who have a secure attachment style tend to have healthier relationships because they trust others and feel comfortable being emotionally close to others, whereas people with an anxious-preoccupied attachment style tend to be clingy and always seeking reassurance from their partners. People with a dismissing-avoidant attachment style tend to keep emotions at bay and may have trouble really connecting with others. And finally, people with a fearful-avoidant attachment style tend to be afraid of intimacy and may pull away from their partner even when they do want to be close.

Children who have a secure attachment style are more likely to have healthy relationships as adults because they know how to trust others and be emotionally open. On the other hand, children who have an anxious-preoccupied, dismissing-avoidant, or fearful-avoidant attachment style may have difficulty trusting others or connecting on an emotional level, which can lead to unhealthy relationships as adults.

3. Expectations for support

Lastly, our family members are usually the first people we turn to when we need support or feel overwhelmed. If we had a parent or caregiver who was always available to lend a listening ear or provide helpful advice during difficult times, we may come to expect the same level of support from romantic partners later on in life.

However, if our early experiences with family members were marked by neglect or abandonment, we may find it difficult to trust or depend on others later in life and wind up feeling isolated and alone even when surrounded by loved ones. Learning how to trust and rely on others is an important part of building strong and lasting relationships.

Is your relationship with your parents affecting your romantic relationships?

The quality of our early family relationships has a profound impact on the development of our own future intimate relationships. Family serves as a template for how we expect to be treated by others, and teaches us essential communication and interpersonal skills that lay the foundation for healthy future partnerships.

Our ability to trust and rely on others also begins with early family bonds. Understanding how your first social system has influenced your relational style can help you build stronger connections with others later in life.

If you feel that your relationship with your parents is negatively impacting your current relationships, you may benefit from tailored therapy treatment from a qualified and experienced professional. At Your Psychologist in Elsternwick, we provide evidence-based schema therapy for relationship issues , co-dependency , intimacy problems , anxiety/depression and other negative thought patterns. Get in touch to arrange a one-on-one consultation today.

How Do You Fix Intimacy Issues in a Relationship?

Wed, 07 Sep 2022 06:47:30 GMT

If you’re asking this question, you may be feeling detached or distanced from your partner at the moment. It’s worth mentioning right from the outset that this happens in many relationships, for a variety of reasons. The good news is that with the right emotional tools and by utilising the right methods, you and your partner can overcome these challenges and find the “spark” once again.

Fostering physical and emotional intimacy in a relationship is an ongoing practise, and like anything that requires practise, it may take a little while to figure it out. That being said, there are some things you can try as early as tonight that might help to rekindle your emotional connection and rediscover intimacy with each other.

1. Place yourself in a vulnerable position to earn your partner’s trust again

Even for couples who have been together for years, sometimes you’ll find that either yourself or your partner (or both) have re-erected personal boundaries for whatever reason. If this is the case, one thing you can do is deliberately put yourself in a position of vulnerability, and allow your partner to assert themselves into this invitation for a more intimate conversation.

It could be something that’s happening in your career that maybe you wouldn’t normally bring up, or something from your past which you’ve never shared with anyone.

2. Offer affirmations and compliments to your partner on a daily basis

We’re all guilty of taking our partner’s best attributes for granted at times – even if those attributes are the very thing that made you fall in love with them in the first place. Life gets in the way, and we get distracted with other issues that are consuming our headspace.

Just by going out of your way to give your partner specific compliments and affirmations on a routine basis, you may be amazed at the instant positive impact this can have on your emotional intimacy levels.

It doesn’t take much to remind your partner of how you feel about them, and the positive attributes about them that you still consciously notice in normal day-to-day life.

3. Make your partner’s sexual satisfaction a priority

Research shows that couples who report being sexually satisfied tend to have a greater emotional connection to their partners. Of course, this makes sense – our physical and emotional needs are intrinsically linked, and one compliments the other.

While the act of sexual intercourse obviously isn’t a simple solution for strengthening your emotional connection and overcoming intimacy issues, having discussions with each other about how you can further satisfy your partner and what fantasies and desires they have requires a certain level of vulnerability. This vulnerability, when reciprocated, creates room for heightened intimacy (both physically and emotionally).

4. Try exciting new things together, to break out of mundane routines

In this day and age, it’s all too easy to get bogged down in your 9-5 job and same old routines. When this happens in a relationship, one of the first things to suffer is usually intimacy. If you and your partner are stuck in a rut where most weeks involve the same mundane activities, it might be time to break out of this cycle and try something new together.

It could be something as simple as a cooking class once a week, or something active like hiking or rock-climbing on the weekends. By giving yourselves time together in a new setting while exploring new hobbies, there’s a good chance you’ll instantly start to unearth new feelings of intimacy which can help you rediscover how you felt about each other at the start of your relationship.

The biggest symptom of lost intimacy is when we stop trying to impress our partners, stop trying to understand their emotions, and essentially give in to apathy. Exploring new hobbies together can be a highly effective way to combat this.

Your Psychologist in Elsternwick can help you overcome intimacy issues in your relationship

At the end of the day, intimacy issues in a relationship can often be alleviated simply by making time for each other, communicating, and trying new things to add a bit of excitement once complacency has set in. If you and your partner are experiencing intimacy issues, Franco Greco can help.

With years of experience as a qualified and experienced psychologist, Franco has helped countless couples overcome intimacy issues and foster a stronger emotional connection with each other.

Book an appointment online, or get in touch for more information. Your Psychologist in Elsternwick also provides evidence-based treatment for anxiety , depression , addiction , co-dependency and other unhealthy schemas.

How Long Does Schema Therapy Take?

Fri, 08 Jul 2022 06:03:27 GMT

You might have heard of schema therapy before, or recently been advised by your mental health professional that schema therapy would be a beneficial treatment method for you. But what is schema therapy, and how long does the process take before you start to see results?

Schema therapy explained

Schema therapy is a type of cognitive-behavioural therapy that was developed in the 1990s by Dr Jeffrey Young. It's based on the theory that early childhood experiences shape our beliefs about ourselves, others, and the world around us. These core beliefs can become "schemas" that influence our thoughts, emotions, and behaviours in negative ways.

The idea behind schema therapy is to help people identify and change these negative schemas so they can live healthier, happier lives. The therapy process usually takes place over the course of 12-24 months and includes a combination of individual and group therapy sessions.

How does the process for schema therapy work?

During schema therapy, you'll work with your therapist to:

Understand your schemas and how they impact your life
Explore the origins of your schemas
Learn new, more positive ways of thinking and behaving
Practice using these new coping skills in real-world situations

How long does schema therapy take before you start to see results?

Unfortunately, there's no black-and-white answer to this question. Generally, it takes at least a year for patients to see significant results, but some people may start to see improvements after just a few months of treatment.

The length of time it takes to see results depends on many factors, such as the severity of your symptoms, how well you respond to treatment, and whether you have any other mental health conditions. Some people may even find that they need to continue with therapy after they have finished their schema therapy program.

Regardless of the timespan, the point is that if you're committed to making progress in your schema therapy, you'll likely see some positive changes over time. Your therapist will work closely alongside you to develop a tailored treatment plan that caters for your specific needs and condition.

Book a consultation at Your Psychologist in Elsternwick today

Overall, schema therapy is an intensive, long-term treatment that can be very beneficial for those who struggle with mental health issues.

If you feel that you would benefit from schema therapy, don't hesitate to contact Your Psychologist to arrange an initial consultation today. Operating from our Elsternwick clinic (or remotely via TeleHealth services), we also provide tailored therapy treatment for anxiety , depression , phobias , addiction and other mental health concerns.

What To Expect From Couples Counselling

Fri, 08 Jul 2022 06:03:21 GMT

If you're considering couples counselling, you're likely wondering what to expect from the process. This can be a difficult question to answer, as every couple's experience will be different. However, we can give you an idea of what to expect based on what is typically covered in couples counselling sessions. In the points below, we'll discuss the benefits of couples counselling, what you can expect during treatment, and some of the most common issues that counsellors help couples address.

What is couples counselling and what can you expect from it?

Couples counselling is a type of therapy that is designed to help couples improve their relationship. It can be an effective way to address problems in a relationship and improve communication, conflict resolution, and intimacy. Sessions typically last for 50 minutes to an hour, and most people see improvement after attending several sessions.

How do you know if you need couples counselling or not?

Some common signs that you may benefit from treatment include feeling disconnected from your partner, frequently arguing or fighting, or feeling like you're not being heard or understood. If you're considering couples counselling, it's important to keep in mind that it takes two people to make it work. Both you and your partner need to be committed to the process in order for it to be successful.

What are the benefits of couples counselling for both individuals and the relationship as a whole?

Couples counselling can offer a number of benefits for both individuals and the relationship. As mentioned earlier, it can help improve communication, conflict resolution skills, and intimacy. But it can also help people to understand and resolve deeper underlying issues that may have been causing problems in the relationship for quite some time. Couples counselling can be an effective way to improve the overall quality of your relationship and build a stronger foundation for the future.

How does the process work and how long does it usually take to see results?

Couples counselling typically involves meeting with a therapist on a weekly basis. During each session, you and your partner will have the opportunity to discuss the issues you're experiencing in your relationship. The therapist's goal is ultimately to help you both better understand each other's needs moving forward. Most people see improvement after attending several sessions.

What are some of the most common issues that couples counsellors help people address?

Couples counselling can be helpful for addressing a wide range of issues, but some of the most common problems that people seek treatment for include communication problems, trust issues, infidelity, and financial stress. No matter what issue you're struggling with, couples counselling can offer a safe and supportive space to help you work through it.

Book a couples counselling appointment at Your Psychologist in Elsternwick today

If you and your partner are considering couples counselling, Franco Greco at Your Psychologist can help. With 20+ years’ experience working with clients to provide therapy treatment around relationships , intimacy , co-dependency and divorce mediation , he will work closely alongside you and your partner to identify the root cause of your relationship issues and equip you with the right emotional tools to overcome these issues.

Book an appointment for your initial consultation today.

The Legacy Of COVID: What Am I Seeing In The Therapy Room

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Mon, 30 Aug 2021 10:52:05 GMT

Analysing the history of pandemics reveals a number of common societal shifts resulting in frustrating people's need for autonomy, control and connection. This article explores these shifts and what I see in the therapy room.

An article in The Economist recently outlined the likely legacy of Covid-19. It was more accurately describing what we are experiencing now and likely to continue to experience for some time.

The article cites work from Professor Nicholas Christakis of Yale University - sociologist and physician - who had researched previous pandemics and their impacts, identifying four societal shifts. First, the collective threat prompts a growth in state power. Second, the threat of serious illness and closeness of death to oneself (and people close to them) brings caution and anxiety while the disease rages. Third, spurs audacity or the willingness to take risk when it has passed. Finally, the overturning of everyday life leads to a search for meaning. Professor Christakis argues that each of these shifts will mark society in its own way for some time after pandemic is under control.

Let’s explore how each of these four societal shifts are translating to my therapy room.

Collective Threat Prompts A Growth In State Power.

We have seen governments around the world exercise power not seen since World War 2. In Australia, the Commonwealth Government or more importantly the State and Territory Governments have seen an increased in mandatory power. On the one hand, the public has by and large accepted and supported at times a diminishment of civil liberties (e.g. wearing of face masks, closure of businesses, night curfews, can’t travel beyond a 5 km radius, can’t visit other people’s home). For a small but significant minority group this increase in State power perpetuates a lack of control and lack of autonomy. This translates in the therapy room as anger and frustration … “I don’t want to be controlled by Dictator Dan (referencing the Victorian Premier). Some challenge the arguments for State power and find evidence to evidence that supports a contrary view (e.g. not wearing of face masks … or the ineffectiveness of lockdowns). These clients have a need for assertiveness … as they lack control and autonomy and feel that their competence is not respected.

Caution and Anxiety While The Disease Rages

Clients also experience a significant level of vulnerability. These clients also don’t feel in control. They have an exaggerated fear of the imminent risk of them or their loved ones catching COVID-19 or spreading COVID-19. They also may have fears of financial ruin or emotional instability as they can’t cope with their usual protective factors (seeing family and friends, planning holidays etc) not being available. They often can in engage in overcontrolling protective coping to minimise the risks.

Willingness To Take Risks When It Has Passed

Psychologists have found that people's approaches to decision-making tend to fit into one of two categories: you are either a maximiser - a person who strives to make a choice that will give them the maximum benefit later on - or a satisficer, whose choices are determined by more modest criteria and nothing more.

There are clients who when COVID-19 risks had decreased or lockdown had lifted, engaged in more audacious or risky behaviour. They engage in more satisfier behaviour. Spending more money … engaging in more social activity and letting go of COVID rules such as social distancing … not hand sanitizing.

A Search for Meaning

There are other clients who seek a deeper sense of their lives and their relationships and engage - in what Abraham Maslow called

"the being realm." Instead of being driven by fears, anxieties, suspicions, and the constant need to make demands on reality ("the deficiency realm"), one is more accepting and loving of oneself and others. Seeing reality more clearly, growth-wisdom is more about “What choices will lead me to greater integration and wholeness?” rather than “How can I defend myself so that I can feel safe and secure?”

Summary

While I have outlined these four COVID-19 legacies as four distinct societal shifts, the way people experience them and cope with them will be different. Some will response to one or two or three or all of these societal shifts. It is important in therapy to understand their impact, how we cope and the choices available to us in being adaptive to their impacts.

Do We Feel Better When We Behave More Extraverted Than What We Are?

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Tue, 20 Jul 2021 09:29:33 GMT

Research has shown many benefits to extraversion. If you’re not naturally extraverted, however, these wellbeing benefits are not necessarily out of reach.

A number of studies have found that extraverts at work are: 1) more motivated, 2) experience more positive emotions, 3) work harder, 4) have fewer adverse experiences at work, and 5) associated with more creative thinking.

If you’re not disposed to being extravert, are wellbeing benefits out of reach your reach?

In his new book, Be Who You Want , Dr Christian Jarrett argues that contrary to the old adage, not only can the leopard change their spots, they can swap them for stripes, and that they can do so to his own advantage. He outlines evidence-based ways to change each of the main five personality traits, including how to become more emotionally stable, extrovert and open-minded.

A recent study , provides support for this argument. The researchers found that higher-than-normal levels of extraversion-related behaviours are associated with more positive feelings — even for those who aren’t extraverted to begin with.

Assessing participants over two different time periods showed that participants: who behaved:

In a more introverted way than they usually do experienced lower levels of positive feeling.
More extraverted than usual - even when their average level of extraversion was not high - they had higher levels of positive feeling. This suggests that behaving in an extraverted way may increase feelings of wellbeing.

The researchers concluded that behaving in a more extraverted manner than normal did not seem to have negative impacts, even for the more introverted participants, in the longer term.

However some studies have found less clear-cut benefits: even if introverts experienced momentary gains in positive affect. The positive impacts didn’t last and were subsequently associated with fatigue and negative emotions.

So how can they someone engage in more extraverted behaviour, if they are introverted without costs? Another study examined participants in a 15-week intensive longitudinal design that tested whether engaging in trait-typical behaviors predicted trait change. Participants provided self-report ratings of their personality traits and were able to freely accept and complete weekly “challenges”—prewritten behavioral goals that would pull their thoughts, feelings, and behaviors in line with their desired traits.

For instance, an easy Extraversion challenge was to say “hello” to a cashier whereas a hard Extraversion challenge was to volunteer to take a leadership role, such as on a class project.

Results indicated that merely accepting behavioral challenges did not predict trait changes. Rather, only actually completing challenges (i.e., performing trait-typical behaviors) predicted trait change over time. Thus, merely wanting to change does not appear to be sufficient to evoke trait growth; successfully changing one’s personality traits may require actively and successfully implementing behaviors to change oneself.

Are you interested in exploring extraverted challenges? I will be writing more about this in the next article.

The Effect of Personality on Daily Life Emotional Processes

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Tue, 29 Jun 2021 08:59:15 GMT

Personality features are associated with individual differences in daily emotional life.

Personality features are associated with individual differences in daily emotional life, such as negative and positive affectivity, affect variability and affect reactivity.

The existing literature is somewhat mixed and inconclusive about the nature of these associations.

Komulainen, Meskanen, Lipsanen, Lahti & Iylha (2014) study aimed to shed light on what personality features represent in daily life by investigating the effect of the Five Factor traits on different daily emotional processes.

The study collected reports of daily affect and experiences from 104 healthy university students during one week of their normal lives.

Personality traits of the Five Factor model were assessed using NEO Five Factor Inventory and analyzed to determine the effect of the personality traits on daily emotional processes.

Neuroticism predicted higher negative and lower positive affect, higher affect variability, more negative subjective evaluations of daily incidents, and higher reactivity to stressors.

Conscientiousness, by contrast, predicted lower average level, variability, and reactivity of negative affect.

Agreeableness was associated with higher positive and lower negative affect, lower variability of sadness, and more positive subjective evaluations of daily incidents.

Extraversion predicted higher positive affect and more positive subjective evaluations of daily activities.

Openness had no effect on average level of affect, but predicted higher reactivity to daily stressors.

The results show that the personality features independently predict different aspects of daily emotional processes. Neuroticism was associated with all of the processes.

Identifying these processes can help us to better understand individual differences in daily emotional life.

Have You Ever Written An Autobiography Of Your Relationships?

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Thu, 06 May 2021 18:47:06 GMT

It can help you work out what are the relationship patterns that are holding you back.

People mostly "live" their relationships, gaining the experience but missing the meaning. We also tend to repeat relationship patterns?

There are several factors that contribute to our tendency to repeat unhelpful (and at dysfunctional) patterns.

We repeat whats familiar . Even though we know its unhelpful and not working well for us, we repeat behaviors because they feel familiar and we know what to expect from them.

We repeat what we learned as children. The schemas that include our beliefs, coping skills, and behavior patterns that we learned in childhood become deeply entrenched because we learned them when we were vulnerable, and our brains werent fully developed. And after years of using them, they are hard to change.

We repeat what was traumatizing with the desire to overcome it. If you felt rejected, unloved, or powerless as a child, you may recreate experiences and relationships where you feel similarly in an unconscious desire to change the outcome to heal yourself by gaining the acceptance or love of someone or to feel in control. However, we often tend to choose partners and friends who treat us as our parents did and we continue to play our part as we always have and recreate the same outcome not a different one.

Want to find out more about your relationship patterns? You might consider the following exercise, I give to my individual and couples clients with relationships issues for homework.

"Write An Autobiography Of Your Relationships."

This can begin with early expereinces with your parents, the foundational relationship, but also include relationships of "first love" or early attraction, group dating, first kiss, first committed relationship, de facto or formal marriage experiences.

Write it with a focus on the emotional highs and lows and try to get a sense of the repeating patterns.

For example, one of my clients who wrote about their realtionships, was able to track through his relationships and identify the charactersitic ways he reacted to people, such as being suspicious, had contributed to unresolved problems. He also considered his emotional reactivity (getting angry and scolding) and how it dominated some relationships that ended badly for him.

What Is Personality? It Is A Lot More Complicated Than Myers-Briggs

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Sun, 31 Jan 2021 09:39:41 GMT

When we think of personality we often think about personality assessment questionnaires like the Myers-Briggs assesses and provides specific personality types. My type is ESFP: extraversion (E), sensing (S), feeling (F), perceiving (P). However, substantial research activity has emphasised the need for a broader and more dynamic understaning of personality. This article explores the work of Professor Dan McAdams whose research has identified three layers of personality. I believe that this personality frameworks provides a fuller portrait of personality.

Professor Dan McAdams, a personality psychologist and researcher at Northwestern University (USA) has studied personality across four decades. I came across his work when I was undertaking my undergraduate studies in psychology and have been forever fascinated by personality and his work in particular. His recent articles on former Presidents Donald Trump (read more at articles in The Atlant i c ) and George W Bush provide not just a great insight into these men but his personality model.

McAdams Personality Model

McAdams proposes a three layer model of personality that include:

Dispositional traits, a person's general tendencies. For example, the Big Five personality traits (which I have previously written about) details: Openness, Conscientiousness, Extraversion, Agreeableness, and Neuroticism.
Characteristic adaptations, a person's desires, beliefs, concerns, and coping mechanisms to deal with unmet needs.
Life stories, the stories that give a life a sense of unity, meaning, and purpose. This is known as Narrative identity.

In this model, McAdams argues that individual differences in personality may be described in terms of these three different levels. Let discuss these three layers in more detail.

Layer 1: Dispositional Traits - Self As the Social Actor

This layer describes the kind of person you are. This layer describes stable, basic and most recogniseable aspects of you as a person.

Function

This layer identifies traits that sketch your behavioural outline and shapes the style of your actions and behavioural tendencies. They empahsise vairiances in people's behavioural and emotional adjustment to, and engagement with, the social world. These traits also act as major source of information in making comparative assessments of peoples social performances.

Development Trajectory

This layer appears in early childhood (2-3 years) and is consistent in functioning across situations and time from mid-adolescence. It emerges from the interaction between genetic endownment (20-30% of this layer is inherited based on identifical twins separated at birth studies) and early life experiences.

How Is It Measured?

Measured through questionnaires like the BIG Five (NEO-PI-3), Big Six (HEXACO) and other personality questionnaires like the Hogan Inventory.

Overall, this layer says much about how you regulate yourself across context and time, and your effectivness to get along with others (social acceptance) and ahead of (social status) those around us.

For example, in terms of Big Five factor of Neuroticism, an:

emotional stable child is 'unflappable', able to clam down quickly, often in a good mood and happy.
emotional unstable child responds quickly to averse environemnt, becomes agitated easily and is slow to calm.

However, to capture your personality, traits are limited and can only describe you in your general tendencies ... but we are not just our basic tendencies ... we have motivations ... goals ... needs. Your set of predispostions influences the way you experence your environment in specific ways.

Layer 2: Characteristics Adaptation - Self As Motivated Agent

This layer describes what people want and value. This layer describes the personal adaptations a person makes to developmental challenges and motivations and goals.

Function

This layer fills the detail that layer 1 sketches and reflects the dynamic personality. These motivaton, goals and needs influence our expectations and investment in certain behaviours (such as probem solving, personal strivings, coping strategies and defence mechanism).

Devlopment Trajectory

This layer appears in mid-late childhood (7-9 years) and may change noticelably over the life course. More so than traits, the adaptations are activated and shaped by early social demands (through our parents, peers and broader social environment) and speaks to what we want and value to form our identify. It also highlights, life methods we develop and employ to meet these intentions, and we each respond to events in predictable ways across the different contexts, roles and stage of our lives. This layer we not constrained by behavioural 'trait' tendencies - such as 'I am always anxious or fearful' - but I need to learn that not all situations are fearful ... you adapt coping mechanisms to recognise and appraise these situations correctly.

How Is It Measured?

Measured through understanding motives. goals, values, beliefs , relational modes, coping strategies and defence mechanisms.

So, while people can be understood in terms of dispostional triats, they can also be defined through goals, values and needs - each developing differenty over time. However, people are not known well enough unless a third layer is considered and integrated ... our self-narrative perspective. McAdams recognised that people vary in respect of their personal narratives they construct to define what their lives mean.

Layer 3: Narrative Identity - Self As the Autobiographical Social Author

This layer describes how a person considers onself to be. In this layer, the person seeks to internalise and evolve their narrative and story by integrating the past, present and future and seeking coherence, purpose and meaning.

Function

This layer tell a person what their lives means in time and context. It provides a menu of life events (high, low and turning points) and stories, metaphors and images.

Development Trajectory

This layer appears in adolescence and emerging adulthood (15-25 years) with lifestories changing substantially over timeand is consitent in functioning across situations and time from mid-adolescence. By the time we reach late adolesences and our early 20s, we become autobiographical authors, who are able to derive meaning, coherence and purpose from life events that define who we are ... how we came to be ... and where we are heading.

For example, the person with an emotional anxious disposition or tendency can adapt to situations to more effectively cope with anxious provoking situations and then forms their narrative that:

I am an anxious person
I can manage this or cope with this anxiety soemof the time.
Through a low life point it a tunring point that made me realise I needed help and I am am getting better at doing this.

How Is It Measured?

Measured through self-defining memories and recurrent themes - such as agency, communion, redemption, contamination, power and intimacy.

In the next few weeks I will be providing personality portraits based on McAdams personality model and framework. I will be introducing my new podcast series that monthly provides an interview of public figures and leaders where I:

explore their traits, motivations and needs, and how they narrate their life; and
provide them a detailed portrait of their personality.

Personality Isn't Permanent

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Wed, 27 Jan 2021 03:02:09 GMT

Benjamin Hardy argues that contrary to what we might have heard, personalities aren't innate or fixed. They are constantly evolving, and that's a process you can shape.

According to Hardy, there are a number of factors that contribute to personality being perceived as static.

We Can't Anticipate Future Change Well

Personality modifies over time, but we struggle to anticipate the inevitability of more transformation in the future. Hardy cites research undertaken by Prof Daniel Gilbert - psychologist at Harvard University - whose research found that people don't expect major change in their futures. This is known as end of history illusion which suggests that we can usually recognse that we've changed in the past but that we wont change going forward.

The Idea Of An Authentic Self Holds Us Back

This idea that we have an authentic self and that we're at our best when we are true to our self or what is natural or what we feel comfortable keeps us in the comfortable zone. Hardy uses the example of Prof Adam Grant - psychology professor at Wharton School - who was afraid of public speaking. He didn't want to stay true to his true self (his terrified self) - he wanted to grow becoming an infuential lecturer and public speaker.

Understanding Why You Do What You Do Is Important

Hardy argues that personality - rather than just being innate and unchanging - reflects what we do ... in other word ... personality is shaped by what we spend our time doing. Change that and you'll chnge who you are. Our behaviour is goal driven ... you just don't do stuff at random ... everything you do has an ultimate end or objective.

Committing To A Single Goal Increases Success of Change.

Citing Charles Duhigg who wrote The Power of Habit who argues that by cultivating one defining habit - a keystone habit - can improve other areas of your life. For example, a writer who commits to getting a certain numbe rof pages written every day might suddenly get more commissions, which means more income and more self-confidence. Whatever your goal, the key is to keep it singular and focussed. The clearer the goal, the more likely you are to keep it in your sights and, ultimately, hit your target.

Changing The Narrative About Your Past Can Alter Your Future

This connects to Prof Dan McAdams work on personality who argues that there are three layers to personality. Dispositional traits - like the Big Five - is what is commonly viewed narrowly as personality - is the first layer of personality. Goals and motivation - the second layer of personality - and influence and shift behaviour that we can be predisposed or more comfortable continuing. Our goals and motivation help and drive us to move ... shift ... and change. The third layer is our capacity to change the narrative about our past and current situation - by reframing our story or the story we are telling himself - and foster a new future narrative or story..

In next my next blog article I will be writing more about McAdams' three layers of personality.

What Kind Of A Personality Should The Ideal Politician Have?

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Tue, 27 Oct 2020 09:28:47 GMT

With the US Election looming, I explore what makes voters prefer a certain type of politician? In particular the role of the personality.

Contemporary politics has shown that political elections and campaigning has become increasingly personalized over time, i.e., a party’s fortune more than ever before depend on its leading figures.

Politicians’ personality traits (refer to a previous blog article where I outline different personality dimensions) have typically been studied via actual politicians’ self-assessments or expert ratings or voters’ ratings or speech and statement analyses of leaders.

This body of research, conducted in different countries, unequivocally finds that politicians in office score on average higher than the normal population on the traits of extraversion and emotional stability but also on honesty-humility . However, the latter finding may carry socially desirable content and disagrees with voters’ perceptions that often suggest greater narcissism in politicians, i.e., being low on honesty-humility . On the other traits, such as openness, agreeableness and conscientiousness there is less agreement.

Recent Research

Recent research examined the role of politicians’ personality traits as a useful cue for voters that can activate schematic knowledge about a politician’s political leanings and leadership styles.

More specifically, a candidate’s personality traits is used as a short-cut by voters to assess what candidates are going to do during their term in office (i.e., ideological leanings) and how they are going to do it (i.e., conduct in office).

The study examining German and Austrian elections and campaigning started with the assumption that a politician’s personality is a powerful anchoring cue and heuristic in that regard. Such a heuristic might become even more decisive in a world where candidates use personalized communication and campaigning through various social media channels. In doing so, candidates themselves serve as the faces of their parties, which allows and forces candidates to constantly create images of themselves. From such images, voters can infer the personality traits of candidates that are—in analogy to parties’ ideological leanings—relatively stable individual differences in behaviors that allow voters to extrapolate the what and how of politicians’ likely future behavior.

This leads us to develop two principles that guide voters’ preferences for personality traits in politicians.

First, we contend that voters expect politicians to be more capable or “better” than themselves on traits associated with leadership (the “desired leadership traits” principle).

Second, we contend that voters seek representation by candidates who exhibit personality congruence with their own personality (the “voter-politician congruence” principle). This is partly due to the sheer emotional liking of likeness that allows for identification with the candidate.

Key Findings Of The Recent Research

Study research results show that, when compared to the general population, voters want politicians to be more emotionally stable, extravert-assertive, more deliberate-conscientious and open, more honest, but also somewhat more disagreeable—many of the traits associated with leadership, political ambition, and higher media visibility.

Secondly, the study demonstrated that greater Social Dominance Orientation (an orientation to a tribe of social group maintaining its power) partly explains (mediates) a preference for politicians who score low on agreeableness. While greater Right Wing Authoritarianism (conventionalism, submission to authorities, and a desire to punish offenders and others that constitute a threat to law and order) partly explains a preference for politicians low on openness and high on conscientiousness.

Implications For The US Election (And Future Elections)

1) Ideology is still important

One could be tempted to conclude that political campaign content is taking a backseat as individual personalities are increasingly superseding parties as cues and targets in political elections. The study argues that, on the contrary, people’s vote choice is not necessarily becoming less political when voters shift from choosing between parties to choosing between candidates, since personality is not void of ideologically relevant content. As we have shown, ideological leanings shape preferences for politicians’ personalities.

2) Aspiration for the future is still important in leaders

Voters will demand certain traits from their leaders, who are expected to accomplish certain tasks and navigate the country into a stable and prosperous future.

3) Voters seek leaders who are similar and more capable them

Voters generally want to be represented by their politicians, i.e., seek similarity, but on traits that are conventionally associated with good leadership, they expect politicians to be more capable than themselves.

4) Desirability of a leader personality is mediated by voter similarity and voter ideology

Similarity on openness, conscientiousness, and agreeableness is partially explained—and thus partially mediated—by ideological beliefs (SDO, RWA). This lends support to several theories arguing that our personality is an organizing system that translates into motivational goals or values, including SDO and RWA, which eventually guide ideological orientations and political behavior.

How Are Needs and Basic Emotions Connected?

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Tue, 27 Oct 2020 00:36:22 GMT

This is the second article in the series in Understanding Core Emotional Needs .

Paul Ekman and Wallace Friesen (1975) developed taxonomy for characterizing every conceivable facial expression. From his research, Ekman identified six basic emotions: happiness, surprise, sadness, afraid, disgust, and anger.

The four negative basic emotions operate like red lights on a dashboard, indicating that something is wrong. Primarily, frustrations of the attachment needs leads to feelings of fear or sadness. Disgust or anger indicate frustrations of the need for assertiveness or control. Joy expressed through happiness and surprise indicates that the alarm system was successfully downregulated and that all needs have been adequately met.

Reactions To Needs Frustration

How can we deal with a with threatening situation to downregulate our alarm system? There are four general ways to escape the threat and calm down. In schema therapy, we call these reaction tendencies coping styles:

Fight , if we see a chance to win and become 'top dog.' This is called the assertive way to gain autonomy, control, dominance, and respect.
Flight , as an active escape ... this means overt avoidance and self-soothing activities.
Freeze , or passively withdraw by emotionally detaching numbing, or dissociating.
Follow , or if the opponent appears stronger, in order to remain part of the group. This is called an attachment way to achieve harmony, resonance, and a loving connection.

Needs Frustration and Coping Styles

The Figure below puts all these pieces together in a framework that includes needs, level of activation, reaction tendencies, and the balanced way to joy and relaxation. This is the theoretical bedrock that underpins the schema therapy interventions.

It recognises that:

Anger drives us to fight.
Disgust makes us turn away and care for ourselves (flight)
When we are feeling sad, we tend to withdraw (freeze).
Fear pulls us more to the submission side (surrender).
The downside of these solutions is that they can become unbalanced when we overuse them and neglect the other pole of the needs spectrum, leading to needs frustration and the maintenance of schemas.
Only when we are to find a flexible solution with mutually changing roles do we feel balanced and gain the possibility of experiencing positive effect (Healthy Adult/Child)

What Are Your Emotional Core Needs? | Discover More

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Mon, 19 Oct 2020 02:26:38 GMT

Emotional core needs are fundamental, universal and non-negotiable ... and often confused with wants. This is the first in a series of articles on Understanding Core Emotional Needs .

Needs are fundamental, universal and non-negotiable. A large body of research indicates that the ongoing frustration of core emotional needs detrimentally affects childhood development and leads to immediate long-term on physical and psychological well-being.

System of Needs - Maslow

Humanistic psychologist, Abraham Maslow outlined a range of needs that is beautifully captured and reframed (in the way Maslow originally conceptualised his work) by Professor Scott Barry Kaufman, in his book Transcend . Kaufman’s aim is to promote the field of humanistic psychology by revisiting and upgrading the work of Abraham Maslow. Maslow’s “hierarchy of needs,” which was later turned into a pyramid “by a management consultant in the sixties” (xxix), became famous as a way of understanding both the bare necessities of healthy living as well as “higher” modes of being such as self-actualization.

Kaufman’s research reveals that, toward the end of his life, Maslow realized that self-actualization wasn’t the upper limit of human potential, and “became convinced that healthy self-actualization is actually a bridge to transcendence” (xiv).

Kaufman’s starting point is to examine how best to get people to live more in what Maslow called the “Being-Realm,” or “B-realm” for short. This is accomplished primarily by approaching life with a mindset focused on growth rather than deficiency. Kaufman suggests that thinking about one’s life journey as a sailboat (reflected in the figure below) - rather than a pyramid of needs - cutting across a vast ocean can help us access the B-realm with more consistency and ease:

Need for Safety

The need for safety is tied to a particular form of meaning in life. Psychologists have identified three different forms of meaning: coherence, purpose, and mattering. Purpose involves a motivation to realize future-oriented and valued life goals. Mattering consists of the extent to which people feel that their existence and actions in the world are significant, important, and valuable.

Need for Connection

The need for connection actually consists of two subneeds: (a) The need to belong, to be liked, to be accepted, and (b) The need for intimacy, for mutuality, for relatedness.

Need for Self-esteem

The most important attitude we have may be the attitude we have toward ourselves. A basic sense of self-worth and confidence in the effectiveness of our actions provides a fundamental foundation for growth. Self-esteem is one of the strongest correlates of life satisfaction (although the strength of the correlation differs based on culture), and low self-esteem is one of the biggest risk factors for depression.

Need for Exploration

People who score high in the general tendency toward exploration are not only driven to engage in behavioral forms of exploration but also tend to get energized through the possibility of discovering new information and extracting meaning and growth from their experiences. These ‘cognitive needs,’ as Maslow referred to them, are just as important as the other human needs for becoming a whole person."

Need for Love

To have the capacity to give love to those whom we don’t even have direct contact with, or feel a personal connection to, is a major pathway to a life of greater health, vitality, meaning, and growth as a whole person, not to mention a way of feeling more secure.

Need for Purpose

The need for purpose can be defined as the need for an overarching aspiration that energizes one’s efforts and provides a central source of meaning and significance in one’s life. Having a purpose often causes a fundamental reordering of the most central motives associated with the self. Things that once preoccupied you suddenly cause you little concern and may even seem trivial.

Needs: Deci and Ryan

Self-Determination is a theory of human motivation developed by psychologists Edward Deci and Richard Ryan Motivation, in this context, is what moves us to act. The theory looks at the inherent, positive human tendency to move towards growth, and outlines three core needs which facilitate that growth. Those needs are Autonomy, Competence and Relatedness:

1) Competence – need to feel like we’ve done a good job.

2) Autonomy – need to feel like we have control over what we do.

Relatedness – need to have meaningful relationships and interactions with other people).

Needs: Jeffrey Young

Dr Jeffrey Young Jeffery - founder of Schema Therapy - conceptualised five basic needs:

Secure attachments to others (includes safety, stability, nurturance, and acceptance).
Autonomy, competence, and sense of identity.
Freedom to express valid needs and emotions.
Spontaneity and play.
Realistic limits and self-control

Young believes that these needs are universal. Everyone has them, although some individuals have stronger needs than others.

A psychologically healthy individual is one who can adaptively meet these core emotional needs. The interaction between the child’s innate temperament and early environment results in the frustration, rather than gratification, of these basic needs.

The goal of schema therapy is to help people find adaptive ways to meet their core emotional needs. All of our interventions are means to this end.

A Simplified Model of Needs

Roediger, Stevens and Brockman provides a simplified model of needs that integrate Maslow, Deci & Ryan and Young.

They present a models that describes the needs for attachment (connection or relatedness) and assertiveness (autonomy, competence and control) as poles in the psychological, physiological and social orientation of the person. This is provided in more detail in the table below.

Attachment and assertiveness have an inverse relationship with one another: the more you strive for attachment, the more you have to sacrifice assertiveness and autonomy, and vice versa. The aim is for good and flexible balance between them - this can be difficult.

Alarm System

When we feel individually threatened, or when our attachment needs are constantly frustrated, our alarm system gets activated, providing us with the energy to fight or flee. If we are energetic and strong enough, being excluded or dominated can create a secondary anger, driving us to stand up for our rights. Thus we can try standing on our assertiveness leg in order to get the situation under control. Successful social interaction is based on a good and flexible balance between these two poles of human behaviour.

My next article will focus on How Are Needs and Basic Emotions Connected.

Is Your Personality Impacting on Your Work Performance?

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Mon, 05 Oct 2020 23:27:01 GMT

Personality is a key driver a person's workplace mood and emotions

Researchers who have extensively studied how people behave in workplaces generally emphasize that personalities do not change.

"Stability in personality matters for organisations because it helps us understand people’s behavior in many work-related domains, including employee performance, social networks, employee withdrawal, and employee retention,” according to an Academy of Management Annals article.

Workplace-related research says the “Big Five” personality traits—neuroticism, extraversion, openness to experience, agreeableness, and conscientiousness—are “basic dispositions that ... endure through adulthood. Refer to my article that provides more information on the "Big Five."

Personality Drivers and Consequences of Workplace Mood

The following study examined predictors and outcomes of individual mood variability in the workplace.

D uring a 3‐month weekly study, they collected data on personality (extraversion and neuroticism), positive and negative workplace mood, and job performance from 357 participants.

The study revealed a positive relationship between neuroticism and individual variability in negative mood, which in turn predicted individual variability in performance.

Results contribute to the understanding differences in individual mood variability, and they suggest expanding the mood – performance relationship from a static perspective to an individual dispersion perspective.

From a practical point of view, their results identify neuroticism as a potential risk factor for unstable performance, but they also give room for fostering predictable performance.

Key Take-outs

Individuals with higher neuroticism may be prone to fluctuations in negative mood at work and indirectly to inconsistent performance – this highlights the necessity of personality assessment in both personnel selection and development.

Interventions aimed at stabilizing mood can be an effective lever for stabilizing work performance. You read more of interventions at my article on using Acceptance Commitment Therapy

What Is Your Emotional Tolerance Window?

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Tue, 18 Aug 2020 01:13:52 GMT

Our chances to learn something new depends on our level of emotional activation

The diagram at the bottom of this articles shows that three zones we can often find ourselves in: the window of emotional tolerance, hypo-arousal and hyper-arousal.

When a person is within their window of tolerance, it is generally the case that the brain is functioning well and can effectively process stimuli. That person is likely to be able to reflect, think rationally, and make decisions calmly without feeling either overwhelmed or withdrawn.

During times of extreme stress, people often experience periods of either hyper- or hypo-arousal.

Hyper-arousal, otherwise known as the fight/flight response, is often characterized by hypervigilance, feelings of anxiety and/or panic, and racing thoughts. T his what psychologist Daniel Goleman called emotional hijacking. No change can occur in this either

Hypo-arousal, or a freeze response, may cause feelings of emotional numbness, emptiness, or paralysis.

Emotional Learning

Joseph Le Doux described two major pathways for processing incoming information:

The so-called lower (but faster) pathway in the brain's limbic system (reflect the older stage in the development of the brain), driven primarily by precognitive (basic emotions). This pathway is needs based, driven by contingencies; and
the slower pathway, including cognitive procedures, in the cortical areas of the brain.

Early Experiences Creates Emotional Memories

Every intensive emotional experience in childhood leads to imprints in the evolving neural pathways of the child and builds up schemas.

Schema - combining with one's temperament and early experience - develop early in life ... when most of the cortical anatomical structures are built. Traumatic childhood experiences lead not only to bad memories ... but to lasting impacts on brain development. Schemas carry these emotional wounds.

A schema is like a footpath in the neural structure of the brain. They cannot be deleted. They are like a short video clip storing early childhood memories along with scenes of intense emotions and bodily reactions. Once a schema is activated, a person can acts in ways automatic and reflect emotional memories as seen through a child's eyes.

Changing Schemas

By developing additional pathways we can build - by learning - new neural roads and not be emotionally hijacked.

How is this done in therapy. Schemas need to be activated to be transformed and rescripted. In therapy, we have to create the environment to build new connections and emotional experiences.

This can not be achieved through purely cognitive interventions but can be done with imagery work when emotions get readily activated. Corrective emotional experiences lay the new neural tracks (in terms of positive schemas) for new paths to take on a behavioural level. Good intentions need a neural bedrock to be able to lead to a new behaviour. This is why experiential techniques and behaviour experiments are privotal in therapy.

Only when the level of activation stays within the so-called emotional tolerance window is new information processed.

As a therapist it is my role to keep the level of activation high enough so that key schemas get activated, but low enough to prevent the clients from shutting down.

I hope this explains the window of tolerance and why it is important in therapy and learning.

Being In A Relationship With A Narcissist

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Tue, 14 Jul 2020 22:10:58 GMT

Are you in a narcissist-self sacrifice relationship chemistry?

Narcissist or people who have an entitlement schema are attracted to empaths or people with a self sacrifice schema .

But what is it that attracts the empath to a narcissist? The short answer is that empaths are drawn to the vulnerable child-like part of the narcissist.

Schemas are the core beliefs we develop as a result of our early childhood interactions. They can inform many things about our adult lives, including the way we approach romantic relationships.

“Schema chemistry” refers to the human tendency to be drawn to people who reinforce our own core beliefs.

A person with a self-sacrifice schema may notice a pattern of being with partners who view their own worth and needs as a priority in any situation—in other words, partners who have an entitlement schema. That’s because the self-sacrifice schema and entitlement schema reinforce each other.

Self Sacrificing People

If you have a self-sacrifice schema, these characteristics may describe how you interact in intimate relationships:

You prioritize taking care of other people above yourself.
You feel overly responsible for other people’s feelings and may put your own feelings aside.
Taking the blame. You claim responsibility for other people’s behaviors.
You struggle with asking for what you need. You feel guilty or selfish if you take your own needs a priority.
You may be afraid to ever do this because you sense that your partner may dismiss your needs, get angry at your request, or even leave you.

You may be drawn to relationships with partners who have characteristics of an entitlement schema, such as:

They feel entitled to get what they want in any situation.
They use controlling and manipulative tactics to get what they want.
They see themselves as special—the rules don’t apply to them.
They believe they are victims and should not be accountable for their own actions.

Narcissist or Entitlement Schema People

P eople with an entitlement schema are drawn to self-sacrificers who are unlikely to challenge the entitled partner’s beliefs. Since the entitled person’s needs are always getting met, that person has no incentive to change the dynamic.

What Can I Do to Get My Needs Met?

Dr Avigail Lev has written about strategies for people with a self-sacrificing schema to learn how to assert themselves in their relationship so that it is rewarding and fulfilling for them —not just for their partner.

Here are some of the skills that I help my clients build:

Discern between needs and wants. Identify your needs and recognize them as non-negotiable, while also recognizing your wants as negotiable and becoming more flexible with your requests.
Practice saying “no.” No matter how small a request is, try saying “Maybe, let me think about it” instead of automatically complying with the request. Give yourself more time to explore whether it’s something you’re willing to do, rather than agreeing out of fear or guilt.
Clarify and prioritize your needs. What is most important to you in a relationship—honesty, affection, encouragement? What is non-negotiable—respect, safety, fidelity? It’s okay to have one or two “deal-breaker” needs that absolutely must be met in order for you to continue in the relationship.
Remember, a healthy relationship is one in which both partners are able to express needs on an equal basis without fear of retaliation or abandonment. A trained therapist can help both you and your partner to understand and practice relationship skills that create a balanced, fair, and reciprocal dynamic between the two of you.

Why Do We Resist Therapy - It Is Not Just About The Client

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Wed, 01 Jul 2020 08:10:24 GMT

If a client is resisting therapy ... the therapist needs to reflect ... how am I contributing to this outcome?

Why Do Clients Resist Therapy?

Therapy can be hard. It is hard because, clients recognise that change is difficult, that we resist knowing things about ourselves; and as much as we want to change our lives, we may also find change frightening and anxiety-provoking.

Recognising these complicated and often unwelcome truths is crucial to effective therapeutic work of all kinds.’

In an article, 15 Ways You Are Resisting Therapy or Recovery by Támara Hill - a psychologist - outlines that the ways some clients m ay be resisting therapy.

I have listed a few I see in my own practice. If you have been to therapy and not found it useful ... do any of the following resonate with you?

Clients intellectualise sessions: Intellectualising sessions and staying “in your head” is sometimes a way to avoid uncomfortable emotions or thoughts, and change. It is so much easier to think things through and try to make logical sense out of them than to explore emotions, admit hurt feelings, and accept emotions. In the long-term, therapy will fail because therapy is not all about grand ideas and/or blocking emotions.

Clients who refuse to explore their emotions and thoughts: As stated above, therapy is supposed to focus on both thoughts and emotions and being able to accept or work through what is occurring in your life. If you stay “in your head” each and every session, you can guarantee you will remain in the same place until you are ready to take a leap of faith. It is very hard but worth it in the end.

Sessions are different : Some clients will distract and try to draw attention away from the main issue by coming to therapy each week with a different problem or a new subject. It is okay to spend a few minutes talking about a new problem or concern you may have. But if the entire session is focused on a new problem or concern, week after week, you may be resisting something.

Clients rely on your therapist a lot : Therapists can be great support, especially when life makes us feel alone, afraid, or uncertain. For many clients, primarily adults, their therapist can be similar to a friend, a family member, or a mentor. The therapist-client relationship can develop in such a way that bonding may occur. But if you are relying wholeheartedly on your therapist for emotional support, there may be a deeper issue occurring. Some examples include: transference/counter-transference, fear of becoming more independent, fear or uncertainty, attraction, etc.

Clients who cancel sessions, reschedule, or stall: Cancelling sessions, rescheduling, playing phone tag, stalling or showing up late to sessions can all be signs of resistance. If these things happen on a frequent basis, a therapist cannot support a client in moving forward. In fact, this is often a recipe for a therapist to terminate therapy or refer a client to another therapist, especially if these behaviors are chronic.

Clients blame or distract: Some clients blame everyone else but themselves and get “stuck” in a victim’s mindset. Sadly, these clients are often afraid of acknowledging weaknesses in themselves. A narcissistic personality may have a great deal of trouble taking responsibility for anything he/she may have done. A therapist who points this out or holds a client accountable may begin to see resistance. Resistance may include blaming the therapist or others, getting stuck in the victim role, accusing others, or refusing to look at the truth.

Exploring Client (and Your) Resistance Is Effective Therapy

If a client is resisting therapy ... the therapist needs to see therapy as a relationship ... and they may be contributing to it.

When I see resistance from a client, I need to reflect on what I am doing as a therapist - or sometimes not doing.

Undertaking regular supervision with Associate Professor Steven Theiler and Dr Rob Brockman is important to reflect on your practice.

I have also developed a checklist to help reflect on my practice. Other therapists and indeed clients could use this checklist to assess therapy resistance as well).

The checklist includes the following questions:

Have I developed rapport with the client?
Am I imposing my own agenda onto client?
Am I being too inflexible?
Am I not raising this resistance as an issue?
Have I not explored their fears and early life “core beliefs or schemas” or experiences?
Am I not being engaged with the client because I am creating distance. Is this countertransference - occurs when a therapist transfers emotions to a person in therapy.

As a psychologist, my approach focuses on working with clients to get to the root cause of the issue/s that they are confronted with.

We take it for granted - that clients come to see a psychologist with problems that stem from deep seated issues:

traumatic experiences that result in emotional and physical symptoms;
early child attachment that negatively impact on the way we relate to others;
difficult, ambivalent feelings about our parents and so on.

All forms of psychotherapy take these and many other ideas – including the basic idea that mental distress can be helped by talking! – as given.’

It is important for psychologists to understand the genesis of a client's issues of resistance. It also requires psychologists to look deep in themselves as well ... to how they might be contributing to the issues of resistance.

Six Skills You Need to Get Unstuck

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Tue, 23 Jun 2020 23:49:23 GMT

Achieve psychological flexibility and positive change in your life

I often see clients either in my therapy or executive practice who feel unstuck.

Recently, a client I see in my consulting room said, "Franco I don't know why I can get stuck ... its like I can't shift the way I am thinking about my life!"

Sadly, I hear this quite a lot from my clients!

They are at times strongly attached to a story about themselves that they can't shake free from.

They have an inflexibility or rigidity to the way they see their life, and time and time again try the same ways of solving their problems. By either changing relationships ... changing jobs ... drinking alcohol or taking drugs.

They attempt to avoid, suppress or fight against their uncomfortable feelings of pain ... anger ... frustrations ... shame ... sadness ... guilt.

Being absorbed in their everyday hassles ... like they are in autopilot ... they loss sight of their values ... what is important ... and as a consequence can't commit to change or live life like they are.

Do you recognise yourself ... or someone you know?

Acceptance & Commitment Therapy

I regularly listen to The Psychology Podcast , hosted by Dr Scott Barry Kaufman. He recently interviewed Dr Steven Hayes - the originator of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Dr Hayes talked about his life and the development of ACT and his new book, The Liberated Mind: the essential guide to ACT.

The book outlines six steps or pivots to develop what Dr Hayes coined 'psychological flexibility.'

Psychological flexibility refers to one’s ability to focus on the present moment fully and, according to what the situation affords, change or persist with behavior in the pursuit of goals and values.

We become psychological inflexible when we choose rigid and inflexible reactions over chosen values in guiding behaviour. This often occurs when individuals attempt to avoid experiencing as I discussed earlier emotional pain ... sadness ... guilt and shame. This can lead to people feeling depressed and anxious and engaging in unhelpful behaviours.

The Six Pivots

Psychological flexibility involves six skills, building each of these involves its own pivot away from rigid mental processes.

Central to understanding why the pivots are so powerful is that each of the rigid ways in which our minds trap us in unhealthy patterns of thinking and behaving contains a healthy yearning hidden deep within it.

We are doing the wrong things, but for the right reasons - because we want our lives to have important qualities.

The flexibility pivots allow us to redirect that hidden yearning towards a more open and flexible way of being that can actually satisfy the yearning.

Here is a brief introduction to each of the skills and the yearning each pivot redirects:

Defusion - requires pivoting from fusion (buying into your thoughts tell you and letting what they say over-determine what you do) to defusion (not connecting with them). We connect to thoughts as a way of finding coherence and understanding. The pivot of just noticing the act of thinking without diving into it ... distancing yourself from our thoughts ... redirects our need to for coherence and understanding.
Self - requires pivoting from remaining loyal to a story about ourselves that are not helpful, to a perspective taking self. Sometimes we have a story abut who we are and what others are in relation to us. Sometimes these stories are helpful. Sometimes these stories are not helpful ... we hold on to them to tightly ... like I always fail ... or people don't like me. We do this to satisfy a need to connect and belong. The alternative to connecting to these stories is to take some perspective-taking - a sense of observing, witnessing or being aware that we are more than then the stories we tell ourselves.
Acceptance - requires pivoting from expereintial avoidance (running away form or attempting to control our personal feelings like thoughts, feelings, sensations) to accepting that we actually think, feel and sense. This redirects our need to feel and not avoid.
Presence - requires pivoting from rigid attention driven by the past (ruminating about things that have happened) and future (worrying about what might happen) to being attentive to what is happening now. This pivot redirects our need to for orientation. We often fear becoming lost, and we tend to look to the past and the future to be oriented. But instead, we find ourselves in a mental fog of what was or what will be, when there is really only what is. We have a choice to experience the right now at every moment.
Values - requires pivoting from socially compliant goals (things we think we should do or have to do) to chosen values (things we meaningfully connect to or want to do in order live our lives). Values are a more effective and sustainable source of motivation and This pivot seeks to redirect to the need for self-direction and purpose.
Action - requires pivoting from not doing or putting off to committed actions. Its about recognising that change requires some action ... some small steps of behave to change. I see this as being the hardest one for clients to enact. Why? When clients seek to change and don't succeed and reflect on why, they often set high expectations or seek perfect outcomes. Building good habits is a moment-to-moment process. The Action pivot focuses us on the process of competently and continuously building habits in small steps linked to the construction of habits linked to our values.

In summary:

see our thoughts with enough distance that we can choose what we do next, regardless of our mind's chatter.
notice the story we're constructed of our selves and gain perspective about who we are.
allow ourselves to feel even when the feelings are painful or create a sense of vulnerability.
direct attention in an intentional way rather by mere habit, noticing what is present here and now, inside us and out.
choose the qualities of being that we want to evolve toward.
create habits that support these choices.

In the next few weeks I will be focusing on one of these pivots and post resources that will help you fostering psychological flexibility.

I hope this article has been useful. Please contact if you want to explore how these pivots might help you.

How Does Your Childhood Impact On Your Relationships?

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 04:22:57 GMT

Childhood experience has a central role in couple counselling.

We are built to be social, connected and seeking belonging. In this context, relationships have an important role in our lives .

Couples come to see me, in my private practice in Elsternwick, because they are having relationship problems. Often at the core of these relationship problems are each person's their individual beliefs and patterns of behavior. These are often shaped by early life or childhood experiences.

Schemas

There is significant research that states that individual develops core negative beliefs or schemas and this relates to the level in which their early childhood emotional needs are met.

Schemas develop in childhood and adolescence from an interplay between the child's innate temperament, and the child's ongoing damaging experiences with parents, siblings, or peers.

Dr Jeffrey Young - who developed Schema Therapy - outlines four main concepts in the Schema Therapy model are:

Early Maladaptive Schemas
Core Emotional Needs,
Schema Mode, and
Maladaptive Coping Styles.

There are 18 Early Maladaptive Schemas (EMS)- which are self-defeating, core themes or patterns that we keep repeating throughout our lives.

Early Schemas relate to the basic emotional needs of a child. When these needs are not met in childhood, schemas develop that lead to unhealthy life patterns. Each of the 18 schemas represent specific emotional needs that were not adequately met in childhood or adolescence.

Maladaptive Coping Styles are the ways the child adapts to schemas and to damaging childhood experiences. For example, some children surrender to their schemas; some find ways to block out or avoid pain; while other children fight back or overcompensate.

Schema Modes are the moment-to-moment emotional states and coping responses that we all experience. Often our schema modes are triggered by life situations that we are oversensitive to (our "emotional buttons"). Many schema modes lead us to overreact to situations, or to act in ways that end up hurting us.

What Does the Research Say

Research on the role of EMSs on romantic relationships show that schemas play an active role in adult-related conflict, divorce process, marital satisfaction, couple satisfaction and individual mate value.

A study conducted in 2012 by Dumitrescu & Rusu indicated that that individuals involved in a couple relationship, might manifest a

lower level of couple satisfaction because:

they might have the feeling that the partner cannot offer them enough emotional support and the protection they need. They might also have the belief that they will be abandoned (abandonment / instability);
they might believe that the partner does not offer them the love they deserve, and they might feel worthless (emotional deprivation, defectiveness);
they might feel isolated and different from their partners (social isolation / alienation);
they might believe that they are unable to carry out all the daily responsibilities without the help of their partner (dependence / incompetence);
they might be extremely committed to the power of their partner in order to avoid anger and abandonment (approval seeking);
they might maximize the negative aspects of their lives (pain, dead, grief, conflicts, blame, conflicts, unsolved problems, betrayals) and minimize the positive ones (negativity / pessimism).

Working with Couples

The main goals of Schema Therapy are:

To help couples strengthen their Healthy Adult mode.
Weaken their Maladaptive Coping Modes so that they can get back in touch with their core needs and feelings.
To heal their early maladptive schemas.
To break schema-driven life patterns; and eventually to get their core emotional needs met in everyday life.

What I see with a number clients who come for couple's counselling , is that one or both partners are faced with situations that trigger their schemas, they may find it hard to sufficiently meet each other's needs, show sensitivity and cognitive awareness and flexibility .

My role as therapist is to work with couples to recognise these needs and demonstrates a model of expressing loving understanding towards their past lack of fulfillment, and develop a more healthier approach or relationship with this unmet need - called the healthy adult.

I seek to educate couples to consider such moments as an intervention point to reduce the schema intensity and create a

mutually conscious relationship.

At this point, I encourage each person to start to interrogate

the existence of a specific role they always takes in relationships, the active schemas which they have, the schema-driven interactions, and the secondary gains that this match provides for them as individual and as a couple.

The schema awareness that is gained through these interrogations allows each person to better understand the factors that are effective in their relationship.

In Summary

Early maladaptive schemas impact on couples in a range of ways. They don't have their emotional need met , and each person is unable to find a healthy solution as long as they are not aware of their underlying schemas.

Helping couples move through early maladaptive schemas in relational problems enables them to understand their emotions, thinking and behaviors. This approach is extremely beneficial in conceptualising and helping couples with relationship problems .

Strategies for millennials to manage their mental health during COVID-19

Mon, 04 May 2020 06:16:22 GMT

Millennials experience higher level of loneliness, isolation and anxiety at this time.

Many people are feeling the weight of stress or impacted mental health at the moment.

I am interviewed by Glen James and John Pidgeon from My Millennial Money Podcast, where I shared some strategies on how millennials can support their mental health throughout this challenging time

Have a listen to the episode and read more info at the link here

The Importance of Fear In Public Health Compliance in the COVID-19 Pandemic

Mon, 13 Apr 2020 23:23:29 GMT

Recent research shows that functional fear predicts public health compliance and shows the importance of negative emotions and its role in coping during the pandemic.

In the current context of the global pandemic of coronavirus disease-2019 (COVID-19), health professionals are working with social scientists to inform government policy on how to slow the spread of the virus.

An increasing amount of social scientific research has looked at the role of public message framing, for instance, but few studies have thus far examined the role of individual differences in emotional and personality-based variables in predicting virus-mitigating behaviors.

In a study by Harper, Satchell, Fido & Latzman (2020) from Nottingham Trent University, people were recruited in a large international community sample (N= 324).

The participants completed measures of self-perceived risk of contracting COVID-19, fear of the virus, moral foundations, political orientation, and behavior change in response to the pandemic.

What they Found and Key Learnings

Consistently, the only predictor of positive behavior change (e.g., social distancing, improved hand hygiene) was fear of COVID-19, with no effect of politically-relevant variables.

These findings, situated within the larger literature pertaining to the often times adaptive nature of the experience of negative emotions, raise serious concerns with efforts to identify ‘mental health issues’ associated with strong emotional responses, which, for the majority of individuals, are both normative and protective.

That is, for most individuals, the anxious responses being assessed in this study may represent a normal and adaptive response to a real and present danger, that one cannot fight or flee from, within the environment (i.e., the COVID-19 pandemic).

Those working in the mental health field should be sensitive to the context in which behaviors emerge, especially when these behaviors exist in a culture of preparedness for coping with the new cultural and governmental demands that may be critical for personal and family survival.

Notwithstanding the above, it is important for mental health professionals to be attentive to the needs of individuals for whom highly emotional responses to the current pandemic, coupled with pre-existing risk factors (e.g., those with a history of mental illness), may result in pathological levels of negative emotions and related behaviors.

Indeed, increased and prolonged exposure to a community crisis, like the pandemic we are currently experiencing, has been found to result in increased maladaptive levels of anxiety leading to unnecessary behaviors associated with increased levels of impairments within individuals as well as overburdening of community resources.

Overall, the study highlights that mental health professionals have an important role to play in supporting the well-being of the public in this current time. However, it is not clear how this work is supported by the classification of rational concerns about a pandemic and the labelling of functional ‘fear’ as a psychological issue.

In Summary

The study has shown how ‘fear’ may be a normal and, crucially, functional response within this context. Specifically measures of ‘fear’ toward the new virus, consistently predicted engaging in culturally and governmentally recommended public health behaviors (e.g., improved hand hygiene and social distancing).

In light of this, it is argued by the researchers that mental health professionals would be mindful to consider the context within which negative emotional states are experienced before considering whether such emotional states are necessarily pathological.

Further, and in spite of the increasingly polarized nature of our political landscape, they found that politically relevant outcomes (i.e., self-identified orientation, and the endorsement of moral foundations) were unrelated to behavior change.

These non-significant effects highlight how universal polarization in social responses between political groups is not inevitable, and that there are some issues that unite us, rather than divide. Just as other (inter)national crises have previously brought people together, it seems that the COVID-19 pandemic has the potential to do the same, and bring people of opposing political positions together in a sense of common humanity.

References

Harper, C. A., Satchell, L., Fido, D., & Latzman, R. (2020, April 1). Functional fear predicts public health compliance in the COVID-19 pandemic. https://doi.org/10.31234/osf.io/jkfu3

Why Are We All Experiencing Video Call Fatigue?

Wed, 08 Apr 2020 05:15:39 GMT

It may have to do with 'cognitive dissonance' and the cognitive effort required to manage physical absences.

We have all - at least those of us that don’t have front line jobs - been required to work from home during this phase of COVID-19 lockdown.

The laptop, the notebook, and phone screens are the only thing keeping us connected to our social support networks and keeping us engaged in our professional world and workplaces.

But when you’re been on your umpteen Zoom or Teams or Skype meeting of the day, you are likely to feel a significant level of exhaustion.

Why are we Experiencing this Exhaustion?

Linda Kaye, a cyberpsychology researcher, suggests. “video calls are about as similar to face-to-face interactions as we have available, so in many ways you would kind of expect that the demands on us would be equivalent. But it is interesting because anecdotally a number of people have said this, and I’ve experienced this myself – that it does feel exhausting.”

“One thing that does occur to me that might explain those feelings of exhaustion is that often you can see yourself during video calls. That may put an additional level of demand on you and make you more self-conscious or aware of how you’re looking and how you’re presenting yourself. With face-to-face conversations you never really have that.”

Professor Gianpiero Petriglieri, (Associate Professor of Organisational Behaviour at INSEAD), twitted recently that:

“I spoke to an old therapist friend … and finally understood why everyone’s so exhausted after the video calls.

It’s the plausible deniability of each other’s absence.

Our minds tricked into the idea of being together when our bodies feel we’re not.”

It’s the old cognitive dissonance - when a person holds two or more contradictory beliefs, ideas, or values, or participates in an action that goes against one of these three, and experiences psychological stress because of that.

Professor Petriglieri’s therapist friend goes on to say (as reported):

“It’s easier being in each other’s presence, or in each other’s absences, than in the constant presence of each other’s absence.

Our bodies process so much context, so much information in encounters that meeting on video is being a weird kind of blindfold. We sense little and can’t imagine enough. That single deprivation requires a lot of conscious effort.

Helpful Ways to Deal with the Fatigue

Professor Petriglieri makes an observation that:

“I am finding Zoom easier if I don’t mane eye contact. Then I can mimic a distant presence, which feels more real. If I want intimacy, and we are apart, I’ll phone. And if I want to say I am thinking of you, I’ll write.”

Dr Suzanne Degges-White (refer to link below) provides some tips to manage video link interactions fatigue:

Use your phone, not your computer, to call into some of your meetings. It can be less stressful when you “show up” in voice only. When we’re not chained into posing as a “living headshot,” we can move around and step onto our porch or sit outside in the sunshine. How many of us tend to doodle at meetings? Stare out the window? Make mental to-do lists or grocery lists? When we’re a face on a screen, it’s hard to get away with a little inattention. Cut yourself some slack and “phone it in” next time. Your overstrained eyes and the muscles you use for that “attentive meeting participant face” will thank you.
Don’t schedule back-to-back meetings. Give your brain a chance to switch gears between meetings.
Take a break away from the screen between meetings and get fresh air, a glass of water, or do some jumping jacks or a quick 10-minute brisk walk—inside or marching in place.
When you’re tuning in to a business meeting, use your phone and focus on listening and taking paper-and-pen notes rather than doing “double screen duty,” when you can. Taking notes by hand has been shown to increase retention in the classroom, so take a lesson from this and focus on what is being said. Multiple video conferences in one day tend to blur into one another, just as the days do. By focusing on what is happening and writing legible notes as you go, you’ll be able to stay focused and retain what is being shared.
Make sure that your “home office” feels different from your “living area,” even if it’s the same space. Change the lighting when you go “off-the-clock” and change the playlist and ditch the coffee mug from your desk. When you feel you’re working 24/7 and are unable to leave the office to see friends, having tricks to help you feel that there’s a boundary between work and play can be important.

References

This article has used material printed on from the following sources:

Have you got Zoom fatigue? Why you’re finding video calls so exhausting p osted by Lauren Geall

https://www.stylist.co.uk/life/zoom-fatigue-video-call-virtual-drinks-exhaustion-tiring/376846

Zoom Fatigue: Don't Let Video Meetings Zap Your Energy written by Dr Suzanne Degges-White

https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/lifetime-connections/202004/zoom-fatigue-dont-let-video-meetings-zap-your-energy

COVID-19 Messaging - Don't Personalise ... Collectivise!

Sat, 14 Mar 2020 00:50:05 GMT

Is the worth appealing to individual or collective interests? What is really needed? Look at Sth Korea compared to Italy ... one a collectivist culture ... the other an individualistic culture ... different responses ... different outcomes.

In Italy, millions are locked down and more than 1,000 people have died from the coronavirus. In South Korea, hit by the disease at about the same time, only a few thousand are quarantined and 67 people have died. As the virus courses through the world, the story of two outbreaks illustrates a coming problem for countries now grappling with an explosion in cases.

Both countries saw their first cases of the disease called Covid-19 in late January. South Korea has since reported 67 deaths out of nearly 8,000 confirmed cases, after testing more than 222,000 people. In contrast, Italy has had 1,016 deaths and identified more than 15,000 cases after carrying out more than 73,000 tests on an unspecified number of people.

Epidemiologists say it is impossible to compare the numbers directly. But some say the dramatically different outcomes point to an important insight: aggressive and sustained testing is a powerful tool for fighting the virus.

Individualise ... or Collectivise?

According to Professor Stephen Reicher, University of St. Andrews:

"The way we deal with the coronavirus is bound up with the way we think about society and about the individual."

The commonsense assumption, which is reflected in the advice being handed out to the public, is that the way to change behaviour is to appeal to individual interests.

To make sure people take notice, personalise the message: ‘change your behaviour so that you will survive’.

Surely that makes sense? Well no. It is precisely the wrong thing to do. Here’s why.

At a practical level, those least at risk (young, fit, healthy) may well feel it isn’t worthwhile to make the necessary changes and so continue to act in ways that put the most vulnerable (old and infirm) at risk of infection.

How many people have you heard say:

"It will be just a cold ... so what ... I will get over it ..."

Additionally, at a moral level, we have the right to disregard dangers to ourselves and some even glory in being risk takers.

It might be foolish, but it isn’t disreputable to ignore safety advice.

On top of this, if we frame things individually – look after yourself! – we run into difficulties when it comes to getting people to behave in ways that are inconvenient to themselves but benefit others (self quarantining, for instance).

The same goes when it comes to distributing scarce resources (doctors time, medicines, hand gel etc.).

If we prioritise the individual then the strongest rather than the neediest will win out.

In both cases, the pursuit of self-interest is inefficient, it undermines the overall response to the crisis and many more will die.

Research on emergencies (Drury et al., 2019) shows that it is precisely when people stop thinking in terms of ‘I’ and start thinking in terms of ‘we’ – more technically, when they develop a sense of shared social identity – that they start to coordinate, support each-other and ensure that the neediest get the greatest help.

Sometimes this sense of shared identity emerges by the very fact of experiencing a common threat. But messaging also matters. When a threat is framed in group rather than individual terms, the public response is more robust and more effective (Carter et al., 2013).

So .. Let’s Look Again At The COVID-19 Response.

Instead of personalising the issue we need to collectivise it.

The key issue is not so much ‘will I survive’ as ‘how do we get through it’.

The emphasis must lie on how we can act to ensure that the most vulnerable amongst us are protected and losses to the community are minimised – after all, from a collective perspective, a loss to one is a loss to all.

If framed in this way, then it becomes important for everyone to wash their hands and cover their coughs because of the implications for others as well as for themselves.

Moreover, while we might have a right to take risks for ourselves, we have a moral obligation to avoid imposing risks on others (especially those who are vulnerable and connected to us – just think how your driving changes when you have children in the car).

Both of these considerations are powerful motivators of action (Reicher & Haslam, 2009). What is more, once certain actions become communal issues subject to collective norms, then violating them invokes collective pressure.

The best way to stop people going out when unwell or demanding resources they need less than others is not simply to change internal motivations but also to mobilise external disapproval.

The feverish person who goes to work, the fit young person demanding access to hospital emergency and admission services will be best dissuaded when the community comes together to make clear that these are not acceptable behaviours.

Once you collectivise the response to COVID-19, and once you create clear norms about maximising community well-being, then you become less reliant upon external forces such as the police to regulate behaviours – say around who is prioritised in getting medical help – with all the risk of clashes that entails.Instead, the community itself will constrain would-be deviants in their midst.

As always, the best regulation is collective self-regulation (Reicher et al., 2004).

The difficulty with this approach, of course, is that it is so much at odds with contemporary psychological commonsense, which insists that behaviour is governed by individual self interest.

It is also at odds with social changes which relentlessly undermine communities and collectivities, seek to transform social groups into individual consumers and view every relationship as a market based interpersonal exchange.

Perhaps COVID-19 Is A Powerful Wake-Up Call.

We have to change the way we frame the epidemic. We have to change we see the individual and society.We have to collectivise – or we die.

A modified article by Stephen Reicher, University of St. Andrews.

References

John Drury, University of SussexReferencesCarter, H., Drury, J., Rubin, G., Williams, R. and Amlôt, R. (2013), "The effect of communication during mass decontamination", Disaster Prevention and Management, Vol. 22 No. 2, pp. 132-147.

https://doi.org/10.1108/09653561311325280

Drury, J., Carter, H., Cocking, C., Ntontis, E., Tekin Guven, S., & Amlôt, R. (2019). Facilitating collective psychosocial resilience in the public in emergencies: Twelve recommendations based on the social identity approach. Frontiers in Public Health, 7 (141) doi: 10.3389/fpubh.2019.00141

Drury, J., & Alfadhli, K. (2019). Social identity, emergencies and disasters. In R. Williams, S. Bailey, B. Kamaldeep, S. A. Haslam, C. Haslam, V. Kemp, & D. Maughan (Eds). Social scaffolding: Applying the lessons of contemporary social science to health, public mental health and healthcare. London: Royal College of Psychiatrists.

Drury, J., Cocking, C., & Reicher, S. (2009). The nature of collective resilience: Survivor reactions to the 2005 London bombings. International Journal of Mass Emergencies and Disasters, 27(1), 66-95.

Drury, J., Cocking, C., & Reicher, S. (2009). Everyone for themselves? A comparative study of crowd solidarity among emergency survivors. British Journal of Social Psychology, 48(3), 487-506.

Reicher, S. D., & Haslam, S. A. (2009). Beyond help: a social psychology of social solidarity and social cohesion. In M. Snyder, & S. Sturmer (Eds.), The Psychology of Prosocical Behaviour Oxford: Wiley-Blackwell.

Reicher, S., Stott, C., Cronin, P. and Adang, O. (2004), "An integrated approach to crowd psychology and public order policing", Policing: An International Journal, Vol. 27 No. 4, pp. 558-572. https://doi.org/10.1108/13639510410566271

Stott, C., Adang, O., Livingstone, A., & Schreiber, M. (2008). Tackling football hooliganism: A quantitative study of public order, policing and crowd psychology. Psychology, Public Policy, and Law, 14(2), 115-141. doi:10.1037/a0013419

Vilas, X., & Sabucedo, J. M. (2012). Moral obligation: A forgotten dimension in the analysis of collective action. Revista de Psicología Social, 27(3), 369-375.

International Woman's Day - Reduce Bias in Workplace Leadership

Sat, 07 Mar 2020 21:27:14 GMT

International Women's Day marks a call to action for accelerating gender equality.

Professor Thomas Chamorro-Premuzic’s book, Why Do So Many Incompetent Men Become Leaders? is such a provocative title.

Deliberately so ... as it touches on ... an the obvious fact that:

"Since women make up around 50% of the adult population ... outnumber and outperform men at school and university, we might expect that at least equal representation of woman and men in leadership roles. And yet reality disagrees."

Australian Data on Female Representation in Leadership Roles

Most recent data in Australia confirms this observation:

The tally of female CEOs at S&P/ASX 200-listed companies was at 14 in 2017.
There were nearly 50,000 CEOs or MDs in the Australian data, most aged between the ages of 40 and 60, and only 19.3 per cent of these were female.
Based on 2016 data, the percentage of women on ASX 200 boards was 23.4 - while higher than the 10.70 per cent in 2010 ... no where near the 50% share of the adult working population.

Why Aren’t There More Women Leaders

Professor Chamorro-Premuzic suggests there are three main reasons, and the first is our inability to distinguish between confidence and competence . Across cultures and countries, we tend to assume that confident people have more potential for leadership, but in any area of talent, including leadership, there is very little overlap between confidence (how good people think they are at something) and competence (how good they actually are at something). Chart below outlines how woman rate themselves as less confident than men until their mid 40s.

The second reason is our love of charismatic individuals . We appear to want leaders who are charming and entertaining, but as most of us know, there is a big difference between an effective leader and being a stand-up comedian. In fact, the best leaders are humble rather than charismatic, to the point of being boring.

The third and final reason for the rise of incompetent men is our inability to resist the allure of narcissistic individuals — people with grandiose visions that tap into our own narcissism.

Since leadership is, at its core, a process of influence, those who form broader and richer relationships with others will undoubtedly be in a better position to influence.

Professor Chamorro-Premuzic argues that we should also promote people because of competence, humility and integrity. Incidentally, this would also lead to a higher proportion of female than male leaders — large-scale scientific studies show that women score higher than men on measures of competence, humility and integrity.

The Chart below details an analysis of 360 degree reviews of leaders show that women outscored men on a range of capabilities.

My Daughter's Leadership Experience At Wesley College

Last Friday morning I attended Wesley Junior College school assembly where my daughter is in Grade 4. This assembly was special occasion, as they were announcing leadership roles for Grade 4 students. It was a great event.

Ms Sabeena DeBono - head of Wesley Junior College - her team and the students had a great job ... but this leadership process started in the first week in this academic year ... laying the ground work ... educating the students about leadership!

All the Grade 4 students were given an leadership induction program where they discussed leadership ... what it meant to be a leader ... spoke to other leaders. All students nominated for particular leadership roles ... had interviews and were selected.

My daughter was selected as the Ambassador Leader for the Environment. But this process over the last few months had spurned her 'inner roar' - Wesley College mascot and emblem is a Lion - and demonstrated her initiative, connection to people, and being driven by humility and integrity.

She and two other girls spoke about establishing a 'mindfulness club' at lunchtime to help students relax and take time out. She also re-introduced with two other girls the 'friendship chair' initiative - a place in the schoolyard for students who don't have a friend during playtime to signal to others they haven't got anyone to play with.

It is interesting that these two prosocial initiatives were developed, planned and implemented by girls.

Want to Improve Leadership - Promote More Woman

Compelling evidence suggests that leadership is more likely to improve if we start drawing more heavily from the female talent pool, especially if we understand that the women most likely to drive positive change look quite different from the typical leaders we have today, irrespective of gender.

If we want to improve the quality of our leaders and help more women get to leadership positions, the last thing we should do is lower our standards when we select women.

This means we shouldn’t ask women to behave more like incompetent men. The Chart below shows that women take a long time to rate themselves as effective leaders compared to men.

I hope that programs like the one at Wesley Junior College can help and create the environment to educate and nurture a new class of leadership.

Ms DeBono Has The Final Say

On the day Ms De Bono asked all of the students to put their hands on their hearts and pledge to support the Grade 4 Leaders.

I think we can take the lead here and pledge to support our current and emerging woman leaders.

Toilet Paper Coronavirus Chaos: Blame Our Tricky Brains!

Wed, 04 Mar 2020 22:06:38 GMT

It turns out that the process of evolution has actually left our brains in a mess! Dr Paul Gilbert has referred this to us having a 'tricky brain.' What else can explain the toilet paper buying spree.

Evolution, or ‘survival of the fittest’, has ensured that we develop clever ways to survive so that we can pass life onto – and protect – the next generation.

But, evolution has left us with a flawed system: We are stuck with a brain that we did not design, which contributes to us reacting in ways we do not necessarily want. This can lead us to make situations worse for ourselves and others.

Our Tricky Brains

Our ‘tricky’ brains can produce dozens of unwanted thoughts and emotions – we can hold onto the pain or shame of the past, we can get triggered by unwanted anxieties about the future, and we can turn to attacking ourselves about present unwanted emotions with our ‘inner-critics’.

Although our brains have evolved to solve amazingly complex problems in the physical world, we cannot use the same problem-solving logic to permanently ‘solve’ the problem of unwanted emotions.

In other words, our evolution, ‘tricky brains’, and our common humanity (with all of its ups and downs) unites us all.

Toilet Paper Buying Spree

The phenomena we are experiencing at the moment of the' toilet paper coronavirus buying' reflects in a large part to the old brain and the new brain engaging in a loop - where our minds turn in on itself.

What do I mean by old and new brain? Our old brain consists of two parts:

we share the same reptilian brain that evolved over 200 million years ago - basic motives of survival seeking food, sexual opportunities and status, defensive mechanism such as fighting, flight, freeze.
we also share the mammalian brain (or limbic system) that evolved about 200 million years ago. Similar to reptiles, mammals also have an interest in feeding, fighting, fleeing and having sex. However, they also have an interest in ways of caring for their offspring, in bonding, playing and social communication. This part of the brain plays an important part in the functioning of basic emotions like anxiety, anger, sadness and joy, which helped animals evolve with their motives, and, ultimately survive and prosper.

Our 'new brain' evolved around two million years ago. This is located in the prefrontal cortex gave rise to wonderful new abilities such as:

our ability to imagine things
we can consider the future
we can think about our thinking
we can reflect on things in the past.

Old and new brain loops - a mind that can turn on itself

I know I am simplifying things here - and apologies to neuroscienists - but we know that our new competencies for thinking, imagining, ruminating, worrying and self-awareness can interact well with our old brain motives, emotions and behaviours, can can sit alongside each other in a coordinated and helpful way.

Most of the time!

However, at times these different new and old functions can get caught up in unhelpful 'loops.' Our mind can turn on itself in a way that can lead to 'glitches', which in turn can drive some (at times high) levels of distress and difficulties we experience in life.

What has this to do with buying toilet paper?

Here is how it plays out for John:

New Brain - I am worried about coronavirus. I listened to the news about people buying toilet paper
Old Brain - heart racing, tense muscles - anxiety
New Brain - The supermarket is going to run out.
Old Brain - Anxiety
New Brain - I am such a bad father. I have let down my kids ... I am lazy ... I need to go right now and buy some toilet paper.
Old Brain - Anxiety and anger.

John has engaged in both the threat system - protection and safety - and the drive system - wanting and needing.

Hmm - what do you think? Does this resonant with you?

Interested in your thoughts!

Psychological Safety in the Workplace Is Critical

Sun, 01 Mar 2020 06:36:13 GMT

How psychologically safe is your workplace? I suspect we don’t often have the answer to this question!

Culture is the single most important force leaders have to examine psychological safety. When you understand culture and how to work with it you can accelerate your psychological safety not just in the short term, but for the long term.

What is psychological safety?

The concept of psychological safety in the workplace was first identified by organisational behavioural scientist, Amy Edmondson in 1999 in her paper entitled: ‘Psychological safety and learning behavior in work teams’. Her research found that companies with a trusting workplace performed better.

Feeling safe, secure and being able to work without the fear of negative consequences, even when you make a mistake, relies on feeling psychologically safe. It means people are comfortable being themselves. In psychologically safe workplaces, diversity is respected and personal risk-taking is encouraged. Above all, team members respect each other and feel accepted. The feeling is like taking a leap and knowing you’ll be caught.

Why is it important?

Humiliation, blame, criticism and bullying create workplaces where employees are filled with fear. This kind of psychologically unsafe environment doesn’t get the best out of people. Workers are too busy watching their own backs and frightened of putting a foot wrong to make suggestions and help each other out. They dare not share ideas for fear of being shut down.

When we experience a lack of trust, respect or conflict we feel stressed. When we feel stressed our brain triggers hormones to support a fight-or-flight response. Continually being in that state is bad for our health. This state also has a negative impact on our ability to think strategically. It stifles creativity and teamwork, and that isn’t good for business.

A psychologically safe workplace is the opposite. In an environment where people are encouraged to understand each other’s points of view, understand each other’s strengths and weaknesses, support each other, and feel confident to make suggestions and offer ideas, teams flourish. Mistakes (essential for innovation) are made, chewed over and learned from.

The Australian Study

In 2019, icare and R U OK? launched a world-first study into psychological safety in the workplace, which showed that frontline lower income-earning staff feel less safe and permitted to take risks at work than higher income-earning employees.

The Australian Workplace Psychological Safety Survey canvassed 1,176 Australian employees and found that only 23 per cent of lower income-earning frontline employees felt their workplace was “psychologically safe” to take a risk, compared to 45 per cent of workers on significantly higher incomes.

A “psychologically safe” workplace is characterised by a climate of interpersonal trust and mutual respect in which people feel comfortable being themselves to make mistakes or take risks in their work.

So what kinds of workplaces in particular enable bullying and what kinds are effective at preventing it?

Dr Victor Sojo researches workplace abuse at the University of Melbourne. He was recently interview on Radio National.

He argues that from the research what we know is work environments are hyper-competitive, so where people have to compete all the time for very large rewards. H e argues that:

“So imagine a situation where we are talking about bonuses, and the difference between not getting a bonus or getting one is having the down payment for your house. If you are in a hyper-competitive environment and the rewards that you would get if you win are disproportionately larger relative to your performance or that of others, you will more likely engage in some form of unfair competition, and that could be in the form of either using other people as a way to get them out of your way."

Dr Soto also argues that:

“And we know power disparity could be a massive factor here. So in organisations where your supervisor has a lot of power disproportionate to yours, and by 'power' we mean not only access to resources but the capacity to make arbitrary decisions without having to explain themselves that could have a large impact on your career.

In those situations where there is a lot of power disparity, you will also find that bullying could flourish and be very difficult for people to call it out, to do anything about it.”

Conversely, in work environments that are on the opposite end where the organisational hierarchy is not that tall, where people are more flat and people are used to treating each other as equals, in those environments people probably are less concerned with their status and with competing for disproportionate rewards. This, bullying in a structural way, in terms of how things have been designed, is less likely to occur.

What are ways to improve psychological safety?

A focus on job clarity. When people aren't sure who is responsible for certain tasks, can also contribute to increased workplace bullying and lack of psychological safety.

Putting people in a situation where there will be a lot of friction between differing employees, or where people's resources to cope with difficult situations are being depleted.

Focus on culture. People who are put in very difficult situations do struggle to resist the urge to engage in negative behaviour. It's not that it's impossible, of course it's perfectly possible for people to do that, but in the right situation, even unwittingly people might engage in bullying behaviour and decrease psychological safety. A focus on setting the right culture, that is less passive aggressive and defensive and that rewards people having a go and aren’t punished for making mistakes.

Select the right people. Organisational factors are just one part of the equation; personality plays a role in whether a person is inclined to bully too.

People often talk about the psychopaths or the narcissists in organisations. However, their prevalence (1% of the population) wouldn't explain the rate of bullying that are observed in workplaces.

There are two other personality traits that we know are related to bullying. One of them is low conscientiousness, and high neuroticism.

Low conscientiousness has to do with people who are disorganised, who cannot plan properly, who struggle to set clear goals for themselves and other people and to follow rules. And people who are high neuroticism are those who are more likely to experience negative affect and negative emotions and also who are emotionally unstable, so they could have mood swings.

Dr Soto argues that:

"If you are a boss, and we know that bullying unfortunately, at least two-thirds of the bullying incidents are from a supervisor towards an employee, but if you're a boss who is disorganised, who struggles to set clear goals, who doesn't know how to explain to somebody else how to file a process, probably you would struggle also to delegate tasks to people.

And what's going to happen in that situation is that you are going to poorly structure a task that you are delegating. The employee might fail at the task because they didn't know what success looked like in that situation, and then you will have to find yourself in the situation of explaining to them what went wrong. But if you have struggled to articulate the task in the first place, you probably will also struggle to give them feedback.

And if on top of that you are prone to experiencing negative emotions, you could see how this would put you in an interpersonal situation where instead of giving proper feedback you will end up humiliating or being offensive to your employee.

References

Radio National - All in the Mind Program , Workplace bullies—and corporate psychopaths can be found at:

https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/allinthemind/workplace-bullies%E2%80%94and-corporate-psychopaths/11882820

Our Inner Critic Can Distort Our Perceptions of Ourselves.

Tue, 18 Feb 2020 08:12:27 GMT

Learn how to relate to uncomfortable thoughts and feelings with more compassion and acceptance

The Dove Experiment

Dove - the household name and manufacturer of beauty goods produced this fantastic video of a forensic police sketch artist who draws women, hidden from view, based on their description. Next, strangers who have briefly met these women describe them to the same artist.

The difference between the self-described sketches and those dictated by casual observers were startling.

The self-described portraits appeared caricature-like and featured sadder looking people with harsher features.

One participant said the portrait she helped create looked “closed off and fatter,” while the portrait that was created by the outside observer looked “more open, friendly and happy.

The Power of Core Negative Beliefs or Schemas

While a number of you have probably seen this video before. A number of you haven't. I am interested in your reaction.

I have shown this video to a number of people. The universal reaction - everyone were really emotionally impacted by it. Why?

It captures a common problem that I regularly see in my practice ... the way that our core negative beliefs or schemas radically distort our perceptions of ourselves.

How to Manage these Schemas?

While these thoughts may never completely disappear, they don't need to be so distressing and powerful.

By understanding these core negative beliefs or schemas , and learning how to relate to uncomfortable thoughts and feelings with more compassion and acceptance, you can learn to become your own best friend and ally.

Our schemas can often be wildly inaccurate, like fun-house mirrors. They’re frequently biased by perfectionism—holding ourselves to unreasonable standards—and incomplete comparisons—relating our self-worth to how we feel others are—resulting in harsh self-judgments that impact our health and happiness.

The solution to this self-shaming ? Self-compassion , distancing from harsh thoughts and defusing from them.

Click here to find out more about schemas and identify your own schemas.

At Your Psychologist , I offer individualised schema therapy and coaching that provides you with the tools you need to improve well-being and create the life you desire.

To learn more about how I can help click on my video to hear about my focus and the type of clients I see. You can click here to book an appointment online.

schemas, core negative beliefs, perfectionsim, unrelenting standards

Talking nicely to yourself - what can Billy Connolly teach us?

Wed, 12 Feb 2020 22:43:48 GMT

Part two of the self compassion series. Being self critical can be extremely unhelpful to your overall wellbeing

In my first post on the Self Compassion series (6 February 2020), I covered Dr Paul Gilbert's work on developing a compassionate self. One question that arises from the self compassion work is the idea that can " self-blaming and self-criticisms be helpful ... can these efforts enable oneself to improve and prevent mistakes and errors.

Dr Gilbert makes the distinction between "self-critical people, compared with those who self-reassure."

Billy Connolly on Self Criticism

In Dr Gilbert's article, Criticizing and reassuring oneself: An exploration of forms, styles and reasons in female students (2004) he talks about Bi lly Connolly, the famous Glaswegian comedian, who suffered various forms of early abuse and struggled with depression and an alcohol problem.

He recounts an interview Billy Connolly had when he recalled an important insight he had whilst trying to relax in a flotation tank.

"I became aware of a kind of voice when I make plans to do things. The inner voice says: ‘No, you’ll never do that. No, you’re not good enough, not clever enough, you’ll never go there...’

Connolly relates ‘this voice’ to the many who have beat and shamed him.

While Connolly jokes about it now .. he believes, too, that the voice will never really leave him; he sees his life as a series of different

strategies for learning to live with it. Not least of these was the tried-and-tested one he employed in the tank itself:

‘‘Away with you!’’ he yelled, ‘‘F . . . off. ’’

Dr Gilbert argues that "as a result of early experiences,

people can internalize an ability to be self-reassuring and soothing in times of personal failure, or to act out their frustration with narcissistic rage at the self."

Self-criticizing vs. self-reassuring separated into two components

Forms of self-criticizing separated into two components related to: being self-critical , dwelling on mistakes and sense of inadequacy; and a second component of wanting to hurt the self and feeling self-disgust and self-hate.

The reasons and functions for self-criticism separated into two components.

One was related to desires to try to self-improve (called self-improving/ correction), and the other to take revenge on, harm or hurt the self for failures (called self-harming/persecuting).

What is helpful?

Teaching people skills to re-evaluate their self-criticisms and self- attacks often involves a form of self-reassuring such as focusing on one’s positives and reducing black and white thinking. This might work well for those with self improving or self-correcting types of self-criticism, especially if they basically like

themselves.

It is unclear if they will work as well for self-persecutors and self-haters.

Dr Gilbert suggest value in helping people develop inner warmth and compassion for the self as a counter affective response to self-disgust and hatred.

Case study - Clare

Dr Gilbert writes about a client he worked with named Clare.

Clare had not internalized an ability to be emphatic to her distress or reassure herself when feeling low or failing at things. She ‘hated’ feeling weak, depressed, and vulnerable.

Developing abilities for compassionate and warm re-evaluations of the self and tolerating negative feelings with emphatic support had a major impact on her recovery.

At the end of therapy, she reflected that trying to focus on her positives (as she had in the early days of our work together) had felt like self-criticism as if she was telling herself ‘You must learn to focus on your positives and not think in black and white!’

She noted that compassionate re-evaluation felt very different and was much harder for her.

In summary

Understanding your origins, styles, and functions of your self-criticism may be important in helping you change them. Self-criticism is a complex multifaceted experience that we have yet to fully understand—if it is far more than just negative self-evaluation, and just focusing on cognitive behavioural interventions. I focus on cultivating self compassion approaches is most critical. I will delve more deeply into these in the next post.

References

Gilbert, P., Clarke, M., Hempel, S., Miles, J. N., & Irons, C. (2004). Criticizing and reassuring oneself: An exploration of forms, styles and reasons in female students. British Journal of Clinical Psychology, 43(1), 31-50.

anger, self critical, self compassion, paul gilbert, self loathing

Talking Nicely To Yourself - It Is So Important To Your Health

Wed, 05 Feb 2020 21:31:19 GMT

Cultivating a compassionate mind is more important than ever as we increasing live in a relentless achievement driven world.

Last week I attended a Compassion Focussed Therapy (CFT) Workshop facilitated by Dr Paul Gilbert . In the world of psychology, Dr Gilbert is like the what the Rolling Stones are to Pop Music!

Dr Gilbert’s influence on practitioners (e.g. psychologists and coaches) and the general public can’t be overstated through the development of the CFT approach and author of The Compassionate Mind ) and countless research articles.

His work (and the workshop) so inspired me that I will be devoting next three posts on how to cultivate a more compassionate mind .

This article will focus on why we engage in self-criticism and how to focus and manage the inner critic .

Why is it Important to Focus on Self Criticism?

It is a very good question and one that Dr Gilbert has spent 40 odd years investigating and developing (and using) a therapeutic approach to addressing.

Dr Gilbert says that:

“Many people have problems with self-criticism . While there is nothing intrinsically wrong with self-criticism … the key issue is the emotion that goes with it.”

Dr Gilbert gave a great example at the workshop illustrating what goes through the mind when you are self-critical and the power it has on your emotions and body.

“Lets say you are hungry and you see a meal. This will get your saliva and stomach acids going. Equally, if you just fantasized about food it will have the same effect. The image and the real thing will impact and drive the same brain and body systems.”

This is important! Why? It is important to recognise that the real thing and just thinking … fantasizing or imaging it will have the same impact on how your brain and body works.

“By analogy, if you focus on yourself as being no good …. or inadequate … and generating a lot of anger and disappointment towards yourself … that is going to be stimulating your threat system. The problem with people who are self-critical day in day out they are stimulating their ‘threat system.’

Why is Activating your Threat System a Problem?

If this becomes chronic and an enduring pattern, you will be feeling beaten down, harassed and worn down with thoughts of being useless, inadequate and worthless.

Another impact is the increase your cortisol levels which can lead to if prolonged to weight gain … high blood pressure, disrupted sleep … negatively impacted mood … reduced energy levels.

Dr Gilbert makes a distinction between two types of self-criticisms.

One that is based upon frustration and anger towards oneself.

“Another type is compassion self-correction , where we embrace our mistakes as best we are able to … we try to get over the frustration about making the mistake or getting something wrong quickly and focus on what we can learn.”

The opportunity at every moment is to focus on being the best we can as opposed to punishing ourselves and beating ourselves up when things go wrong.

The Key Issue about Compassion Self Correction

How do you treat yourself is a key mindful process.

If you are beating on yourself about an error or mistake you are left with two problems.

One, the issue of the error or mistake.

Two, you are now pushing your threat system into over-drive with all this attacking going on … being frustrated and angry with yourself and stimulating like your fantasies discussed earlier impacting on your brain and bodily systems. This increases your cortisol levels and you can potentially get into a loop of self loathing and being stuck in the world of the inner critic

Key Take Outs

What is the emotion that goes with it with the self-criticism?
if you focus on yourself as being no good …. or inadequate … and generating a lot of anger and disappointment towards yourself … that is going to be stimulating your threat system.
When things go wrong … how you treat yourself is a key sign to the power of your self-critic. Noticing how persistent it is … and the emotion you attach to the self criticism.

My next post will focus on building the more compassionate self

#selfcompassion #innercritic #mentalwellbeing #depression #anxiety #angry #frustration #compassionfocusedtherapy #therapy

What is the “Big Five” and How Can It Help You?

Wed, 29 Jan 2020 05:01:57 GMT

Our personality plays a huge role in our lives. It shapes how we view the world and frame events.

As a psychologist I have always been fascinated by personality. That is why personality assessment is a key component of my therapy and coaching practice.

I explore with clients:

Why is it useful to know about personality traits.
How can it improve their life.
How does personality fit into personal development.

Our personality plays a huge role in our lives.

It shapes how we view the world and frame events. Certain traits are predictive of how happy we say we are, how we vote, and how successful we are in our chosen careers.

Understanding personality has helped my clients see their own strengths and weaknesses more clearly. They have been able to use this information to develop a more customized approach to their personal development.

Building better relationships

Learning about personality can increase one's appreciation for the psychological diversity in the world. Knowing about the different traits can help you better relate to those who think or behave in ways that are completely different from you. You begin to notice that whenever you have encountered something you consider strange, off putting, or hard to deal with, it’s often because you don’t know enough about it.

Personality frameworks - such as the Big Five outlined below - offer many new reference points for understanding other's behavior, attitudes, and ways of thinking. I have found personally and for my clients that this understanding drives the capacity to create better relationships, build confidence and set more targeted goals.

The Big Five Personality model

The Big Five Personality model is a framework used to describe and classify personality traits. It uses five primary traits, or dimensions, across which people vary.

It is the most well-researched personality framework and the most widely accepted among psychologists. That’s not to say there isn’t value in other frameworks, such as the Myers-Briggs, just that the Big Five has the most hard data behind it.

What’s unique about the Big Five is the level of nuance it is able to capture. It doesn’t set out to put you into a box. It measures each trait on a spectrum rather than a dichotomy. In other words, they are less like personality “types” and more like personality tendencies.

Because of this feature, there are no catchy names, numbers, or acronyms to describe your individual personality. Instead, you find out where you fall on the spectrum of each trait, as compared to other people. This unique mixture of traits describes your basic personality structure. Adding to this nuance is the fact that a given trait manifests differently depending on how you score on other traits.

The Five Dimensions of Personality (OCEAN)

The five different dimensions that make up personality, according to the Big Five model are detailed below:

1) Openness to Experience:

Key traits :

This dimension measures traits such as creativity, intellectual curiosity, imagination, adventurousness, appreciation of the arts, abstract thinking, variety of experience, and sensitivity to emotions and beauty. The two primary aspects of this dimension are Intellect (interest in ideas) and Openness (creativity).

How it looks:

People high in this trait are more likely to go to museums, engage in philosophical discussions, create art, and explore new ideas than those who are lower in this trait. They enjoy reading, solving complex problems and creating new things.

Career choice:

People high in this trait tend to choose careers as entrepreneurs, artists, actors, writers, and musicians.

The extremes:

People very high in Openness to Experience can be perceived as flighty or eccentric, whereas people very low in Openness to Experience can be perceived as closed-minded or dogmatic.

2) Conscientiousness:

Key traits:

This dimension measures traits such as dutifulness, attention to detail, discipline, consistency, cleanliness, efficiency, and adherence to rules. The two primary aspects of this dimension are: Orderliness and Industriousness.

How it looks:

People who are high in Conscientiousness are generally efficient, hard workers. They are better at following rules, sticking to schedules and resisting temptation than those who are lower in this trait. They often prefer order and like to keep things clean and organized. They are achievement oriented and tend to be more cautious than others.

Career choice:

Those high in Conscientiousness tend to choose more demanding careers such as lawyers, doctors, scientists, engineers, and CEOs. Those moderately high in Conscientiousness tend to be good managers.

The extremes:

People very high in Conscientiousness can be perceived as obsessive or stubborn, whereas people very low in Conscientiousness can be perceived as unreliable, lazy, or inconsistent.

3) Extraversion:

Key traits:

This dimension measures traits such as enthusiasm, gregariousness, talkativeness, assertiveness, warmth, sociability, and level of activity. The two primary aspects of this dimension are: Enthusiasm and Assertiveness.

How it looks:

People high in Extraversion like to be around others. They enjoy external stimulation and are more likely to seek out social gatherings and events than those who are lower in Extraversion. They are also more likely to speak up and experience positive emotions than others.

Career choice:

People high in Extraversion tend to choose careers where they get to interact with people, such as sales, TV and radio, public speaking, and entertainment.

The extremes:

People very high in Extraversion can be perceived as attention-seeking or domineering, whereas people very low in Extraversion can be perceived self-absorbed or aloof.

4) Agreeableness:

Key traits:

This dimension measures traits such as kindness, cooperation, sympathy, politeness, trust, and compliance. The two primary aspects of this dimension are: Compassion and Politeness.

How it looks:

People high in agreeableness are easy to get along with, respectful, and pleasant to be around. They do not like confrontation and do their best not to offend others. They are more likely to give to charity and help those in need than people low in Agreeableness .

Career choice:

People high in Agreeableness tend to choose careers where they help others, such as nursing, hospice care, social work, and counseling. However, people low in agreeableness tend to be better negotiators and thrive in careers like law or politics.

The extremes:

People very high in Agreeableness can be perceived as naive, submissive, or ingratiating, whereas those very low in Agreeableness can be perceived as combative, argumentative, or rude.

5) Neuroticism:

Key traits:

This dimension measures tendency toward negative emotion, including traits such as anger, depression, fear, worry, anxiety, suspicion, and self-consciousness. Conversely, lower scores on this dimension indicate higher levels of emotional stability. The two primary aspects of Neuroticism are: Withdrawal and Volatility.

How it looks:

People high in Neuroticism are easily irritated and tend to lash out at others. They can experience long periods of feeling isolated and unsettled. They are more likely to overthink and question their success as compared with those lower in Neuroticism . They also report lower levels of happiness and psychological well-being.

Career choice:

Being high in Neuroticism is not necessarily all bad, particular when balanced with certain other traits. For example, when paired with Conscientiousness, it can drive people who are bothered or angry at something to change it. An example of someone like this might be Steve Jobs, a short-tempered man who leveraged his critical eye to design products he (and many others) considered superior to the competition.

When paired with high Openness to Experience, it is a recipe for wild creativity. This is the archetype of the tortured artist.

The extremes:

People very high in Neuroticism can be perceived as unstable, insecure, or depressed. People very low in Neuroticism can be perceived as unconcerned, oblivious, or uninspiring.

Applying it to your life

Extremes in any trait can be problematic. It’s useful to notice where you tend to get out of balance and take measures to counteract any traits that negatively affect you or others.

For example, being too high in Openness to Experience can paralyze you, particularly when paired with high Neuroticism and low Conscientiousness. When you can be or do anything and everything is a construct but you also hate structure and feel anxious all the time, life is hard. To balance excessive Openness , you need structure. Plan your days ahead of time, prepare your meals in advance, and try extra hard to see the value in certain traditions and constructs.

Or, if you’r higher than average in Neuroticism , you might consider doing some self-work to temper your anxiety, anger, or depressive nature. This might involve seeing a therapist or practicing meditation.

If you are interested in the Big Five Personality Model and would like to undertake an assessment you can Book a free consultation below:

https://www.yourpsychologist.net.au/contact

Can therapy change your personality? The answer might surprise you!

Tue, 28 Jan 2020 10:17:27 GMT

Research has shown that just a few weeks of therapy is associated with significant and long-lasting changes in clients’ personalities.

A meta-analysis under by Professor Roberts and his team from University of Illinois (reference below) looked at over 200 psychotherapy and related studies published between 1959 and 2013, involving over 20,000 participants, with measures of personality taken repeatedly over time.

The analysis found that just a few weeks of therapy is associated with significant and long-lasting changes in clients’ personalities, especially reductions in the trait of Neuroticism - emotional instability is an especially important risk factor for future poor mental and physical health.

The research also found that personality change appeared to occur remarkably quickly. Roughly four or more weeks of therapy was enough to induce meaningful change. In fact, beyond eight weeks, more therapy was not associated with greater personality change.

Why this is Important?

Undertaking effective therapy can drive changes in your personality traits. In particular, and probably most appropriately, seeing a therapist was found to change Neuroticism for the better. The remaining Big Five with the exception of openness, showed small, if statistically significant changes.

For more detail on the Big Five refer to my post on What is the Big Five and How Can It Help You? which can be found at https://www.yourpsychologist.net.au/what-is-the-big-five-and-how-can-it-help-you

Therapy-related changes to trait Neuroticism were especially significant as a few weeks of therapy led to about half the amount of increase in emotional stability that you would typically expect to see someone exhibit over an entire lifetime. Generally most of us become (albeit slowly) more emotionally stable as we get older.

What Therapy is Most Effective?

The research do not support arguments for the superiority of CBT, psychodynamic , or interpersonal approaches. Of course, it may be the case that all of these approaches work well enough that they should all be deemed viable ways of changing personality traits.

Who Experienced the Greatest Change?

Clients diagnosed with anxiety disorder, depression or personality disorders exhibited the greatest personality change compared with other conditions; and the size of the effects were the same across gender and age.

This last finding concerning age is especially intriguing. As the researchers said, it appears to support “the plasticity principle that personality is an open system and amenable to change” through the lifespan.

Some limitations

The studies under review almost entirely relied on clients’ ratings of their own personalities. However, not all traits changed positively in response to therapy which argues against a general effect on self-presentation or personality-related self-esteem).

The research also leaves unanswered a big question for the future: just how is psychotherapy enacting these personality trait changes?

In Summary

This research points to: 1) the significant benefits of psychotherapy on personality change, and 2) the important role of personality in mental health. This later point is important as personality is inaccurately perceived as static and at times not considered relevant to behaviour change models.

Personality research is one of the most rigorous areas of psychological research and not mired by the replication crisis found in other areas of psychology.

The research also speaks to an ongoing debate in personality science about just how much personality changes, with the new findings arguing against the idea that change can only ever occur slowly.

In conclusion, the researchers argue that:

“Personality traits are not only robust predictors of important life outcomes, but also appear amenable to intervention. This fact opens the door to a new era of research that more strongly links personality and clinical psychology ... and other groups, such as educational psychologists and economists, who are interested in changing people and their behaviours in order to help them with their lives.”

References

This article draws on the initial article written by Christian Jarrett - at the Editor of BPS Research Digest. His article can be located at https://digest.bps.org.uk/2017/01/19/a-little-discussed-effect-of-therapy-it-changes-your-personality/

Roberts, B. W., Luo, J., Briley, D. A., Chow, P. I., Su, R., & Hill, P. L. (2017). A systematic review of personality trait change through intervention. Psychological Bulletin, 143(2) , 117-141.

Parenting styles have a profound influence on children.

Sun, 19 Jan 2020 23:51:02 GMT

Parental love impacts your flourishing later in life

Over the past several years, the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University, led by has pursued research on parenting practices and how these practices affect the flourishing of children as they grow and develop into adulthood.

Types Parenting Styles

Professor Tyler J. VanderWeele - Director of the Human Flourishing Program at Harvard University - outlines that a common division of parental styles classifies them along two axes: parental warmth, on the one hand, and parental discipline, on the other.

Based on whether the parenting approach is high or low on each of these two dimensions, parenting styles are then divided into four types.

The parenting approach with high warmth and high discipline is sometimes called the authoritative style .

In contrast, the approach with low warmth and high discipline is referred to as the authoritarian style .

The approach with high warmth but low discipline is referred to as the permissive style .

And, finally, the approach with low warmth and low discipline is referred to as the neglectful style .

Impact of Parenting Styles

Research has fairly consistently shown that the approach of high warmth and high discipline (the authoritative style) tends to be associated with the best childhood outcomes.

VanderWeele and his team published two empirical studies that looked at the effects of different parenting styles on numerous health and well-being outcomes, and the results, using more rigorous methodology, were largely consistent with previous findings.

"Children who had parents with the authoritative approach to parenting (high warmth, high discipline) fared best later in life."

"One of the interesting results of our two studies was that parental warmth, or love, seemed to be the dominant factor."

While those who had high warmth and high discipline ( authoritative style ) did the best.

The next best category was high warmth, low discipline (the permissive style ) and they did considerably better than the group that, in contrast, had low warmth and high discipline ( authoritarian style ). Not surprisingly, the group that had low warmth, low discipline ( neglectful style ) fared poorest.

Parental Warmth is Most Important

However, overall, parental warmth or love seemed the most important. When parental warmth was considered on its own, it was the most important aspect of parenting we were able to identify.

Parental warmth in childhood (measured by satisfaction with the parent-child relationship, generally concerning love and attachment) was associated, several years later with a:

46 percent reduction in depression
39 percent reduction in anxiety
68 percent reduction in eating disorders, as well as higher levels of emotional processing and expression, and lower levels of cigarette and marijuana smoking

In Summary

Parental warmth was associated with a wide range of positive flourishing outcomes later in life. The links to some of these (such as happiness or emotional well-being, positive relations later in life, and self-acceptance) were larger than the associations with others (such as social coherence), but they were positive for almost all outcomes.

References

This article draws from the Psychology Today article by How Parental Love Impacts Flourishing Later in Life by Professor Tyler J. VanderWeele. The link to the article is below: https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/human-flourishing/201906/how-parental-love-impacts-flourishing-later-in-life

The studies referenced in the article are listed below:

Chen, Y. Kubzansky, L., and VanderWeele, T.J. (2019). Parental warmth and flourishing in mid-life. Social Science and Medicine, 220:65-72.

Chen, Y., Haines, J. Charlton, B., and VanderWeele, T.J. (2019). Positive parenting improves multiple aspects of health and well-being in young adulthood. Nature Human Behavior, in press: https://doi.org/10.1038/s41562-019-0602-x.

Are leaders who change their moral stance perceived as brave or hypocritical?

Sun, 12 Jan 2020 20:50:08 GMT

Research suggest that leaders who change their position on moral issues are not often perceived favourably by the public.

The Australian bushfires has raised anger and frustration towards political leaders. Whether the efforts by federal and state governments are timely and adequate in measure isn't the issue covered by this article.

This article seeks to report research on how public perceive political leaders who change their moral stance on issues.

Research on Leaders Shifting Moral Stance

A team led by Tamar Kreps at the University of Utah suggests that leaders who shift from a moral stance don’t appear brave – they just look like hypocrites.

The researchers conducted 15 studies. For example, one study, recruited 800 participants from Amazon Mechanical Turk and read scenarios where a member of the US Congress took a stance on either the death penalty or same-sex marriage. In some cases, their stance was pragmatic, indicated in their statement through phrases like “it’s a matter of not having to invest in the cost of changing government systems”. In other cases the justification for the stance was moral – “it’s a matter of justice.”

When the political leaders' initial stance was moral rather than pragmatic, the political leaders suffered costs and gained no benefits after changing their moral mind. Participants rated them as less effective, less worthy of support and more hypocritical, with the intensity of hypocrisy driving the other two negative judgments.

Even those participants who agreed with moral mind-changers’ new position saw them as hypocritical, although slightly less so than other participants.

At the same time, moral mind changers were seen as no more courageous, effective, or worthy of support, compared to leaders who changed their initial pragmatically grounded position.

Kreps’s team found this same effect in various scenarios, including a manager deciding whether to take on an environmentally friendly supply system and politicians considering immigration reform.

Implications of the Research

The results suggest that leaders abandoning a moral position will almost certainly cost them.

Changing a key belief may put you at odds with friends and family and be seized on by your competitors, casting you as a commitment-breaker – as dishonest or inauthentic.

Can Leaders Evolve?

However, the research cited one study that provided a “glimmer of hope” for evolving moral leaders. When participants heard that the leader’s moral shift was triggered by a transformative event (e.g. a disaster), they remained critical in terms of hypocrisy, but simultaneously rated them as more courageous.

Advice to Leaders

Much of the leadership literature to date has suggested there are only benefits to expressing moral positions, making this one of the first studies to show a potential downside, and – if leaders have an instinct for the effects shown here – it could explain why they are often keen to hold back from taking moral positions.

Kreps and her colleagues conclude that “moral talk is not cheap – those who deviate from their initial moral views pay a price…and leaders may do well to avoid it in the absence of true, enduring conviction.”

References

This material from this article draws significantly from Alex Fradera's article which can be found at:

https://digest.bps.org.uk/2018/07/31/political-and-business-leaders-who-change-their-moral-stance-are-perceived-not-as-brave-but-hypocritical-and-ineffective/

The research study and link is detailed below:

Kreps, T. A., Laurin, K., & Merritt, A. C. (2017). Hypocritical flip-flop, or courageous evolution? When leaders change their moral minds. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 113(5), 730–752. https://doi.org/10.1037/pspi0000103

Australian bushfires - resources, education and support

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Tue, 07 Jan 2020 05:59:23 GMT

Australian bushfires 2020: Psychological preparation and recovery

The current impact of bushfires on Australian communities is devastating.

The Australian Psychological Society has compiled a range of resources to help Australians to prepare and recover from the threat of bushfire.

Preparing for bushfires and disasters bushfires

Preparing for bushfires

Research shows that you are more likely to stick with a household plan if you have also prepared psychologically for a bushfire. Being able to manage your emotions in an emergency (that is, being psychologically prepared), can save your life and potentially the lives of others.

This information sheet outlines the steps to become psychologically prepared.

Preparing children for the threat of bushfires

Hot days and the potential risk of more bushfires can lead to increased anxiety for many people. Children are also vulnerable, and the increased media coverage and discussion in the community, schools and at home about fires can raise their alarm. Parents and carers can help children to be aware of the threats, but also reassure them that they are safe and secure.

This information sheet can help parents and carers to look after children who are anxious about the threat of bushfires.

Recovering from bushfires and disasters

Looking after children who have been affected by bushfires

This information sheet will help parents and carers who are looking after children who have been affected by bushfires.

Useful skills for disaster recovery

This series of information sheets provides general psychological strategies to help people to cope and recover after bushfires.

Helpful thinking

Following bushfires, many people’s way of thinking about the world and themselves may have shifted to have a very negative focus.

This information sheet provides guidance about how to notice unhelpful thoughts and how to focus on helpful alternatives.

The importance of social connections

One of the best things we can do for ourselves following a traumatic experience is to spend time with people who care about us, and to feel the social support of friends, family and the community. This information sheet provides some useful strategies for how to make connections with others.

Taking time for pleasurable activities

Doing activities that are enjoyable is very important as a way of gaining a sense of control and purpose in life, and for giving pleasure.

This information sheet provides guidance about the importance of giving yourself permission to do some of the things you have enjoyed in the past, persevering, and planning ahead so as to have things to look forward to.

Managing emotional distress

Even after the danger of the bushfires has long passed, people can experience upsetting reactions, and these can go on for weeks, months or years.

This information sheet outlines four steps to managing emotional distress.

Problem solving

Following bushfires, people can struggle with a variety of problems, from how to clean up their house block to worrying about arguments with their partner, or struggling to supervise children adequately in a new or altered environment.

This information sheet outlines four steps to solving problems.

If your GP prescribed spending time outdoors are you more likely to do that? You should ... nature is the perfect multivitamin

Tue, 17 Dec 2019 10:48:37 GMT

We know that being in the great outdoors feels good, but there is growing evidence that it may also make you healthier.

The "3 Day Effect" was a term coined by Utah bookseller/river runner Ken Sanders, who noticed a significant shift in group members on a three day rafting trip.

David Strayer, a cognitive psychologist at the University of Utah has had similar experiences:

"When we slow down, stop the busy work, and take in beautiful natural surroundings, not only do we feel restored but our mental performance improves too."

Strayer illustrated his point with a group of participants who did 50 per cent better on problem solving tasks and word games after three days on a backpacking trip.

"On the third day my senses recalibrate - I smell things and hear things I didn't before."

Strayer goes on, "If you can have the experience of being in the moment for two or three days, it seems to produce a difference in qualitive thinking."

It's believed that being in nature allows the prefrontal cortex (the brain's command center) to rest like an overused muscle.

Countless research studies around the world found that immersion in natural surroundings decreased anxiety as well as an improvement in mood, attention, memory, and creativity.

The Radio National Life Matters Program recently interviewed (link below):

Zoe Myers, Lecturer at the Australian Urban Design Research Centre at the University of Western Australia; and
Dr Ming Kuo, Psychologist, Associate Professor at the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Sciences, University of Illinois. Listen to her Ted Talk (link below).

The interview covered the far reaching effects of being outdoors and the growing evidence that it makes us healthier.

Since the mid 2000s, Parks Victoria has investigated the health benefits of spending time in nature as part of its Healthy Parks, Healthy People program.

Its latest commissioned literature review of the health benefits of parks and natural spaces by Deakin University found access and proximity to safe, high-quality parks improved mental health.

A survey by Parks Victoria found that 64 per cent of people said they did most of their exercise indoors — despite almost 80 per cent of people reporting that being in nature improved their mental health.

While weather, safety concerns and access to green spaces could be barriers, moving your daily exercise outside could make a difference.

Research shows spending about 15 to 20 minutes in green space or a park can actually significantly lower stress hormones.

Studies also show that just watching nature videos can increase positive emotions. Spending time in marine environments can also help reduce stress.

So ... over the festive and holiday period ... can you find three days? You will be benefit greatly from it. Ask your GP to prescribe it!

References

Radio National , Life Matters Program

https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/lifematters/your-brain-on-nature/11780426

Dr Ming Kuo's Tedx talk on the psychological, physical, and social benefits of nature

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JGh8CqS4HLk

Writing your story can be transformative and healing

Sun, 15 Dec 2019 01:55:13 GMT

In my therapy and coaching practice, I often ask my clients to write their own stories. It can be a transformative and healing process.

When I was completing my fourth year in Psychology I undertook a study that examined how a person's life story influences their leadership style. I surveyed over 120 leaders in the private and public sectors about their leadership style and asked them to write a short narrative that covered high points, low points and turning points in their life. The story could of covered themes of redemption, generativity (giving back or leaving a legacy), barriers, their learning, their level of agency and how it impacted on them as leaders.

A key finding of the study was, whilst leadership emerges from one's life story, the interpretation that people make and the meanings they ascribe to their experiences is just as critical as the event itself. A particular finding has stayed with me and has greatly influenced by therapeutic and coaching approach.

The importance of focusing on how people derive meaning from negative events .

The study identified significant differences between leaders in terms of their leadership style and their autobiographical reasoning and meaning making associated with negative events.

Leaders who had more redemptive sequences (i.e. a bad event happened and they grew and learnt from it) had more transformative leadership styles and higher generativity.

Less effective leaders were less likely to be open to experience and grew less from the negative event. They did not have redemptive sequences and where stuck in the story. They also had lower levels of generativity.

Implication for my practice

Drawing on this study, I have modified the approach regularly in my practice, ask my clients to write their autobiographical story. I also survey them for their personality type (utilising the HEXACO six factor personality approach) and schemas (formative core negative beliefs that influence the way one sees themselves as a person).

There are a range of observations I have drawn from practice. In today's post, I would like to focus on the transformative and healing outcomes drawn from client's writing their own story.

A client's experience

I remember a client who completed their story. They talked about a how a tragedy that happened in their life as a child. By writing the story they were able to access the story in a way that they hadn’t completely understood previously. They were able to re-script it and relieve the weight of guilt that had been there since childhood.

Writing can heal

Writing your story, can bring comfort ... without diminishing painful events.

Writing can reframe the story ... it can put things in their place ... it can create a container with which you can carry almost anything that you need to carry, no matter how heavy or painful.

Researchers, have shown that writing for as little as 15 minutes per day can bring about improvements in mental and physical health. Writing about yourself and your experiences can improve mood disorders.

Behind this research is the idea that telling one’s story in written form provides the writer with the opportunity to alter his or her narrative and in the process alter themselves.

Writing and telling your story is behaviour activation

The act of writing has a way of reinforcing a sense of agency ... as you see yourself as the main character. The telling of the written story in therapy and coaching is also reinforcing.

In summary, the act of writing and telling is movement; it is change; it is renewal and redefinition; it is healing.

If you feel stuck in your story and want some guidance on how to get started you can contact me on link below:

https://www.yourpsychologist.net.au/contact

Coaching is not about rescuing people. How to tame the advice monster

Tue, 10 Dec 2019 01:55:02 GMT

Coaching isn't about rescuing or fixing the other person ... its about helping them help themselves.

I recently listened to Michael Bungay Stanier on the Radio National Program, The Working Life. It reminded me of the key aspects of coaching that we often forget about. That coaching isn't just for leaders ... we all should become 'coach like.' To be 'coach like; requires us to: 1) understand the context of the coaching; 2) don't fall into advice giving; and 3) asking great questions creates learning moments.

Michael knows what it takes to be a great coach, he was recently named world's number one thought leader in coaching and his book The Coaching Habit has sold more than 700,000 copies.

In his book, Michael distinguishes between coaching for performance and coaching for development:

“Coaching for performance is about addressing and fixing a specific problem or challenge. It’s putting out the fire or building up the fire or banking the fire. It’s everyday stuff, and it’s important and necessary. Coaching for development is about turning the focus from the issue to the person dealing with the issue, the person who’s managing the fire. This conversation is more rare and significantly more powerful.”

He also leverages off Carl Rogers, the famous psychologist who pioneered person centred therapy, when he questions our ability to listen and our propensity to give advice. He argues we should resist this. Instead listening in and asking questions will generate more capacity for to learn and change for the other person:

“This is why, in a nutshell, advice is overrated. I can tell you something, and it’s got a limited chance of making its way into your brain’s hippocampus, the region that encodes memory. If I can ask you a question and you generate the answer yourself, the odds increase substantially.”

It is what Michael calls:

“helping to create the space for people to have those learning moments.”

Michael in his book unpacks his seven essential coaching questions that people can use today with their staff, their partners and their children. Coaching is about asking the right question. Without a good question, a good answer has no place to go.

1. What's on your mind?

2. And what else?

3. What's really the challenge here for you?

4. What do you want?

5. How can I help/so what do you want from me?

6. If you're saying yes to this, what are you saying no to?

7. What was most useful/valuable here for you?

You can find the link to the Radio National, The Working Life program below:

https://www.abc.net.au/radionational/programs/this-working-life/quality-coaching/11750592

Being able to differentiate between negative emotions reduces risk of depression

Sun, 08 Dec 2019 05:55:59 GMT

Recent study indicates that teenagers who struggle to differentiate between negative emotions are more likely to experience depression

My recent post (refer to 21 November 2019) discussed 'labelling our emotions' as an important first step in dealing with them.

An article by Emma Young (a staff writer at BPS Research Digest, link to article refer references), provides further support to this issue. She argues that:

"The first step to dealing with a negative emotion is to identify it. If you’re feeling irritated, restless or guilty, the most effective way to start feeling better will be different in each case.

The trouble is, if your sense of your own emotions is not that fine-grained – if you feel just “bad” or “upset” – you may struggle to identify the cause of your distress, making it tricky to self-regulate your emotions."

Recent Study on Teenagers

The article reports on a recent study by Lisa Starr at the University of Rochester and her colleagues that conducted a longitudinal study on adolescents, (refer to references for the link).

They looked not only at teenagers’ Negative Emotional Differentiation (NED) and depressive symptoms over time, but also their experience of minor daily hassles and more serious stressful life events.

The researchers found that the teenagers who during the week-long survey period were relatively poor at differentiating between negative emotions were also more likely to suffer a transiently depressed mood after a minor hassle.

Eighteen months on, they also had higher levels of depressive symptoms – but only if their exposure to stressful life events during that period had been high.

Why is the inability to distinguish between negative emotions a risk factor for depression?

People with difficulties discriminating between and labelling [negative emotions] may fail to orient to the causes and consequences of their emotional responses to stressors, leaving them less prepared to effectively down-regulate [negative emotions].

Such deficits in emotion regulation may in turn make the emotional aftermath of stressors more difficult to manage and lead to the development of depressive symptoms.

What are the key opportunities from this study?

While this study focused on teenagers, there is a broader applicability here.

It is important to teach people to understand and recognise a broader range of emotions (usually negative ones).

It has been shown to lessen the intensity of negative emotions and encourage appropriate responses.

Given the new data from the study, that it may also protect against the development of depression.

Moreover, the the finding that NED interacts with environmental stress to predict depression suggests it is especially important to target interventions at high-risk, stress-exposed youth.

References

This material from this article draws significantly from Emma Young's article which can be found at

https://digest.bps.org.uk/2019/07/23/teens-who-struggle-to-differentiate-their-negative-emotions-are-more-prone-to-stress-induced-depression/

The research study and link is detailed below:

Starr, L. R., Hershenberg, R., Shaw, Z. A., Li, Y. I., & Santee, A. C. (2019). The perils of murky emotions: Emotion differentiation moderates the prospective relationship between naturalistic stress exposure and adolescent depression. Emotion. Advance online publication.

https://doi.org/10.1037/emo0000630

What you need to know about stress and anxiety ... they are different

franco.c.greco@gmail.com (Franco Greco) — Tue, 03 Dec 2019 20:48:19 GMT

Knowing the difference can ensure you get the help you need

There’s a fine line between stress and anxiety.

Stress

Both are emotional responses, but stress is typically caused by an external trigger. The trigger can be short-term, such as a work deadline or a fight with a loved one or long-term, such as poverty, discrimination and chronic illness. People under stress experience mental and physical symptoms, such as irritability, anger, fatigue, muscle pain, digestive troubles and difficulty sleeping.

Anxiety

Anxiety, on the other hand, is defined by persistent, excessive worries that don’t go away even in the absence of a stressor. Anxiety leads to a nearly identical set of symptoms as stress: insomnia, difficulty concentrating, fatigue, muscle tension and irritability.

Anxiety disorders are common. The recent Productivty Commission Mental Health Report, states anxiety disorders affects 14% of Australians.

One of the most common anxiety disorders is generalized anxiety disorder, which affects about 3% of adults each year. To diagnose this condition, the clinician will look for symptoms such as excessive, hard-to-control worry occurring most days over six months. The worry may jump from topic to topic. Generalized anxiety disorder is also accompanied by the physical symptoms of anxiety.

Another type of anxiety disorder is panic disorder, which is marked by sudden attacks of anxiety that may leave a person sweating, dizzy and gasping for air. Anxiety may also manifest in the form of specific phobias (such as fear of flying) or as social anxiety, which is marked by a pervasive fear of social situations.

Approaches that help

Both mild stress and mild anxiety respond well to similar coping mechanisms. Physical activity, a nutritious and varied diet, and good sleep hygiene are a good starting point, but there are other coping mechanisms available.

If your stress or anxiety does not respond to these management techniques, or if you feel that either stress or anxiety are affecting your day-to-day functioning or mood, consider talking to a mental health professional who can help you understand what you are experiencing and provide you additional coping tools.

For example, a psychologist can help determine whether you may have an anxiety disorder. Anxiety disorders differ from short-term feelings of anxiety in their severity and in how long they last: The anxiety typically persists for months and negatively affects mood and functioning. Some anxiety disorders, such as agoraphobia (the fear of public or open spaces), may cause the person to avoid enjoyable activities or make it difficult to keep a job.

Anxiety disorders can be treated with psychotherapy (such as counselling), medication or a combination of the two.

One of the most widely used therapeutic approaches is cognitive behavioral therapy, which focuses on changing maladaptive thought patterns related to the anxiety. Another potential treatment is exposure therapy, which involves confronting anxiety triggers in a safe, controlled way in order to break the cycle of fear around the trigger .

To Assess Your Anxiety and Stress

The Depression, Anxiety and Stress Scale - 21 Items (DASS-21) is a set of three self-report scales designed to measure the emotional states of depression, anxiety and stress.

You can take the DASS at the following link:

https://www.yourpsychologist.net.au/18-schemas

References

This article has drawn from material posted at the American Psychological Association link below:

https://www.apa.org/topics/stress-anxiety-difference

Find out how our parents frame the way we approach life post 40.

Fri, 29 Nov 2019 20:01:26 GMT

Whether we like it or not, our parents play a big part in who we become as adults. Now new research suggests that we still rely on them well into mid-life.

Alexandra Kissling and Corinne Reczek, a research team from the Ohio State University, found that while we look to our mothers in much the same way we do when we’re children — asking them for advice and hoping they’ll be there to help us through periods of bad health, for instance — fathers act more like “cautionary tales”, examples of what not to do.

The research team conducted 90 qualitative interviews with midlife adult children: 45 gay, lesbian and straight couples aged between 40 and 60 years old. As they interviewed the couples, the researchers examined the influence of both the participants’ parents and their in-laws.

Each participant, interviewed separately from their spouse, was asked open-ended questions about their their health and their relationship with their family, such as “tell me about your relationship with your parents and your spouse’s parents”. More specific and targeted questions were also introduced, including “how do your parents support you during hard times” and “do your in-laws talk to you about their health?”.

Thirty-seven participants described parents as acting as “cautionary tales” — making a positive impact on their health, but doing so by acting as warnings. And this was particularly true of fathers.

“Adults in our study talked about how they were affected by their fathers having really poor health behaviors, like smoking or heavy drinking ... They really wanted to make sure they didn’t make the same mistakes," says Kissling.

In contrast, the continued support of mothers in adulthood could be related to “intensive mothering” — the idea that mothers are not only primary caregivers but that they also put everything into parenting, often placing the needs of their offspring before their own.

“The level of caring never stops, and mothers are there to help their children even as adults,” Kissling explains.

Can we generalise these findings? The researcher point out that the sample size is small and the reliance on self-reporting is not always the most accurate way to measure impact. They also point out that gendered norms are currently being renegotiated and rethought, it’s hard to say how long these particular relationships and assumptions about the roles of mothers and fathers will last.

My Thoughts

I do see in my own private practice, the impact that parents have on my clients. The research findings do correlate with my own first hand therapy experience of my clients who see their parents - particularly fathers - as 'cautionary tales' and not wanting to commit or live out their mistakes.

Something for You

Though we may not always have the most accurate or objective understanding of how our family relationships work, understanding the way we experience them is still worthy of attention.

Further information

The research article can be found at:

https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/0192513X19875772?journalCode=jfia

Thank You

To Emily Reynolds (@rey_z) - a staff writer at BPS Research Digest - I drew my article material from her work at:

https://digest.bps.org.uk/2019/11/04/parents-play-different-roles-in-our-health-as-adults-mothers-support-us-while-fathers-are-often-cautionary-tales/

What affects Australians’ mental health and wellbeing?

Mon, 25 Nov 2019 03:58:59 GMT

According to the Productivity Commission, 23% of Australians are estimated to be at risk of experiencing a mental health illness. What factors increase your risk of experiencing symptoms of mental illness?

The Productivity Commission (PC) estimates about 17% experienced an episode of mental illness in the past 12 months. This covers a spectrum of illness severity across mild, moderate or severe conditions. Mild conditions are those that can be either self managed or managed within primary care, while moderate conditions require specialist support. Only about 3% of Australians experience a severe mental illness in a given year, necessitating hospitalisation or treatment from specialist community mental health teams. Roughly one third of these people have a persistent disorder or complex needs.

Based on prevalence rates, the PC also estimates that about 23% are deemed to be at risk of experiencing an episode of mental illness because, in the past 12 months, they had emerging symptoms, a mental illness prior to the last year, or were exposed to another risk factor.

Mental health and wellbeing are influenced by a wide range of factors, which may act to protect a person’s wellbeing or increase their risk of experiencing symptoms of mental illness (refer to figure below). The interactions between specific factors and individual mental health are complex, and change over time.

Individual attributes, such as a history of physical and mental illness or stressful life events, may increase the risk of a person experiencing mental illness. Positive engagement with family, friends and the wider community and the ability to manage economic circumstances and gain access to economic and social opportunities through education are often seen as factors that protect a person’s mental health and wellbeing.

The presence and relative importance of these factors change over the life course (refer to figure below). In particular when they influence early life experiences, these factors can have life long effects on mental health. Extensive research has established the link between adverse childhood experiences and mental health in adulthood (Bellis et al. 2019).

On the other hand, people with more positive experience of childhood and adolescence are typically better placed to deal with the choices and challenges of adulthood. The ability to balance between work and time with family and friends, deal with unemployment, participate in the wider community rather than being excluded or isolated have an impact on an individual’s mental health.

As well as environmental factors, genetics can play a role in determining the risk that a person will experience mental illness at some point during their life. The exact role that genes have continues to be studied, but researchers believe that a combination of many different genes interact with each other to determine the risk of mental illness. People with a low genetic risk of developing a mental illness generally need a higher level of exposure to environmental risks to develop symptoms of mental ill health. On the other hand, a person with a high genetic risk requires a smaller disruption to their environment to act as a trigger for mental illness.

PC lists three key risks that can affect some people more than others

Although most people will be exposed to some of the risk factors associated with mental illness at some stage of their life, some people are likely to have longer exposure to multiple risk factors and an increased risk of developing a mental illness.

Submissions to PC inquiry, as well as an extensive body of research, have pointed to three risk factors — isolation, exposure to trauma and socioeconomic disadvantage — as major contributors to increased risk of mental illness among vulnerable population groups.

These factors not only increase the risk of a person developing a mental illness, but they also reduce the likelihood for them to engage with support services.

Isolation is created not only by geography

Isolation has many causes. It is often geographic, and affects those who live in rural and remote areas. People may be at higher risk of mental illness due to low rates of access to services, higher risks from weather events or natural disasters as well as occupational risks associated with farming and mining.

Isolation is not exclusively defined by geography and also poses a risk for those living in regional and urban areas. Older people and those without access to transport can easily become isolated in their own homes. For some in culturally and linguistically diverse (CALD) communities, language barriers can contribute to isolation. The (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex and Queer (LGBTIQ) community is also more likely than the general population to face stigma, discrimination, social exclusion, homophobia, transphobia, stereotyping, ostracising and harassment.

Discrimination can create a sense of isolation. The impact of being different, being excluded and the more subtle forms of discrimination such as being ‘left out’ or avoided can impact on mental health and lead to delay or avoidance in seeking treatment. Almost half of Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people who have experienced discrimination have reported feelings of psychological distress (ABS 2011). Discrimination can act as a risk factor for the development of depression and anxiety.

Exposure to trauma can have implications across generations

Some people are more likely than others to be exposed to a high level of trauma, and therefore are at higher risk of mental illness. For some, this may be an occupational hazard — emergency service workers (police, ambulance, fire fighters) and military personnel are at particular risk of being exposed to trauma resulting in post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).

For others, it is due to their exposure to traumatic events of war and violence. For example, refugees to Australia are at higher risk of mental illness, due to their experiences of living in refugee or displaced person camps or exposure to armed conflict.

Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people have a higher risk of being exposed to trauma, including intergenerational trauma.

Socioeconomic disadvantage has strong links to mental health and wellbeing.

Entrenched economic disadvantage remains a reality for a large number of people — about 700 000 people in Australia have been in income poverty for at least the past four years. Unemployed people, those with disability and Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people are at higher risk of income poverty and deprivation (PC 2018).

People experiencing financial stressors, such as low income or poverty, and/or compromised financial security, such as being unemployed or having excessive debt, are at increased risk of developing a mental illness.

Data shows that people living in the most relatively disadvantaged areas of Australia reported significantly higher levels of psychological distress and mental illness than those living in the least disadvantaged areas.

This article has been drawn from the Productivity Commission, Draft Review of Mental Health (Vol 1, pp 118-123). The link has been provided below.

https://www.pc.gov.au/inquiries/current/mental-health/draft

If you are experiencing mental health issues or wish to discuss an issue that is causing you distress, it may be helpful to speak to a trained mental health professional.

If this is an Emergency you should stop immediately and contact or go to the appropriate service such as Lifeline (13 11 14) or 000 for Police or Ambulance, your local Hospital, your GP, or a regional Mental Health Service.

Labelling your emotions is an important first step in dealing with them ... find out how to do this effectively!

Thu, 21 Nov 2019 23:33:52 GMT

In the third article of the Managing Emotions at Work series, I ask are feelings like stress and anger masking deeper issues that are hard to define? How good are you at labelling your emotions?

Stress and anger are two words that are most frequently used to describe workplace negative emotions. It may mask deeper issues that are hard to define!

Labelling our emotions is an important first step in dealing with them. However, this is harder than it sounds; many of us struggle to identify exactly what we feel, and often the most obvious label isn’t actually the most accurate one.

In my previous articles on this series, I have discussed that we have been trained to believe that strong emotions should be suppressed. Our society has certain, sometimes unspoken rules against expressing emotions and most of us have never learned a language to accurately describe our emotions.

Susan David, Psychologist at Harvard Medical School and author of the best selling book Emotional Agility , states that:

"Incorrectly diagnosing our emotions and those of the people who surround us makes us respond incorrectly. We will take a different approach if we think we need to attend to anger than if we are handling disappointment or anxiety."

Research on the benefits of labelling emotions:

Research points to when people don’t acknowledge and address their emotions, they display lower well-being and more physical symptoms of stress. Having the right vocabulary allows us to see the real issue at hand. This allows us to take a messy experience, understand it more clearly, and build a road-map to address the problem.

Hariri et al. (2000) asked participants to view emotional facial expressions and assign either an emotional (e.g. angry, afraid) or a non-emotional (e.g. assign a male or female name to the face) label. They found that using an emotional label to describe the picture compared to non-emotional ones led to increased activations in inhibitory networks in the pre-frontal cortex and reduced activations in amygdala (an area involved in emotional responses). This pattern of neural activity is typically observed when individuals intentionally try to down-regulate or control their emotions (Ochsner et al., 2004). Thus, the process of putting emotions into words seems to unintentionally activate a process of emotion regulation.

Since then, various studies have replicated this effect (Lieberman et al., 2007) and illustrated the benefits of affect labelling more clearly. Labelling has been found to reduce the subjective experience of negative emotions (Lieberman et al., 2011), but also the experience of physical symptoms (Constantinou et al., 2014).

Furthermore, studies have shown that incorporating affect labelling in exposure therapy can increase the efficacy of treatment for specific phobias (Kircanski et al., 2012; Niles et al., 2015).

These findings from clinical studies suggest that affect labelling can be beneficial within a therapeutic context, especially for individuals with poor emotion regulation abilities (Niles et al., 2015). It seems that encouraging the categorizing and labelling of emotions can initiate emotion regulation processes, which would not otherwise spontaneously take place for these individuals.

Further support for this notion comes from research on expressive writing as a therapeutic tool, which shows that guiding individuals in writing about emotional events can have both mental and physical health benefits in the long-term, especially for those individuals who have pronounced difficulties in identifying and describing their emotions (Baikie & Wilhelm, 2005).

Tips in getting better at labelling emotions:

Susan David has described three ways you can use to get a more accurate and precise sense of your emotions:

1. Broaden your emotional vocabulary

If you are experiencing a strong emotion, take a moment to consider what to call it, then try to come up with two more words that describe your feeling. This way, people often find deeper emotions buried beneath the more obvious ones.

You should do this for positive as well as negative emotions. Being able to say that you are excited about a new job and not just nervous will help you set your intentions for the role in a way that is more likely to lead to success down the road.

2. Consider the intensity of the emotion

It is important to estimate the extremity of basic descriptors like “angry” or “stressed”. Every emotion comes in a variety of flavors. When a friend describes his emotion as angry, he is maybe just annoyed or impatient. This insight may transform your perception about how others are feeling and this way, you can actually respond to a specific emotion without getting angry yourself.

Similarly, it is important to describe your own emotions more in depth, so that others can respond to your emotions accurately.

3. Write it out

This is how Susan David explains it:

‘The experiments of James Pennebaker, an American social psychologist and the Centennial Liberal Arts Professor of Psychology at the University of Texas at Austin who has done 40 years of research into the links between writing and emotional processing, revealed that people who write about emotionally charged episodes experience an increase in their physical and mental well-being. The process of writing allows people to gain a new perspective on their emotions and to understand them and their implications more clearly.”

Here is an exercise you can do:

When you are going through a tough time, it brings relief to reflect through writing:

Set a timer for 20 minutes.

Write about your emotional experience, go where your mind takes you.

You don’t have to save the document; the point is that those thoughts are now out of you and on the page, so that you can reflect on them.

These three approaches can be used when trying to better understand your own and another person’s emotions as we are evenly likely to mislabel other persons’ emotions as our own.

By understanding emotions more accurately, you will be better equipped to respond in a constructive way that makes understanding yourself and others easier.

I have provided below on self assessment quiz about your own emotional agility:

http://quiz.susandavid.com/s3/eai

Let me know how you go and if you have any comments or feedback on the article or experiences you have had in labelling your emotions. You can provide comments at:

https://www.yourpsychologist.net.au/contact

References:

Baikie, K. A., & Wilhelm, K. (2005). Emotional and physical health benefits of expressive writing. Advances in Psychiatric Treatment, 11(5), 338-346

Constantinou, E., Van Den Houte, M., Bogaerts , K, Van Diest, I. & Van den Bergh, O. (2014). Can words heal? Using affect labeling to reduce the effects of unpleasant cues on symptom reporting. Front. Psychol. 5:807.

Hariri, A.R., Bookheimer, S.Y., & Mazziotta, J.C. (2000). Modulating emotional responses: effects of a neocortical network on the limbic system. Neuroreport, 11(1), 43–48.

Kircanski, K., Lieberman, M.D. & Craske, M.G. (2012). Feelings Into Words: Contributions of Language To Exposure Therapy. Psychological Science, 23(10), 1086-1091.

Lieberman, M.D., Eisenberger, N.I., Crockett, M.J. Tom, S.M., Pfeifer, J.H. & Way, B.M. (2007). Putting Feelings Into Words: Affect Labeling Disrupts Amygdala Activity in Response to Affective Stimuli, Psychological Science, 18 (5), 421-428.

Lieberman, M.D., Inagaki, T.K., Tabibnia, G. & Crockett, M.J. (2011). Subjective responses to emotional stimuli during labeling, reappraisal, and distraction. Emotion, 11(3), 468-80.

Niles, A.N., Craske, M.G., Lieberman, M.D., Hur, C. (2015). Affect labeling enhances exposure effectiveness for public speaking anxiety. Behav Res Ther, 68:27-36.

Ochsner, K.N., Ray, R.D., Cooper, J.C., Robertson, E.R., Chopra, S., Gabrieli, J.D.E. & Gross, J.J. (2004). For better or for worse: neural systems supporting the cognitive down- and up-regulation of negative emotion. NeuroImage, 23, 483-499.

Lets talk about emotions when we discuss agility, inclusion and diversity.

Sun, 17 Nov 2019 03:17:54 GMT

In the second article on the Managing Emotions at Work series, I ask "are we missing the emotional experience when we focus on agility, inclusion and diversity?"

Everyone is talking about workplace agility, inclusion and diversity. However, the employee's emotional experience is often missed.

Organisations have a long history of sidelining messy emotions. The standard view is that employees and leaders alike can be either optimistic or stoic – but never outwardly angry, sad or disappointed. In the face of change in the workplace, there’s pressure to ‘just get on with it.’

How does that align with the ’in vogue’ organisational goals like being more agile ... driving inclusiveness ... leveraging off diverse views?

It is simply not possible to engage in driving towards these goals unless the organisation has a greater level of openness towards the more difficult emotions that people are experiencing.

When we embrace the full range of the human emotional experience it does results in better outcomes for all parties.

Susan David - Harvard Medical School Psychologist and author of the best selling book Emotional Agility - states that:

“so-called negative emotions play profoundly important roles in the workplace. Innovation and collaboration are often accompanied by failure, disappointment, and conflict.”

In an organisation, difficult emotions signpost the things people care about. Dissenters are often labelled as troublemakers, but David says dismissing their concerns is a mistake.

"If someone in your team is frustrated because they are bored at work, it’s usually a sign that they value growth and development and need a new challenge."

"A staff member who voices misgivings about a new strategy could be highlighting a clash with the organisation’s values, while grumbling about a project’s timeline is a red flag that an employee is worried that quality will be compromised."

"When organisational leaders push that feedback aside, they lose the opportunity to explore whether it can help the organisation to develop a better product, a better outcome, or a better strategy."

”Organisations must move away from the narrative that there are good and bad ways of feeling and recognise that they are dealing with humans who experience the full range of emotions.”

A key prerequisite to foster this level of emotional agility is psychological safety!

Here is an idea - focusing on ways to help employees feel safe to bring their emotional truth to the workplace without feeling that they are going to be fired, scapegoated, or branded negative - may reap more benefit than just talking about being more agile, inclusive and diverse.

Interested in your thoughts?

Often feeling angry and frustrated at work … how emotionally agile are you?

Sat, 16 Nov 2019 21:37:18 GMT

This is the first of a 3 part article series on managing emotions at work.

Are you feeling frustrated and stressed at work?

Are you getting angry with your boss or colleagues?

Do you repress your emotions or ruminate on them?

If you answered yes to all these questions - you may need to work on your emotional agility.

According to Harvard Medical School psychologist Dr Susan David - and author of Emotional Agility – repressing or ruminating on your emotions could be dangerous for your career:

“ … emotions are data not directives … we shouldn't let them boss us around …:

Often we can cling too strongly to one emotion, thought, or feeling. This creates what Steven Hayes – a psychologist who developed Acceptance Commitment Therapy (ACT) a pproaches - calls psychological inflexibility.

There is always an opportunity to learn to accept these as fleeting feelings and thoughts and allow them to move on. Only when we do this can we catalyze and bring about healthy change.

In Emotional Agility, Dr. David, leverages from ACT, citing four key concepts that can help you become more emotionally agile: showing up, stepping out, walking your why, and moving on.

These concepts emphasize the need to create emotional strength and adaptiveness to change and creating psychological flexibility.

Show Up - Acceptance

Do you allow your emotions to govern your behavior, either by trying to suppress them or obsessing on them too much? If so, you will probably benefit from “showing up” to your emotions and listening to what they’re trying to tell you, without the guilt, shame that makes you question whether you should or shouldn’t be experiencing them.

For example, if you’re unhappy in your role but continue to tell yourself “I should be happy because at least I’ve got a job”, you’re not doing your emotional health any favours. Rather, by not trying to wrestle yourself out of the emotion and connecting with what is really causing the feelings of frustration and disaffection under the surface, you will be able make effective changes in your life much earlier and with much more clarity.

Remember, acceptance is a prerequisite for any type of change.

2. Step Out – create a distance and label your emotional feeling and thoughts

Once you’ve opened up to your feelings, the next step is to incorporate a mindfulness practice to help you see them for what they are—just emotions. This is about creating a gap between the situation and your response.

For example, if you’re on the phone to your energy company, growing more and more angry by the minute because they’re got your bill wrong yet again, try to take a moment to step outside the situation and realise, “this impulsive response isn’t going to get me anywhere”.

Having the ability to pause after acknowledging an emotion can be incredibly powerful. It can also create space for you to think, “Who do I really want to be in this situation?”

When you're mindful of your anger, you can observe it with greater sensitivity, focus and emotional clarity, perhaps discovering where the anger is actually coming from. You might even discover that your "anger" is really sadness or fear.

3. Find Your “Why”

This is about living by your own personal set of values – the beliefs and behaviours that give your life meaning and satisfaction – rather than those imposed by others, or the things that you think you should care about.

This is not always easy. Often when we are faced with difficult situations that make us feel uncomfortable, our natural impulse is to say to ourselves “I just need to get rid of the fear”. However, this way of thinking may not help you accomplish those things in life that you'd really like to.

To make decisions that match up with the way you hope to live, you need to feel the fear and make a choice to move towards your values, even in the face of discomfort. It might be that you feel really fearful about taking a new path in your career, or about having a difficult conversation with your partner that you know you need to have for the sake of your relationship. However, if that career change or that conversation is connected with something that you truly value, then you’ve found your “why”.

4. Set your goals

Once you’ve established your values and learned to take a step back from your emotions, you’re well on the path to being more emotionally agile – but don’t stop there. Now is the time to cultivate a habit, so that you’re freed up from purposefully thinking about these new behaviours every day.

For example, if you come home from work every day and automatically spend that time on your phone, without engaging with your children, that might be a habit that you’ve gotten into that’s disconnected with the way that you actually want to parent.

In these types of situations, try a technique called ‘piggy-backing’. That is when you choose a new specific action to piggyback onto an existing habit. It could be as simple as adding some fruit to your morning cereal to help form healthier eating habits.

These small, deliberate tweaks to your mindset, motivation, and self-talk – in ways that are infused with your values – can make a powerful difference in your life. These shifts in your attitude are perfect for setting goals and giving you that extra boost to accomplish them.

A Take-Home Message

Emotional agility is one tool to facilitate a healthy transition from one state to the next.

What if changes were not terrifying, but rather, a time to practice our emotional agility and receive the support we need? How do you practice emotional agility? Interested in your comments.

Michele Timms talks about the role of feedback in driving team success

Wed, 13 Nov 2019 03:48:32 GMT

How you give and receive feedback is critical in establishing psychological trust and safety in any relationships whether it’s with your partner, family, friends, your employer and colleagues. Its such a simple and powerful tool yet we fear giving it and don’t know how to ask for it.

Every month I will speaking to professionals, executives or entrepreneurs about their career, mental health and what makes them successful.

I did this interview sometime ago with Michele Timms, an Australian basketball icon and arguably one of Australia's greatest basketball players of all time.

As a player, coach and now running a successful elite development academy, Michele Timms Basketball Academy , Michele talks about the importance of feedback in shaping team, and her own, success.

Michele talks about how feedback from her peers at a young age was critical in her development as a team player.

Michele spoke about the need to have a trusting culture to enable feedback to be effective. "The person you're giving feedback to must believe you have their interest at heart.' She referenced 'the seven values' of the OPALS and how that set a standard that enabled a trusting environment.

Michele talked about the importance of the credibility of the person giving the feedback and the role that Tom Maher had on her career, and his capacity to get the most out of her through critical constructive feedback.

Michele also recognized people like getting feedback, a lot more than they like giving it. She discusses how she was not always willing to give feedback but had to learn to adopt her own style in doing so as a senior player and then coach.

You can listen to the full interview at the link below:

https://vimeo.com/280668155/f6c9f96671

You deserve to know this about depression

Tue, 05 Nov 2019 19:40:34 GMT

Depression is a chronic, recurrent, lifelong condition ... but is this the complete story?

Depression is a chronic, recurrent, lifelong condition. In the main, this is often the conventional, orthodox and public presentation of depression. However is this the complete picture on the enduring impact of depression for all people who suffer from it?

What is the Complete Story?

I read an excellent article in the British Psychological Society Research Digest by Emma Young (https://digest.bps.org.uk/2018/10/30/the-public-deserve-to-know-that-there-is-an-overlooked-subset-of-people-who-thrive-after-major-depression/) , that covered research by team of psychologists led by Jonathan Rottenberg at the University of South Florida on depression.

The research team argued that:

"A significant subset of people recover and thrive after depression, yet research on such individuals has been rare.”

Rottenberg's team agree that long-term studies suggest that a substantial population of people are affected by a burdensome, recurrent form of the disorder.

But the team cite three studies finding that an average of 40 to 50 per cent of people who suffer an episode of depression don’t go on to experience another.

High Functioning After Depression (HFAD) Individuals

They propose a new definition for a subset of individuals - “high functioning after depression” (HFAD). For an individual to be categorised as experiencing HFAD requires more than simply recovering from the symptoms of major depression for at least a year.

Rottenberg and his research team argue that, an individual must also have achieved high end-state functioning – doing well at work and home and socially, and reporting “robust” wellbeing – feeling satisfied with life and enjoying high levels of self-acceptance, for instance.

HFAD individuals - not been a research focus

“This omission, and the field’s lack of focus on good outcomes after depression more broadly, virtually guarantees an unduly pessimistic impression of depression’s course ... ”

The likely driver is that people with recurrent depression are more highly likely to be over-represented in depression studies.

What leads people who exhibit HFAD to become depressed in the first place?

One view is that HFAD individual may represent "a more psycho-social form of depression ... more likely to be precipitated by environmental adversity, such as death, a break up of a romantic relationship or a job loss,” the team suggest.

Whether or not this is the case clearly needs exploring. Emma in her article ponders further questions. Are people who are HFAD more likely to have sought help while they were depressed? Does depression itself play a role in triggering the long-term improvement seen in HFAD? (Something similar has been proposed for trauma). Can we apply what is learnt about HFAD to enhance clinical interventions?

What does HFAD tell us about thriving after other mental disorders?

There are clearly a lot of questions. But here, at least, is a framework for finding potentially useful answers.

“One reason HFAD needs to be discussed,” the researchers write, “is that it is part of the truth, which patients and the broader public are owed. It would be odd if an oncologist did not tell a cancer patient his or her chances of achieving lifetime remission. We submit that a depressed patient also deserves to know. The public deserves to know as well.”

Read more about the article, The Curious Neglect of High Functioning After Psychopathology: The Case of Depression at:
https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1745691618769868

To discuss this article or any feeling of psychological distress

You can contact me at Your Psychologist at the following link:
https://www.yourpsychologist.net.au/appointment-request

Draft Mental Health Review

Tue, 05 Nov 2019 19:35:28 GMT

The Productivity Commission (the Commission) released their draft Mental Health report on 31 October 2019.

The inquiry examined the mental health and well-being of Australia’s population, the prevention and early detection of mental illness, and treatment for those who have a diagnosed condition.

It proposes recommendations and directions for a long term reform agenda.

The final report is due in May 2020. There is an opportunity to provide submissions to the inquiry by end of January 2020.

In the lead up to the final report, I will be providing a regular post on my website under BLOG outlining the key issues and opportunities to improve the mental health and well-being of Australians and the mental health system.

I have attached below a link to the Commission draft report and also relevant mental health data and information.

https://www.pc.gov.au/inquiries/current/mental-health/draft

My first article posted shortly will be on ‘Why do clients stop seeing their psychologist when they need help?’

If you have any questions on the Draft Mental Health Review or wish to schedule a free initial consultation you can contact me at Your Psychologist at the following link:

https://www.yourpsychologist.net.au/appointment-request

Why do clients stop seeing their therapist when they need help?

Tue, 05 Nov 2019 19:33:16 GMT

The Productivity Commission (the Commission) estimates that there are 3.9 million people with mental illness in Australia. 2.9 million people access mental health care services.

One in five people will experience mental ill-health (diagnosable mental illness and mental health problems) in any year. Over their life time, one in two people will experience mental ill-health.

1 in 8 visits to GPs are related to mental health issues.

About 1.2 million people access Medicare-subsidised psychological therapy through the Better Access program.

However, one in three only attend one or two sessions , dropping out due to the out-of-pocket cost or difficulty finding a suitable provider.

Most clients - while are not constrained by the service limit - do not receive sufficient psychological therapy to achieve a significant and sustained improvement in their condition.

Many just get one or two sessions before they drop out. Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people were more likely than the overall population to have only one session (22% compared with 17%) (Commission estimates). On average, consumers received 4.5 sessions of individual therapy in 2018.

People cease therapy before they are better for several reasons.

I have provided a few reasons below and some suggestions for clients and therapists to adopt to minimise the risk of ceasing therapy:

1. Cost of therapy - Therapy can impose a significant burden on the clients. There will be times when a client will not be able to afford therapy. This is often experienced as shame, and embarrassment by the client. The role of the therapist in this context is to create an environment where an issue like this can be discussed. In fact, this issue may be an opportunity to build the necessary level of trust required for successful treatment. The opportunity to discuss – and where appropriate negotiate - the cost and payment for treatment could remove this barrier associated shame and embarrassment and build trust.

2. The therapist - some clients do not establish the necessary therapeutic rapport with the therapist to which they are referred, and then drop out. Yet we know from the research that half of the treatment effectiveness is due to the therapist factors (such as building a safe, trusting and learning environment). Less than 3% of those who received MBS rebated psychological therapy in 2018 went to more than one provider (Commission). Increased client choice of therapist would better sustain a strong ‘therapeutic alliance’. Therapist also needs to be open and attentive and to this issue and the potential barrier to a client's treatment and ask the client about how they are 'feeling about the sessions?

3. Not seeing the benefit from therapy - Some clients may feel they are not getting benefit from treatment. Therapists could do more to demonstrate the benefit of therapy, for example by regularly measuring client outcomes and sharing these with clients. Therapist can also engage with the client on the process of treatment, the aims in the approach they are taking ... this provides valuable insights to the client and encourages a learning mindset and framework for the client to use beyond the treatment sessions. Also by talking about the process of therapy, it promotes the expectation that eventually 'we will be able to address these problems and take care of things.' It gives the client a goal to work toward right from the beginning. It reminds them that in maybe six months or a year they may be done.

4. Client fear and resistance to change - if a client comes in with concerns about treatment or is unsure what is going to happen in therapy, then the therapist can seek to provide that client with some education to help him or her feel more comfortable. If a client is feeling anxious about sharing some of his or her feelings, then the therapist can work hard to foster the therapeutic alliance and to increase that client's motivation for treatment. Putting strategies in place early on in treatment before the dropout actually happens.

If you have any questions on this article or the Draft Mental Health Review or wish to schedule a free initial consultation you can contact me at Your Psychologist at the following link:

https://www.yourpsychologist.net.au/appointment-request

Why culture matters

Tue, 22 Oct 2019 01:17:39 GMT

I was recently featured in the Victorian Government One VPS news.

Culture is the single most important force leaders have to accelerate change. When you understand culture and how to work with it you can accelerate your performance improvements not just in the short term, but for the long term.

What you know about how you learn is wrong

Sun, 20 Oct 2019 07:19:32 GMT

People are very good at dismissing seemingly irrelevant connections in the worlds. This an effecient way we function as people. But at what cost?

" Experience has shown … that the truth arises from the

seemingly irrelevant.”

This quote from Edgar Allen Poe (1899) highlights that people are very good dismissing seemingly irrelevant connections to function in the world.

This is called ‘latent inhibition … a mental tool to experience the world in a manageable way.

Latent inhibition describes the process we use attribute relevance or more specifically irrelevant to insignificant and not worthy things, events or people that don’t further attention.

I listened to a great discussion on Dr Scott Kaufman’s program, The Psychology Podcast, where he recently discussed this issue with the Dr Jordan Peterson, a clinical psychologist and researcher.

" … we do that because when we first encounter something … you don’t want to assume that it is not relevant … mainly because it might be dangerous or equally useful. But most of the things we encounter in end are neither dangerous nor useful … and therefore we efficiently put them aside and ignore them.”

Dr Peterson goes on to say that,

" A lot of what we learn … we think derives from what things mean … and there is some truth in that ….but it is more accurate to say … we determine what is irrelevant … things, events, people start out being relevant and then we learn that they are not relevant.”

How do creative people see the world is not often like that … they have decreased latent inhibition the ability to re-examine and transform familiar meanings into novel patterns which in turn enables higher levels of creative achievement.

There is evidence that reduced latent inhibition is associated with openness to experience – one of the ‘Big 5’ personality traits. People with high openness to experience are flexible and creative, embrace new ideas and take on challenging intellectual or cultural pursuits.

You can assess your tendency to be being open by taking the ‘How open are you to experiences?’ Quiz at:

https://content.leadquizzes.com/lp/muIfkONkjw

Regardless, if you have high, average or low openness to experience, you can develop openness to experience habits that can maximize your potential for creative growth.

For example, examining exercises to let your imagination run wild or changing your routine around are effective ways to stimulate openness.

If you would like to know more about the openness to experience domain, and strategies to develop it, or find out about the other personality domains schedule a free 15 minute consultation at:

https://yourpsychologist.net.au/contact/